Chapter 11

The darkness as he made it back to his room, just to find a small gift on it from Ardelo. Lukas sat on the edge of his bed and looked at it, kicking his legs against the floor. In bringing it next to him, he noted the money for one of the nearby art stores, plus two different letters: one from Lord Alik and one from Irvin.

In opening the letter from Irvin, Lukas let out a deep sigh. He should hope this man would break up with him, so that he could go back to doing things normally. But as he read, his heart sank. Lukas, at this point, wasn’t ready to let go of him.

Dear Lukas,

I don’t know how you went to a new realm, just to criticize me. You might think you have a big life a head of you in the new world, but make no mistakes. I have seen what your new realm is like, with that country in mind specifically. If you are lucky, you will find yourself a small home, and you will be eating meager porridge for breakfast. Meanwhile, I can give you the coffee and fruitcakes you like.

Furthermore, your whole idea of casting our relationship aside for your art is absurd. All of this has shown me you are not actually interested in a relationship, and you were merely using me for my money. In this case, I am very disappointed in you.

I wanted us to be together, and I wanted us to have a future. One where we would both find ample security within one another. We would have a long happy life together as well. But you have shown you do not have the commitment for that. And once your future attempts at finding lovers know what you’re doing, I doubt they will take you.

Please come home soon, Lukas. I am worried sick about you, and all of your efforts in the new world. If you do come home, perhaps I can talk to some people about helping you get a new job, and then we can start our relationship over from the beginning.

With the deepest love,

Irvin

Lukas set the letter down, the familiar pang back in his stomach. He would be going through this break up, and he would be doing it by himself. That was, if he chose to break up with Irvin. If he even had a way to break up with the man. As he sat back, his hands trembled.

In picking up the letter from Alik, his mood would not be better. In fact, there was something worse about this situation. Much, much worse. The darkness outside of his room had matched how he felt. He had classes beginning on the first weekday, and at this point, he could almost wish they would come quicker. This next course would be less intense, in that there was no lab. Only, there would be times where he had to explore the city.

In breaking the seal, he could read onward. Lord Alik had sent more art supplies, and he had sent the money as well.

Dear Lukas,

I appreciate your letter, and I can tell you worked hard for your language classes. As such, I wanted to send you a letter and some art supplies. At this point, I would be lying if I said I wasn’t intrigued by you. You have a bright expression that is hard to miss. I understand the timing, and the complications, and I will respect whatever wishes you have. However, in the event that you wrote to me, I assume there is some interest on your end.

With this in mind, I would love to find a way to get to know you further, even if it’s just meant to be a friendship. Or, we could make some business discussions. But I would love it if we could pursue each other in other, more intimate ways too, if you would like.

With the deepest honor,

Lord Alik

Lukas took both letters, reading them both twice. Both gave his stomach a rotten feeling. He should have taken Lord Alik’s letter in his hand, and he should have torn it to shreds. After that, he would not think about it again. On the flipside, with Lukas’ letter, knowing what he did about the new kingdom, he couldn’t avoid the idea as well as the guilt knowing what he truly desired. He didn’t want to go back to his old world. Not for his old lover, not for his parents, and not for any of these things. Besides. Irvin was scared to lose him for the wrong reasons. He knew that much. But the part of Lukas who had loved Irvin years ago held onto the letter. He could say yes. He could go back home, and he could hope Irvin wouldn’t yell at him when he returned.

In coiling his hand around Irvin’s letter, he let it crumple. A moment later, he tore it to shreds, slowly but surely. The pieces then grew smaller, until it was like a puzzle no one could put back together. Lukas would then hide the letter in his book bag. He would find a way to dispose of it later.

A moment later, he took out his quill. While he would invite Lord Alik to meet him late at night and in disguise, while he would send a quick note to Irvin.

Dear Irvin,

I have received your letter, and my answer is still no. As of right now, I don’t care what my finances are like, because it’s not worth staying with you. I am done being controlled by you and your rules.

Consider this letter to be us parting ways romantically. While you might still have feelings for me, I don’t love you anymore.

Sincerely,

Lukas.

 Lukas would set the first letter into his book bag. Thanks to Ardelo, he knew where to go for such items. But it wasn’t Lord Alik and his prospects which gave him pause. It was Irvin, as well as how Irvin would respond to the breakup letter.

Somehow, ending things with a previous relationship would be much more difficult for him than breaking rules which could end his entire career.

He would bury his head in his hands, while fear crept in. What if things didn’t work out with Lord Alik? What if they were taking things too quickly? After all, a mere crush on someone, regardless of how they looked, could die just as quickly. Had Lukas made a huge mistake?

In hiding his materials, he would go back outside, not feeling ready to sleep. The cold night persisted, and he could hope to find the dogs out here. But to no avail. The dogs had likely gone home for the night. But the longing for any reprieve lingered.

Even if they were a world apart, Lukas still feared his boyfriend. He didn’t have the power to come into this realm. But with Irvin’s resources, it would be a matter of time before he could find a way to ruin what Lukas had here.

I wish I had an easy out. I have the makings of a better life now, and I am on the verge of breaking up with my boyfriend. But I feel as though I am making the worst mistake of my life, and I am not certain as to why.