The air shifted uncomfortably. She wanted to make it clear that she controlled my financial situation. Thanks to an old family friend of my grandfather’s, I was able to do my journeyman ship at Henley Construction – subsequently getting my carpenter’s and contractor’s license. I formed a small five-man crew including myself as lead and Mateo as my assistant and we were under contract with Henley Construction. We were guaranteed at least two jobs per quarter, but those jobs could be very small and quick compared to larger jobs that brought in more money. Because we were a smaller and relatively newer crew, we had to work twice as hard and fast while putting out top quality work to earn our place. But no matter how good we were, Pacey had the power to ensure steady work for us or bring it to a screeching halt.

However, I do have one advantage…

“Ugh, I knew it smelled over her,” my advantage gagged. Jelynne “Jelly” Morales was my other best friend. If there was anything to know about her, it’s that she absolutely hates Pacey Henley. If you’re wondering, yes, the feeling is mutual. They had gone to high school together and hated each other back then. Jelly is part of my crew as a buyer but she, unlike others, wasn’t afraid of Pacey.

“What smell?” Pacey asked irritably.

“The smell over here,” Jelly said as she pointed at Pacey. “It reeks of desperation.” Pacey gasped in shock, and I bit my lip to keep from laughing out loud. “How many times does he have to reject you until finally take the hint? He. Does. Not. Like. You.”

“I can’t believe you have the nerve to talk to me like that!” Pacey shouted.

“I can’t believe you have the nerve to continue to ask him out when he keeps telling you no! Johnny’s too nice to tell you to back off to your face, but it’s getting embarrassing. It’s tacky and classless to continue to sexually harass him.”

“Sexual harassment? What are you talking about?”

“The definition of sexual harassment is any unwelcome conduct of a sexual nature, including sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal, nonverbal, or physical conduct of a sexual nature including, but not limited to any conduct that creates an intimidating, hostile, or offensive work environment, or that negatively impacts an individual's work performance.”

“Exactly what are you accusing me of?”

Jelly laughed. “Are you that stupid or have you not been paying attention? Sexual harassment. I’m accusing you of sexual harassment. I get you can’t find a date to save your life, but trying to force him into submission is just tacky and unethical.”

“Tacky?!” Pacey growled. I could practically see the steam rising from her head. “Jonathan and I were just having a conversation. You’re always inserting yourself in his affairs, it’s almost as if you’re interested in him!”

“Ew,” Jelly said with a gag.

“Really? I’m right here you know,” I complained.

“That big, dumb piece of eye candy is like a brother to me,” Jelly continued, completely ignoring me. “Also, unlike you, I already have a man and I didn’t have to back him into a corner to get him to take me on a date. So, one more time, leave him alone. We aren’t at work so your daddy can’t save you if I were to call the police.”

“Are you threatening me?”

As soon as Pacey took a step towards Jelly and I immediately jumped off my stool and got between the two women. I doubt either of them would refrain from throwing a punch if I didn’t.

“Ladies, I think it’s time we all took a breath and backed off,” I said sternly. “Jelly, I can take it from here. Ms. Henley, I apologize, but I’ll have to decline your request. As I’ve told you, I don’t feel comfortable getting intimately involved with someone from work.

Pacey finally seemed to get the hint because she laughed to herself and rolled her eyes as she mumbled, “Whatever.” She turned to leave but paused for a moment. She didn’t look back at us as she spoke once more, “You’ll say yes one of these days, Jonathan. You can count on that.”

I shuddered at the thought of going on a date with Pacey. Why was she so confident it was going to happen too? Was she going to kidnap me and keep in a hole under her family’s mansion?

“I swear, she’s the definition of a psychopath,” Jelly sighed.

“Then why do you insist on provoking her?” I grumbled as I rubbed my temples. “You’re always picking a fight with her making shit harder for me.”

“You’re seriously complaining? If I don’t, who’s gonna save your ass from these situations? These idiots?” Jelly yelled as she motioned to Theo and Mateo. “Look at you two dummies. You just sat there with your tails between your legs!”

“Hey! I told him to shut up and he kept talking,” Theo defended himself. “Besides, if he was more blunt with her he wouldn’t be in this situation repeatedly. You need to stop beating around the bush, Johnny!”

“Most people take the hint when you’ve turned them down for five years,” I retorted.

“If you got a girlfriend, she’d have no choice but to leave you alone,” Mateo pointed out.

“For fuck’s sake.”

“He has a point,” Jelly said. “I only see positives. You’re not alone anymore and Pacey stays away from you. Unless you secretly like it. Redheads are your thing, aren’t they? What about a brunette? There’s a girl I know that wants to meet you. I can introduce you guys.”

“If you’re interested in experimenting, I know a guy,” Theo added. “I know plenty that would die for a ride on the Johnny train.”

“Guys, enough, please,” I pleaded. 

“I’m just saying, you look like a good time.”

“What we’re really trying to say,” Jelly interrupted as she tried to change the subject, “is we don’t want you to look back on your life in ten…twenty years and regret not doing things differently.” 

“I’ve made plenty of mistakes in my life, but I don’t regret a single one. If I didn’t make them, I wouldn’t have the most important thing in my life,” I smiled. “So, I appreciate your concern, but there’s no need for any blind dates or accidental meetings. I’m just not interested right now.”

“What I’m hearing is you might be in the future,” Theo joked.

