“Dad, you’re not doing it right,” Ryan laughed as he pointed at the poorly folded paper in my hands.

“Oh, sorry, bubs. I guess I missed a step,” I chuckled.

“How does an engineer not know how to fold a paper airplane?” Theo exhaled from the couch.

“Uncle Theo, it’s ok,” Ryan insisted. “Daddy always says it’s ok to make mistakes. He says we don’t always have to be the best at everything.”

“That’s absolutely correct, son.” I smiled and pulled my little mini me into a big hug. “Alright, show your old man how to do it right.”

Ryan sat crossed legged in front of me as he unfolded and flattened my paper airplane. He was so excited to teach me how to do something, I just listened with a smile on my face. I could listen to this kid for hours. It’s been three weeks since I started my robotics class and my schedule has been so packed I barely find time to sleep. The first week, I got home so late after class, Ryan had already eaten dinner, bathed, and gone to bed. If he was awake, I would shower and pass out in my bed, but he felt so bad for waking me he literally tip-toed around the house. I finally told him that no matter what time it was or how tired I seemed, I would always have time for him.

“You do this, then this and…tada!” Ryan exclaimed excitedly as he held up the unevenly folded airplane.

“I think that’s the greatest airplane ever made,” I stated matter-of-factly. “Right, Theo?”

“Eh, it’s alright,” Theo shrugged without looking up from his book.

“Don’t listen to him, Ry. He’s just jealous he can’t make such an amazing airplane.”

“Oh yes, I’m extremely jealous that I can’t fold a piece of paper and throw it across the room.”

“But Uncle Theo, this flies,” Ryan explained as he got to his feet and stood next to Theo. “This is going to fly all the way across the house.”

Theo stared at my son as if he had just spoken another language. He obviously didn’t believe him. To be honest, I wasn’t sure how that haphazardly folded paper would get very far. One of the wings was lopsided and the other was ripped. Not to mention the nose of the plane looked like it had been jammed into the floor. If he was lucky, Ryan’s plane would make it maybe a yard. But I, like Theo, wasn’t going to break the news to him.

“Alright, Squirt, I’ll buy you ice cream every day for a year if that thing makes it across the house,” Theo bet in his own subtle way of saying there was no chance of that happening.

Ryan nodded. He stuck his tongue out of one side of his mouth and squinted as he concentrated on the task at hand. Other than the silly face, he had an aura of confidence surrounding him. You could tell there was no doubt in his mind that he was going to succeed. I have no idea where he got this confidence. Annie wasn’t the glass-half-full type. She always found the negative aspects of a situation. Not that I’m much better, I’m always second guessing myself and overthinking. I can’t even talk to a woman without getting nervous. If Annie hadn’t made the first move all those years ago, Ryan wouldn’t be here to be making paper airplanes.

I held my breath as Ryan prepared to throw his paper airplane. To my surprise, the misshapen plane took flight. It was a rough flight, but it glided through the air until it miraculously came to a stop on the other side of the house. Theo’s jaw dropped as he stared in disbelief. There’s no logical explanation to how that made it all the way across the house, but it did.

“That’s my boy!” I cheered as I chuckled in disbelief.

Ryan smiled proudly, “See Uncle Theo, just because it’s not perfect doesn’t mean we shouldn’t give it a chance.”

“What are you, a fortune cookie?” Theo sighed as he put his book down. “Do it three times in a row and I’ll get you that electric car your dad said you can’t have.”

“YAY!” Ryan yelled as he ran across the house to get the plane.

“Wait!” I chuckled as I tried to catch him but ended up tipping over my own feet. I let out a groan as I laid on my back and stared up at my friend. “Please don’t get that car. He’s got enough crap it fills his bedroom and the playroom. It’s bad enough when you get him candy, it’s only blue M&Ms.”

“It’s fun to irritate you,” Theo teased. He walked over to me and held out his hand to help me up.

“Appreciate it,” I joked. “Why are you here anyway?”

“Nico got called in to train the new part-timer. I figured I’d come over since I gotta watch the munchkin while you’re in class. Speaking of which, any progress with that chick?”

I let out a heavy sigh and rubbed the back of my neck. I’ve tried to talk to Dani a few times since that disastrous first day but haven’t had much luck connecting with her. The first week and a half I couldn’t push past my nerves and gather the courage to talk to her. To avoid Jeff’s tricks again, I would pack up and leave class immediately. By the time our last class of the second week rolled around, I finally bit the bullet and tried to greet her. Her response was colder than I thought it would be, making me wonder if she thought I was avoiding her.

