Roger Barr

It was as if God himself prescribed me with a heartache medicine, the pain of losing her was almost gone— the world was starting to feel normal again. Meeting the Johnsons was what I needed, especially Paige. She was a ray of sunshine, a best friend I never knew I needed. The boys helped but she was my push.

“What got you smiling like an idiot?” Milo glanced at me weirdly before focusing back on the road, judging at my sudden outburst of laughter. “Look at this,” I showed him my phone just as he pulled into a stop. Paige sends me random videos almost every day. “She’s too active at night,” he whistled at the numbers she had sent me just last night for me to discover the next day. “She’s a true night owl.” Despite managing the restaurant, she tends to overuse her phone in bed, which she often complains about.

I chuckled at her determination of going offline but managing one of the most amazing restaurants in the city, it was challenging. On her public page, she would post about what was happening and events to look out for. Sometimes, videos of her cooking challenge with their chefs. On her private page, she sends me silly videos that caught her eyes or just made her cry of laughter.

“Thanks for dropping me off,” I took off the seatbelt and got off in front of a very familiar place. My eyes scanned the people inside, “You sure, you’re not joining?” I looked back at Milo.

“Yeah, I have a meeting in an hour but I’ll swing by later,” he looked at his watch. “Before the cake?” I teased his sweet-tooth, in which he winked and zoomed off. Milo was a close colleague before he switched jobs to freelancing, he was a hotshot in the media world. What started as a hobby became his life’s work.

It has been two years since that Christmas party, my relationship with the Johnsons was surreal. We would frequently hang-out and rang each other up for mundane things— karaoke was one of them, Rui just loves to pour his soul out. Sweet Melody was built as a cafe but soon they were running as a restaurant. Maintaining their sweet-dessert-root while upgrading their menu with dine-ins. I tend to bring my clients there and spend my lazy evening with their dinner menus.

Today the restaurant was closed due to the reservation for a little princess. Fairy lights hung around the top as if the restaurant was raining with golden pixie dust and yellow daffodil-shaped balloons were decorated around the place.

“Hey, Roger,” a friend of Janey greeted me as I came in. “Hey Clare,” I smiled back, she was one of the friends Janey tried to introduce me to at her baby bash party. “Have you seen Janey around?” I asked her and she pointed me towards the back.

“Roger!” My neck whiplashed to that voice. “Mom! Dad!” I was surprised to see both of my parents, who told me they weren’t coming, were standing a few feet from me with a very mischievous grin on their faces.

“Surprise!” I embraced them. “It was your mother’s idea,” dad confessed and mom backfired with her witty remark. “Please, you were the one who wanted to come. I only said that it should be a surprise for Roger.”

“Your father, here, just can’t be separated from his best friend for too long,” mom grumbled about how senseless he had become. “James this, James that,” she added.

“When does he remember me, you asked?” She gave dad the side-eye. “When he wants to talk about his little adventure with James,” she huffed. “Nat, I’m not the only one who is guilty in this relationship,” dad was starting to show his guns.

“You’ve been spending as much time with James as I have. You’ve been knitting and trying random recipes,” he reminded her while softly pinching her cheek. Their love language just warms me up inside. “I’m offended that you didn’t come here because you missed your one and only son,” I joined in their love banter.

“Oh honey, we miss you everyday,” mom pulled me into her hug and dad agreed with ruffling my hair just like the old days. “I miss you guys too. Especially your cooking but not the work around the house,” I joked.

“Uncle Woder!” another voice pulled my attention away and the most adorable fairy just ran towards me with her wings fluttering by the speed, Rui right behind her. “Fairy Rina, happy birthday.” She squeezed into my embrace and I tickled her with my kisses. She giggled until she had enough, she held my face and said the most adorable warning. “Uncle Woder stop,” her eyes turned sharp.

“Okay,” I let out between my squished cheeks. She nodded and gave me a peck. I greeted Rui. Janey found us in the crowd, she was struggling a bit from her second pregnancy. We chatted away while we waited for Paige. She was at the back with the employees. “James’s trying to pull her away,” Janey said.

