|O, our poor, poor sacrificial godbuns in our agonizing season.

We gave our people the stars, we gave our people careers.

And yet, it's never enough. They ask for more, more.

Never thinking for themselves.

Why, o why is this so?

We guide them to the path they seek,

But, they can't ever seem to think.

Our people's needs

Keep growing exponentially.

O, our poor, poor, sacrificial godbuns,

What is a deity to do,

When the world keeps coming with a full water bowl

Expecting some more?

It's overflowing, 

And they just can't see.

Are our people blind?

Very much so, they don't use their eyes to seek.

O, our poor, poor godbuns of giving and no receive.

What will it take for something to break the wheel

That keeps spinning?

The pleas pile up and keep rotting.

What's a deity to do 

When the pleasure to give is dying?

Our people keep demanding for more,

With their heads empty galore.

We descend as they please,

Give them everything they seek.

When will the demands end?

We do not know, so to speak!

O, our poor, poor, godbuns of pain and writhing agony,

What can be done to change this system of endless giving?

Careers given to thee,

Expectations are higher than last century.

Why, o why is this so?

We are at a loss of where to go.

In this season of monstrosity,

Change must happen immediately!|

Chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp.

Finding himself on the cold, crunchy hay beneath him, the vampa tried to recall what just happened. Everything flowing back immediately, the young adult's fist became one with the ground. Why, why did that godbun deem him Unhapbu? Why was this the divine name he had been blessed with, why?

Tap, tap, tap, tap.

Fists plopping down on the ground, the bun held back the tears. No, there is no way he'll accept this fate. No way, not happening. There's no way he'll let himself be called Unhappy Bunny! Surely, there was a way to get this ceremony redone. Yes, of course, that had to have been possible! Some LopVampas got a renaming ceremony right? Surely, that had to be the case.

Tap, tap, tap, tap.

Hay ready to slice through his hands, a tired laugh burst through the young adult's lips. Unhappy Bunny, seriously, he had the worst luck, didn't he? Just what about him was unhappy? Nothing was, that's for sure. This was a dream, right? Yes, of course, he was still in his room, sleeping, haha, of course, that's all. Just pre divine name ceremony titters before the real thing. Nails beside his wrist he clamped down.

Intense pain taking the vampa away, the young adult hissed. This was real, alright. No, perhaps this was a hyper vivid nightmare, yes, that's all this was. Haha, silly him falling asleep thinking about the divine naming ceremony, he sure had done it now. It's about time he woke up and got it together, here goes, three, two, one.

Poof.

But, such thoughts had been interrupted as a familiar blinding light overtook the barn once more. Oh, no, is he stuck in a looping dream? This is bad, very bad. Well, he'd better wake up right now and end this dumb little loop before it's too late. Here it goes, three, two, one, come on, Siorc, wake up, stop sleeping.

"Dear me, thou still thinks thee is dreaming," Divisee said with a tired sigh. "Face reality. This is your true name."

Smirk painting the divine's face, the vampa folded his hands into a fist. Face reality? No way, no happening. He refuses to accept this fate! There's no way he'll let himself be called unhappy! He wants a redo, right now! But, how would he be able to get such? Reaching for the Talkmaster B, his hands turned the knobs rapidly.

Palms shaking as the knobs turned, the young adult tried to keep his hands steady. Large, jaggedy bubble appearing on the scream, an angry little bunny hopped inside it. Big finger pointing, steam had been added to the bun's ears. Words ready to pour out of the device, he tried to hold back on some choice words for the time being.

[No! I refuse to accept this name! I'm not unhappy! Every single day, I work on the farm, take care of the chickens, chase away vermin! My destiny was right there right in front of me!] A cracked, high pitch voice read out of the Talkmaster B's speakers. He then scribbled some more. [Please, can we do the ceremony over? I'll give you all the mangos you could ever ask for!]

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Boom, crackle, crackle, crash.

God guffawing up a storm, the room grew dark. No, why, why are they laughing? What do they find so hilarious about all this? This is his destiny here! His fate, and they find this funny? This will be his true name forever now. No, he can't allow that outcome. Laugh getting louder, the divine wiped their cheek.

"Oh, you sad, sad, poor, Unhapbu," Divisee said between tears. "This is your name now, deal with it. Sorry, no redoes! This is who you are now, just face it."

Cold hands extended to him, the bun's ears twitched up above. No, this can't possibly be. Maybe he needs to try again, word it differently? Yes, yes, that's it, maybe he should be a little more polite and he'll be willing to do it again. Should he get down on his knees? That seemed appropriate. Here goes.