Ok, I was, but not because I had an issue with her. Truth be told, I’ve never really wooed a woman before. I wouldn’t know what to say to a woman I’m interested in. I don’t know how to act around them. I made a fool of myself once and that was enough for a lifetime. There is a one-hundred percent chance that I would make a fool of myself in front of Dani. She’s beautiful, smart, and makes me feel things I never have and other things that I should be ashamed of. My heart skipped a beat when she was around, but I couldn’t even look her in the eye.

“I should have known you’d chicken out,” Theo sighed. “I bet you’d talk to her if you were drunk.”

“Because that’s a good look,” I sighed. “I’ll figure it out in my own time.”

“You can’t avoid women forever.”

Not this again. I shook my head as I picked up the crumpled pieces of paper off the floor. “For the last time, Theo, I’m not avoiding women. Didn’t I go on those blind dates after…” I looked across the house to be sure that Ryan was out of earshot, “…after Annie left. For months, you guys set me up and I went on every one of them. I talked to them, took them to dinner, I even held some of their hands…”

“Not the hand holding! How scandalous,” Theo feigned shock.

“Anyway, it’s not that I can’t talk to women. If I couldn’t, I wouldn’t have Ryan running around throwing paper across the house.”

“Didn’t she approach you?”

“Yea, but…we still talked. More like yelled, but it still counts.”

“So, what’s different about this woman?”

I thought about how I could answer him without just saying ‘she just is’. But she was. As cheesy as it sounds, I fell in love with her the moment I saw her. I couldn’t tell Theo that though. He wasn’t the hopeless romantic type like I am. He scoffed at the idea of ‘love at first sight’. You can’t really love someone you don’t know. I just know deep down that she’s different.

“I don’t know,” I shrugged with a laugh. “She stirs things up in me I didn’t think was possible.”

“I hope you don’t abuse yourself thinking about a woman you can’t even talk to.”

“Dude, you know we can hear you from over here, right?” Mateo asked as he walked into the room carrying Ryan and bags of fast food.

“What does abuse mean, Uncle Matty?” Ryan asked.

“Ask your dad.”

“Y-you don’t need to know that” I stammered.

“Here,” Mateo said as he put Ryan down and handed Theo the paper bags. “You feed the kid since you got him asking questions.”

“I’m just trying to prepare him for the future. He’ll need to know these things one day,” Theo noted.

“Not when he’s four,” I said.

“Stil having girl issues?” Mateo asked.

“He scared to talk to her!” Theo yelled from the table as he set Ryan’s food out. 

“Don’t be scared, daddy,” Ryan said. “You’re the best daddy and you can make friends with anyone if you try.”

“Yea, Dad,” Theo mocked. “Just try.”

“You’re right. I should give it a shot.” I sat next to Ryan and ruffled his hair. “What do you do when you want to be friends with someone?” I asked.

Ryan scrunched his face as he thought about my question. He took a bite of his chicken nugget and tapped on his chin, “Well, first, I say hello.”

“Perfect start. What if they don’t say hi back?”

“Then you try again. You can’t give up, daddy. If you want to be friends, you have to try. After they say hi back, tell them something about them you like – like they have a nice shirt.”

“Probably shouldn’t stare at her chest, bro,” Mateo teased as he nudged me with his elbow. “But tell me how big it is first.” I shot him a glare, warning him to behave.

“Then you hug and hold hands and you’re best friends!”

“See, it’s simple,” Theo teased. “You just need to hug her lying down. That’ll fix about ninety percent of your problems.” The next death stare was shot at Theo. These damned brothers can be so irritating.

Ryan stood on his chair and grabbed my face. “Daddy, listen to me, you have to do your best to make good friends. You’re the best daddy in the world so that means you’ll be the best friend in the world.”

I couldn’t help but smile at my son. “How can someone so young and little be so smart?” I asked.

“Because I’m just like you, daddy! I get my big brain from you!”

“If you’re lucky, you’ll get other big things from him too,” Theo joked.

“Like I’ll be tall?”

“Yea, let’s go with that,” Mateo laugher.

“Please stop talking to my son,” I said as I covered Ryan’s ears.