“She worries because she wants to make everything perfect but it’s already perfect,” she added. “Finally, I have saved the people from their queen bee,” James came, pulling Paige to join us.

“Have a drink,” Rui handed a glass of sparkling apple juice. Everything served was child-friendly but still looked luxurious for adults. “I’m just making sure,” she took a sip.

It was time for the birthday cake to make an appearance, all the kids gathered around the cake while the fairy of the day took a stand on top of a stool. Eagerly waiting for her moment, her body trembled with excitement as Rui had to hold her in place because she was starting to jump.

“Hey Paige,” Milo stood beside me. Paige waved in response as she was recording everything. I had a few pictures taken but I’ll make sure to ask for the videos later. Everyone sang, the kids were screaming but in harmony with the adults. Rina straight-away blew her candles once finished while everyone clapped and cheered.

The waiters handed out cake to everyone. “This is amazing,” Milo moaned at his first bite. “Sweet Melody’s cake never disappoints,” he remarked at Janey. She thanked him before Paige came looking a bit pale, she whispered something before excusing themselves to the back.

All of a sudden, I had a bad feeling when I saw Paige’s expression before the door closed behind her. I was playing with my fork, my eyes still on the door. Milo was conversing with a few of the crowds. He tried to pull me in but my lack of attention and response made him give up. Rui helped Rina with her cake and watched over her while James entertained the guests with my parents.

“You coming?” Milo was called to me, I didn’t even notice that the party was starting to die down. A few guests had already left with hand-made cookies, I had seen Paige’s posting of them making cookies together. My parents were exhausted from their flight and the party, Milo was giving us a lift home.

We said our goodbyes to everyone and to a sleepy Rina before Milo drove away. The day was growing dark and my heart was beating worriedly. The ladies were still gone when we left, I checked my phone to see if there were any messages from Paige but it was silent.

Mom commented on their disappearance as well, “Paige was looking a bit out of it, didn’t she?” and dad agreed. “Must have been something bad,” she explained that Paige was looking at her phone before rushing over to Janey.

“Thanks Milo.” I said.

“Why don’t you come in and have coffee?” Dad offered. “I would love to. But raincheck on that coffee?” he explained that he was busy with his new project and had to burn every candle there is.

“The towels are in the drawers, the new sheets as well. There’s still toothpaste and soap in the bathroom but no shampoo. You can use mine though it won’t smell like flowers,” I put down their bags before heading off to my room.

After freshening up, I slumped onto my bed and enjoyed the sound coming from the house. The clattering from the kitchen, mom must be brewing something, and the news was on.

Remembering what happened before I left, I checked my phone again. There were no new messages. I opened Instagram, Paige hadn’t posted anything about today. I was beginning to worry because usually she would up something this special in a heartbeat but she was offline.

I sighed and messaged her, asking if she was okay.

At that moment, my phone rang— displaying Paige’s picture with Rina in their raincoats. I immediately answered. “Paige?” She didn’t say anything but I could make out soft sniffles on the other side.

Thunder suddenly struck and I could hear from her side as well, it was going to rain. “Paige, what’s wrong?” as I waited for her answer, my body was already moving to go to her. My parents looked at me as I took my keys, I mouthed out Paige. Mom looked worried when I signalled that she was crying.

“Should I call James?” Dad softly asked after lowering down the volume but I told them to hold on. As the rain came pouring, her sniffling was getting louder. Now, I know for sure that she’s crying.

“Paige, talk to me please. Where are you?” I was already in my car. My heart was beating out of my chest and my brain was imagining all the bad things that could possibly happen.

“...house,” she struggled to answer and the weather wasn’t helping. “Charles…” her voice trembled and it broke my heart. “Paige, I need you to find someplace safe. I’ll be there soon. Okay?” I waited with batting breath for her reply.

“Okay,” she crooked and I heard shuffling. She took a deep breath then the sound of a bell, she must have entered a cafe or something. I sighed in relief and she tried to tell me the name of the cafe. I knew she was fighting her feelings to cry and scream but held it in.

She was still on the line. While I cut a few cars, I heard her ordering but her voice was so vulnerable to my ears. “I’m almost there,” the navigation displayed the remaining time left. “I’ll be there in ten,” I said, not knowing if she heard me or not.

