Still trying to hide my face as much as possible with my hood and clinging on the plastic with my dear life, I did follow him. I stayed at a close distance behind him. Because I looked at the floor, I mostly did follow his shoes and the pull of his hand.

We walked for not even 100 meters, when he took out the keys from his jacket and opened the door of a flat. I stayed on the doorstep because I did hesitate. If I was to discover that I was an omega, I would rather not it to be by being sexually assaulted. Is that why he didn’t take me by force to his work or the police station? 

I gathered the courage to enter behind him with a churning stomach. Not sure if it was because of the stress or this unidentified illness.

Maybe, just maybe, I’d rather be here to discover it than the police station with my parents.

I noticed he didn’t lock the door behind, which reassured me. It was a messy one room apartment. I didn’t pay much attention to anything though.

He took the bag from my hand. I reflexively grabbed it harder and he just put his hand in it to retrieve the test "Take it now. The bathroom is here" He showed me the only door (besides the front one) in the flat.

When I didn’t answered and only insisted « Go »

I went in and followed the instructions on the box. Quite simple, similar to a pregnancy test just with different proteins. I washed my hands and went out with the test. The results weren’t available yet, they needed a few minutes.

And I definitely needed them to.

"If it is positive what should I do? I don't have anything" I looked up, from the sofa I was waiting on,  without thinking because I was full of nerves. I immediately looked back down. I hoped he hadn’t seen my face.

"Going to the doctor" He simply responded

"I can't" I almost whispered

"Everyone is like this at first but-" His tone was reassuring, almost pitiful.

"I really can't!" I yelled, clenching my fists. I wouldn’t be disowned, I would be completely rejected by my family and my entire neighborhood. All the people that I had known all my life. 

All the people that made my life, my life. 

I wouldn’t ruin it over something as stupid as this.

He took the plastic bag I had tried to steal and searched for another item, a box of pills. He took a few out of it, put them in a tissue and gave them to me.

"Take this. One a day, and take the first one now. This is a temporary solution to conceal it, while you make up your mind. I gave you seven of them" He explained "You're not supposed to do that, so you have one week to tell your guardians"

"If the test is positive" I insisted, because he seemed to rule out the possibility of me not needing it at all.

I took one pill dryly.

"Right," He answered, clearly convinced I was being delusional.

"Can I go?" I clumsily asked, I was really awkward and wanted to be apprised of my fate quickly. My family would probably come back to the hostel soon and I needed to be there when they did.

"The money" He showed me his hand

"Ah – yes" I took out all I had in my wallet and gave it to him. He took some of them and gave me a bit back. I didn’t know how this did cost so he could have robbed me. Not that I would have said anything if this meant he wouldn’t tell on me.

I went back to the hostel with the test in my pocket, the result was probably out by now but I was a nervous wreck, feeling sick and I didn’t want to discover it in the middle of the street.

For this reason, once I arrived at the hostel I went to the restroom on the ground floor near the reception, not the one in our rented apartment.

Before anything, I sat on the toilet and looked online. I wanted to delay it and rush it at the same time. Apparently these kinds of tests weren’t sensitive, more than 40% came out negative when they are actually not. Even if it’s negative, in case of important doubts it is recommended to do a blood test.

After this, I took a leap of courage. I opened my pocket and reached the well-tissued test. I removed the tissue and didn't look at it. I stared at the door and started crying, already envisioning the worse.

Finally, I lowered my eyes to it.

My heart dropped,

And there is a certainty,

I wouldn't need the blood test.

I throw it in the bin, go out of the bathroom and almost run to my room. My bad luck carried on because my family was in front of the door and they immediately panicked upon seeing me. I must have looked like a mess, I feel physically terrible, I am crying and my nose is picking.

"I broke up with Selie" I immediately find as an excuse. I needed one that wouldn’t have them taking me to the hospital. Selie and I had been dating for two months, my parents had never seen her and it wasn’t that serious. We were long distance and our relationship was already going sour.  I will break up with her today, we would have broken up soon anyways. It honestly wasn’t going to make me sad, and it certainly wouldn’t be my current concern.

Hopefully, they seemed to buy it and just monitored me until our departure the following day. On our way back, I reached as an habit in my pocket only to come in contact with the pills in the tissue. Considering I had already taken one, my 6 remaining pills

I had thought about it. I got underestimated.

The pharmacist was wrong, the pills weren't a sign of the countdown to tell them but to find a solution to hide it forever.

I would never ruin my life by telling them.