I wrapped my arms around the chubby mini version of myself and gave him a good squeeze. He has all the best parts of me. Smart, witty, and damn good-looking if you ask me. I just hope to God that he didn’t also get the bad parts of me. The lack of confidence, feeling not good enough, the anxiety, feeling like a failure…I may lack in many things, but I’ll never let my son feel that way.

I spent the next few hours doing whatever Ryan wanted. We went out to the backyard so he could ride his bike for a bit. When he got bored of that, we played a little bit of basketball with Theo and Mateo. For a four-year-old, he wasn’t half bad at shooting. Once he tired himself out, it was about time for me to get ready for class. After I helped Ryan bathe, he insisted that I read to him before I left.

“Are you sure you want to get ready for bed so soon? It’s only four,” I reminded my son as I helped him into his pajamas.

“I’m sure,” he said matter-of-factly. “I’ll be sleeping when you get home so I want to have a pre-bedtime story with you.”

“Alright, bud, go pick a book.” I smiled as I watched him run to his bookshelf. He came back with a book I didn’t even know we had. “The Fall of the Wibbly Wobbly Tower. I’ve never seen this one.”

“I saw it at the bookstore and Ms. Adira got it for me.”

It’s just like her to get him whatever he wanted. “We’ll have to thank her next time she comes over. Up we go little man.”

Ryan giggled as I lifted him up and put him under his blanket. “Hey dad?”

“What is it, buddy?” I asked as I sat beside him in bed. He always had a smile on his face brimming with joy, but right now he looked almost troubled. “Ryan, what’s wrong?”

He looked away for a moment and when he looked back up at me, he had his signature smile plastered on his face. “Oh, nothing. I just wanted to say I love you.”

I knew there was more to it, but I didn’t want to pry. He’ll tell me when he’s ready. I won’t make him feel like he can’t express his feelings or has to keep things from me. I won’t let him feel the way I did with my father. “I love you too, son.”

He must have been tired from everything we did today because he struggled to keep his eyes open. Half-way through the book, he was completely passed out. He looks just like he did when he was a baby. Chubby, pinchable cheeks, drool coming out of the corner of his mouth, and dino pjs that I should probably size up for him. I’ll never know how someone could leave someone as sweet and innocent as Ryan. I leaned down and placed a soft kiss on his forehead before shutting the curtains and exiting the room as quietly as I could.

“I’m telling you now, he’s going to be pissed,” Mateo warned. He was trying not to be too loud, but I could still hear him as clear as day. It seemed like a conversation I wasn’t meant to hear so I paused a few steps from the bottom of the staircase.

“I’ll put that fire out when the time comes,” Theo brushed his brother off as if he didn’t take his warning seriously at all. “You just need to keep your mouth shut. You’re always snitching on me.”

“Because he gets pissed at me for not telling him! Please, think of your baby brother for once.”

“You’ll be fine Matty.”

“When he goes berserk, don’t come running to me. Or Nico. Leave my brother-in-law out of your schemes.”

“Please, my husband is more mischievous than me. If we went with his ideas, we’d be in deep shit…and probably jail.”

“Sometimes I wonder how I’m related to you.”

“Well, we are half-brothers.”

“I’m glad I didn’t get the crazy half.”

“It wouldn’t kill you to be my brother for once.”

“Not this again.”

“I’m just saying. You treat my best friend more like a brother than you do me. I wonder what he would think if he found out about you and…”

“Keep your mouth shut! Nothing happened so there’s no reason to rile anyone up.” Mateo let out a groan followed by his heavy footsteps heading in my direction.

“Alright guys,” I said loudly as if I was just coming down the stairs, “I’m on my way out.”

“Already? It’s kinda early.”

“Yea, well, Ryan’s taking a nap, so I figured I’d grab some coffee on the way. Wake him up in about half an hour or he won’t sleep tonight. No sweets with dinner either.”

“You’re such a party pooper,” Theo groaned as he plopped on the couch.

“I swear to God, if there are blue fingerprints all over my couch again, I’ll kill you.”

“I’ll keep an eye on both of them,” Mateo reassured.

“Thanks.” I went to pick up my backpack and noticed something was off. I could have sworn I zipped it to the side, not the top. I’m just over thinking things again. I shouldn’t be so paranoid. “Phone’s on. Call if Ryan needs me.”

“Would you just leave already? We’ve got things handled here. If you don’t hurry to the coffee shop, you’ll be late for school.”

“Yea, yea. I’m leaving.”