Dropping down onto his knees, the young adult clapped his hands together, o, divine godbuns above, please he is oh, so begging, please hear him out! Surely, this has to work, right? Keeping such pose for a moment, the laugher continued. Was this not going to work either? Ah, no, he really is done for. Lifting himself off, he turned the knobs upon the Talkmaster B once more.

[Please, Divine Seed Bunny, I humbly beg of you as a mere mortal to do redo the divine naming ceremony! Please, can you find the kindness in your heart to try one more time? There's no way this judgement of yours was the right call!] A static voice read out of the Talkmaster B.

Ha, ha, ha, ha.

"You can keep begging all you like, but I won't be giving you a different divine name," Divisee said, voice cold. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some tea to get to. Bye, bye, see you during your job ceremony in the coming fortnights."

Poof.

Chill clinging to the barn, everything felt so empty, dry, alone. Was he really stuck like this with this divine name? Forget it, there's no way he's going to call himself Unhapbu no matter what! He'll tear that divine name up into a million pieces. Stomping out of the barn, the young adult dragged himself off towards his quiet place.

Rotting tree beside him, the tears fell, reality sinking in. Every single day for the past ninety five years, he farmed, he prayed; he was a good, well behaved bun like mama always told him to be. Is this his punishment? Was he an easy target? Maybe he was. Waterworks continuing, the world burned.

Feeling a tap on his shoulder after who knows when, the vampa looked up. Swanbu, excuse him, Zhulong, and Niquel wearing party hats, the young adult turned away. Please, can they take those things off? What is there to celebrate? Nothing, that's what. They can go back home now. Consider the rest of this day over.

"We heard the godbun's announcement," Zhulong said in a soft tone. "Are you alright, Siorc?"

"Honestly, I can't believe they'd bestow such a name on you," Niquel said, shaking her head. "Maybe Divisee was tired today."

Shaking his head, the young adult stared off into space. If this was because the godbun was tired, why couldn't they have sent down another? He knew that Divisee was the overseer of Seeboro, but, come on, now! If he didn't want to do his job, he could have sent any of the other gods! Any! Too late for that now, though.

[Am I alright? No, not at all. He named me Unhappy Bunny! Unhapbu! I won't accept this!] The cracking voice through the Talkmaster B shouted.

"I knew I was right when I told you to assume the worst," Zhulong said, sighing. "Did you try calling Divisee to come back?"

[I did! I asked for a redo, but he refused! He laughed at me! He guffawed in my face and told me to deal with it!] The cracking voice through the Talkmaster B shouted. As the voice finished, he tried to hide the tears, but such didn't work. Ah, no, he can't weep again, not like this! Get it together, Siorc!

"It's alright to cry, you know," Niquel said in a calm tone, eyes closed. "You were waiting your whole life for this, and that god gave you such a name." She then looked away towards the sky. "Divine Seed Bunny has gotten pretty cold lately, hasn't he?"

"Definitely." Zhulong nodded.

Wiping the tears away, the ceremony played through his head one more time. He bestows upon thee, the epithet Unhappy Bunny. Haha, ha ha ha, unhappy. As if he's unhappy! Pumping his fists together, the bun could feel fire flowing through his eyes. Tomorrow, he'll summon that god again! They'll see, there's an error in that judgement of theirs! A major whoops, a cut that needs a bandage.

[Maybe if I summon them again tomorrow, they'll have to redo my divine naming ceremony!] The cracking voice through the Talkmaster B cried.

"Well, sure, it's worth a shot," Niquel said, shrugging. "Let's go pick the apples tomorrow and offer them to Divisee and have them come back."

[But don't you two have your jobs?] The cracking voice through the Talkmaster B asked.

"Not at the moment, no, we took the week off," Zhulong said, shaking his head. "So, it's fine, we don't mind helping out." He then extended his hand. "Alright, let's get you to the picnic table, your family is waiting for you."

Grabbing his friend's hand, the sea of thoughts kept on wandering. Maybe the divine were just tired today, that's all. That had to have been it, right? If he summons them again tomorrow, he'll just see for himself. Reaching the picnic table, his cake had been waiting for him, looking ready to explode.

"Congratulations, Unhapbu," Deigr said. "How does it feel to have your true name?"

"Congratulations," Strix said, but his hands were on the side of his face, instantly. "Oh, no, you don't look very happy. Are you unsatisfied with your true name gifted to you by the gods?!" His mouth dropped open. "Oh, no."

