Noah

After a quick meal from a drive-through, I bring Chris back to his house. I wait in the car for a few minutes, in case he comes back, but soon I get a text from him that things are as okay as they can be and I should drive home. He adds that he lied and promised his mom he would only pursue women from now on. She, in turn, promised not to tell his father.

‘I will stay.’ is his last message.

Instead of relief, a heavy weight presses on my gut. This situation is anything but ideal and I wish I could just run in there, grab Chris and tell his parents to fuck off. That they don’t deserve to have such a wonderful son. 

Instead, I have to watch helplessly as long as Chris keeps living there.

When I return home, I’m surprised to see Taylor sitting on the couch with my little sister Olly, watching an animated movie. My mom looks around the corner and I can tell with one glance that she is unhappy with me. I take a deep breath and try to ease into my fixed smile. It’s somehow even more difficult than usual. 

“Hey, Mom.”

She signals me to follow her into the kitchen with a nod. Tay doesn’t even notice I have arrived, too focused on the movie.

My mom waits for me, her arms crossed and her mouth strained. 

“Why did you leave Tay here? I thought we talked about this. I thought you were okay with doing the tutoring sessions. You could have said no, Noah, but you just ditch him?”

Could I really have said no? 

I would contradict her, but it’s been an emotionally draining day and I don’t want to add to it.

 “A friend of mine had an emergency. It couldn’t wait. I explained this to Tay, and he was okay with me leaving. We even agreed to move the session to tomorrow instead. What the heck is he still doing here?”

My mom loses some of her sharpness and answers, “Olivia got home early from choir practice, so they ate together, and she roped him into hanging out with her.”

Okay, that’s a little funny and I can see a hint of amusement in Mom’s eyes as well. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t message you,” I finally concede, “I was distracted.”

“Is everything okay with your friend?”

I hesitate. If it ever comes to Chris needing to stay here, now would be a good moment to mention it, but I don’t want to deal with the questions it will inevitably bring up. So I smile. 

“Yeah. It’s more or less taken care of now.”

Mom points towards the stove, where there is a casserole with lasagna. “I thought you might still be hungry.”

“Thanks.”

She leaves for her office while I put some lasagna on a plate and then sit with Tay and my sister. Tay visibly flinches when I sit next to him. 

“Oh, you’re back,” he says, his voice almost nervous.

“I somehow- I mean, your sister asked me to watch something with her and then …”

I laugh, “I heard that she made you her designated entertainer for the day. I’m sorry about that.”

“We were having fun,” my sister interjects and I’m sure she had fun. Tay gives me a somewhat helpless grimace and I snicker. 

We snuggle into a bunch of blankets and pillows and Olly explains what I missed in the movie, while I gobble up the lasagna. Even Tay sometimes throws in some comments that make the movie plot much more hilarious, while my sister whines that things didn’t happen like that at all. After today, I crave this kind of normalcy. Even though Tay being this homey is anything but normal, I could easily get used to it.

About the time the movie is nearing its end, Mom comes back, phone in hand. She gestures to pause the movie and Olly does. 

“What’s up?” I ask. 

“I was on a call with your mother, Taylor, and we were talking about the children’s day at our university in two weeks. It will be on saturday and we still need volunteers to man the info booth. We were wondering if you two were up to the task.”

“Sure,” I say, simply because I can’t tell her no.

“Sure,” Taylor says, for whatever fucking reason. 

I turn around to him. “Don’t you have enough to do with school and tutoring?”

Mom chimes in, “You can get a slip by the uni for your volunteer work to add to your college applications.”

Tay nods again, “Sounds good.”

Mom lifts the phone back to her ear, “Did you hear that? They agreed-”, is all I can hear before she disappears back into her office.

I turn back to Tay. “Are you really sure you want to-”
“Yes. How often are you gonna ask me? I’m sure. I’ve done this before. It’s fun to talk with the kids.”

I open my mouth, but before I can speak, Olly cuts me off, which is probably for the best. “How about another movie?”

❖ 

“Is she asleep?” I whisper close to Tay’s ear. Tay shrinks back a little and looks to his right, where my sister is lying sprawled over half the couch, forcing us to sit close together. In my head, I give my sis a high five. 

“Yeah, she’s out,” Tay whispers back. At some point, we ended up under the same blanket and I’m very reluctant to get up. 

“Um,” Tay begins, his eyes set on the screen, “Was … was everything okay? With your … friend?”

He vaguely ends the sentence and I wonder if he is trying to fish for information. But this is not my story to share, especially considering that he and Chris are in the same year, even if they go to different schools. But before I can respond, Tay adds, “You seemed pretty upset when you came back, so …”

Aaaah fuck. My heart melts. We are sitting in the half dark, whispering and sharing each other’s warmth, when Tay hits me with this lethal strike. He is playing so damn unfairly and doesn’t even know it. 

“Were you worried?” My lips rise along with my mood. 

Tay doesn’t answer. He looks torn between saying the truth and being his usual snappy self with me, and it’s an adorable fight to watch. Before he implodes, I save him the answer. “It’s true that I was upset. But my friend is more or less okay and there isn’t much I can do to help the situation at this point. And before you ask, I can’t tell you what happened. It’s not my story to share.”

Tay bites his lips and nods. “As long as you and your friend are okay.”

Okay, that was a weird emphasis on friend. Why would he … Oh. Does he think I went to see my girlfriend or something? My toes draw together and I need to hold on to the cushion on my left to hold in a hysterical laugh.

“We are fine, thank you,” I say with a tremor in my voice and Tay’s face scrunches. There is a long silence until, “I- uh, should probably go, then.”

I get up with him, feeling bereft of warmth, and offer, “Let me drive you back.”

This time, Tay doesn’t protest and follows me to the car. On the way back, he stays silent, and only when I remind him of our next session tomorrow does he seem to come to.

“I know, geez.”

The car door falls closed a little too hard. In the safety of the car, I chuckle and let my forehead bonk against the wheel. This day has taken one too many turns for me to process.