I finished the contents of my glass before pulling some cash out of my wallet, leaving it under my glass for the bartender. “I’m heading out before it gets too late.”

“Don’t be like that,” Jelly said as she grabbed my arm.

“I have to get home. You know I do.”

“Yea, but you don’t gotta leave like this,” Mateo said.

It’s not that I don’t appreciate them or their efforts, but I can’t afford the luxury of dating. I already spend time with those I’m closest to and care about the most. To me, time taken from them would be taking for granted all they’ve done for me. They were there for me when I was at my absolute lowest. When I couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, they helped me to my feet with a flashlight and walked by my side to the exit. They were my family when I lost my actual family.

“We’re good, I promised,” I reassured them. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

Jelly reluctantly let go of my arm. She hated leaving things unresolved, but she also knew that when I shut down there was no point in trying.

“So, I can get a list together for eventual blind dates?” Theo shouted at me.

“Absolutely not,” I replied without looking back.

After leaving the bar, I drove home in silence. The noise in my head was loud enough already. In the past, I would escape times like this by listening to or playing music. I’d get lost in the melodies and lyrics, letting the artists’ emotions wash over me. It’d inspire me to pick up my guitar and play or work on a song of my own. But it’s been ages since I’ve done that. I still play from time to time, but it’s not the same. I don’t feel the same as I did before. Over time music started to sound dull in my ears. My fingers no longer itched to strum the strings of a guitar. I lost my desire to play. I hit rock-bottom and I haven’t found a reason to crawl out of that hole yet. 

I gathered all the scattered thoughts and emotions running rampant in me before heaving myself out of my car and heading inside my house. I removed my work boots in the mudroom and put them on the shoe rack before slipping my house slippers on.

“I’m home,” I called out into the darkness.

I was immediately greeted by a smile bright enough to light up the darkest of places. If Theo and Mateo were like my brothers and Jelly my sister, Adria Stewart was no doubt our surrogate mother. Mateo went to school with her son Tony. She had learned that the Ramos brothers and I didn’t really have active parental figures around, so she took us in as her own. Her kind and gentle heart made me miss my mother even more.

She walked over to give me a hug, pausing as she sniffed me. “Were you drinking?” she asked sternly. Before I could answer, she asked, “Did you drive home after drinking?!”

I’m damned if I answer and damned if I don’t. That was the only response she needed to confirm her suspicions. She swatted at my arm. “Johnathan Park, have you lost your mind? You could have gotten hurt or hurt someone else drinking and driving!”

“I didn’t drink that much, Ma! I promise!” I insisted as I tried to block her swats. “Someone showed up and I didn’t feel like drinking any more.”

“Who? Was it that Pacey girl again? Is she stalking you now?”

I shook my head as I chuckled and pulled her into a hug. “I’ll be fine. Jelly chased her away. Now I have to deal with Theo, Mateo and Jelly bugging me. They think I need to start dating again.”

“This again?” she sighed. “I won’t say that I’m taking anyone’s because I see where you’re all coming from. Dating after what happened isn’t easy. Trust me, I know better than anyone, but it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t try. They push, I push because we love you. We want you to be happy.”

“But I am happy with the way things are.”

“Honey, don’t mistake happiness for being complacent. You deserve more. Don’t let the fear of the past keep you from living in the present.” She hugged me tightly and I felt somewhat better. “I left some dinner on the table for you.”

“You cooked?”

“Lord no. I ordered from that Hawaiian place you like. Dishes are in the dishwasher, living room is cleaned up, and homework’s done and checked.”

“Thanks, Ma. I really appreciate it.”

“Anything for you, baby boy. Oh! Before I forget, I have something for you.” Adira scurried out of the room and reappeared with something in her hands. “Demi came by last weekend and dropped this off. They’re accepting last-minute applications to fill some classes or they’ll have to cancel them for low registration. She thought you might consider taking this robotics class. Didn’t you need a few more credits to get your computer science bachelors?”

I took the flier and frowned. “I don’t know if I’d have the time.”

“Lucky for you this is a night class. The others will impose on your love life, but you know I don’t mess around when it comes to your education. You’re lucky I don’t say a word about you not putting that engineering degree to use at work. You could do so much better than Henley Construction. If you’re not going to waste time on women, put that precious time to good use and better yourself. Go eat, I’m heading home.”

“Yes ma’am. I’ll see you Sunday.”

I gave Adira a hug and walked her to the front door. I let out a heavy breath as I stared at the pamphlet in my hands. Go back to school? Even if it’s a night class, I don’t know if I’d have the time. My schedule is packed as it is. It hasn’t been for years. I have more important things to think about than women and school.

I headed up the stairs toward my room and made a stop at the room at the end of the hall. I stood there for a moment with my hand on the doorknob. I could go on to a big company as an engineer and make a lot more money, but that would mean less time at home and that’s not something I’m willing to sacrifice.  The same went for dating. Sure women were interested when they saw me, but then they got to know my situation and that’s when things go downhill.

I turned the knob and peeked my head in the room, smiling at the sight in front of me. “I thought you were asleep,” I teased.

“I was waiting for you.”

I swung the door open and opened my arms. They ran to me and threw their arms around my neck. “Ah, I missed you today.” They’re the reason I’ve stood still while the world around me zoomed forward. I needed to stay behind so they could walk by my side.

“I missed you too.” He’s the most important person in my life. “Daddy.”