Congratulatory messages coming his way, the young adult folded his fist behind him. Congratulations? Congratulations?! No, absolutely not, this is not the time to be celebrating! This is the time for fire, for burning! Did they even hear what that godbun said his divine name was? Maybe neither of them were actually listening.

[Please, don't call me Unhapbu! I won't accept that name!] The static voice cried through the Talkmaster B.

"I figured you'd say that," Strix said. "So, what do you plan to do about it?"

"Silly Stresha, the gods have decided," mama said. "Unhapbu is his true name now, forever and always!"

"You sure about that?" Deigr asked mama.

"Positive!" She clapped her palms together.

Meteor ready to take him out into space, the shovel had begun to dig him into his grave. The gods have decided, this is his life now. Why did mama have to say that? She's just going to accept it? Please, she has to fight! Why can't she do that? Ah, forget it, tomorrow, she'll go straight back to the capital, and he won't see her again for who knows how long?

[I'll just summon Divisee again tomorrow! He'll have to listen to me!] The crackling voice out of the Talkmaster B cried.

"I don't know about that, honey," mama said. "But, it's worth a try!" She then removed the cover off the cake. "Okay, birthday bun, you ready for some cake?"

Cake laid out in front of him, the vampa nibbled away. Tears streaming down his face, everything burned. These cherries, why did they taste so bitter today? Returning to his room and bidding his friends farewell, the bun plopped onto his bed. Sea of questions ready to rip his head off and replace it with a rotten pumpkin, everything hurt.

The gods, did they deem him unhappy for a good old laugh? What did he do to deserve this? What's next, they'll deem him their little plaything as his job? Please, no, don't do that! Anything but that. When the job ceremony occurs in the coming weeks or so, please just let him be a farmer forever.

Reaching for a paddleball, the rumbles within continued. Is this what he gets for farming every single day of his life since as long as he could remember? Perhaps. But, why? Why couldn't they have picked any other divine name? He would have taken anything, really. Anything else at all. Divisee, is he listening? He would have accepted anything else close to Farmbu!

Slam.

Creature smacking right into his eyes, the young adult groaned. Was that the godbun's gift to him, too? Turning off towards the other side of his bed, the ocean of thoughts was ready to drown him once more. Was it because the farm had been littered with pests lately? Maybe so. If he had gotten rid of the strawrats sooner, maybe this wouldn't have happened. Perhaps, this was all his fault.

But, the bun could not help but recall something. He had been hearing time and time again other Lopvampas who had recently reached their one hundredth birthday had also gotten their fair share of undesired true names. Was this a new trend? He needed to think, how many cases did he hear of this on the news?

Thinking back, the vampa's hands were out in front of him. But, in an instant, all his fingers had been used up. Was there really that many news reports about this? Maybe he was mistaken. He had to have been, right? Maybe he had misheard when he was half asleep on the couch. That has to be it. He just misheard while dozing off, totally.

Shaking his head, the farmer continued to slap the ball upward. No, there was no way he misheard any of that. He had most certainly heard such a news story countless times before over and over again recently. Why is this getting so frequent lately? Were any other buns rejecting their fate? No, probably not. Sigh.

Creak.

Door opening, the bun groaned. What could anyone possibly want from him now? His birthday is cancelled now, sorry. Can he just be left alone? Can he just wallow in here for the rest of his life? Please, don't bother reaching out, there's nothing left to say anymore. Feet hopping towards him, he pulled his ears down. What does mama want?

"Honey, I know you probably want to leave you alone right now, but let's talk, okay?" mama asked.

Curling inward, the young adult tried to not laugh. Talk? Talk about what? There's nothing to talk about anymore. Is she going to try to convince him to accept this divine name bestowed upon him? Nope, no thanks, he's good. What, is she going to tell him she was called Devastated Bunny or something? Ha ha, as if. Talkmaster B laid out in front of him, the knobs were in his hand.

Steamed face scribbled onto the screen, the farmer sighed. Was that a little too heated? Perhaps. Shaking the device, he tried again, maybe a pouty face would do. No, that wouldn't fit at all for this situation, would it? Closed eyed bunny huffing a sigh, the robotic words bled out of the device all at once.

[Forget it mama, there's nothing to talk about! Please leave!] Crackling words shouted through the Talkmaster B.

Slam.

Door shut, the bun crawled up into a ball. Dozing off, he could feel the fire ready to burn within. He'll summon Divisee again tomorrow morning, they can't escape him!