The cafe was probably full with customers as they took shelter from the rain while enjoying the comforting scent of coffee. I parked my car and almost slipped to the cafe from the slippery floor. As soon as I entered, my eyes were scanning the tables frantically for her.

Then, I saw a figure slumped on a table looking defeated while her hands wrapped around a cup. I walked towards her, pulling a chair beside her before sitting down. I laid my head down, eyes meeting hers.

We were a breath away. When she saw me, I could see her walls breaking apart. Her eyes swelled in tears and she let go of her cup before crushing into me. She was sobbing and a few turned to look.

“Let’s go,” I pulled her up, leaving the untouched chocolate.

She cried a river in the passenger seat. Thankfully, I had extra clothes in my car and gave her my hoodie to warm her up.

“Wait here,” I said and entered the cafe once again. I ordered every dessert they had and two new hot chocolates. The staff must have seen us because they were moving faster than ever. “She okay?” one of them asked and I nodded with thanks.

I put everything at the back and drove off. Home wasn’t a choice right now so I drove aimlessly around the city until we couldn’t hear any more vigorous pattering on the car. It took awhile for her to calm down. Whenever we stopped at the traffic, I would take her hand and tuck her hair away from her face.

“I’m here,” I softly said to her again and again like a broken record player.

I brought the car to a stop at a deserted park, no visitors since the rain had just stopped. It looked eery but it was quiet, the streetlamps gave the area a soft glow like an enchanted forest illuminated by random lanterns.

We didn’t talk but she was drinking the hot chocolate and taking small bites from the cakes I’ve ordered. “Thanks,” she spoke.

“Do you mind driving me home?” she asked and I started the car. “Do you want to talk about it?” I asked but she just stared outside. The city was beginning to liven up again, the street busy with visitors continuing their journey after an unexpected shower.

“Paige!” she stopped in her tracks. Her eyes were red and tired, she was sniffling from the residue of her crying. Her hair was damp and she was still in my hoodie.

“Can I come in?” I don’t want to leave her alone because I know that look. I had been here before when Tiffany left. I was in pieces and everything felt difficult.

“Not today, Roger.”

“Then, call me if you need anything. I mean anything,” she nodded and closed the elevator door. I went to my car and turned the keys, the engine roared to life again but I couldn’t drive away.

I scanned the car and saw the uneaten cakes and cookies. “She didn’t even finish her drink,” it felt untouched. I gathered everything and switched off the engine before running back to her house.

I stood there determined. I was going to beg her to let me stay. If she still declines, I’ll wait in the car. Still near her for anything. I pressed her level and waited for the machine to bring me to her.

With a chirpy ding, I let myself out. I was going to run but stopped my track when I saw a figure crouching in front of her door. “Paige?” I called out and crouched next to her. Her keys in her palm, clenched until it left a mark.

I carefully took it away and opened the door. Then, carried her inside. She let out a whimper to protest but I wasn’t going to stop. I kicked the door closed, put the stuff on the counter and made my way to her room.

“I told you to leave me alone,” her voice rasped but her fingers were clutching on my shirt. “I know,” I gently put her down on the bed. She sat upright, fingers still holding onto me. Her eyes puffed, the tears were still running down her cheeks and her lips quivered. She looked defeated.

My body moved on its own and I bent down to embrace her. “Let me stay,” I repeated in a whisper. Her body trembled before putting her head on mine, embracing me back. “Please don’t leave me,” she cried.

We stayed in each other's embrace before she went to change after I begged her. While waiting, I took a jug of water and brought it into her room. She sat down and gulped the cup till it’s empty.

The night ended with her falling asleep in my arms. Tears still rolling down her cheeks. I thought about Charles and how my heart burns to beat that guy up but for now she’s my priority.

At the back of my mind, just a thought passing through, I imagined the possibility of Tiffany being this broken when she left me. But is that even possible? The thought buried when Paige stirred next to me. Her hands never let go. I stroke her hair and peck her forehead.

“Sweet dreams.” I whispered and prayed that at least she can be happy in her dreams.