“No, she didn’t, but was afraid that I would become pregnant. So I didn’t tell her, I didn’t want her to hurt Koi.” She says with sorrow in her voice.

Hurt me? Who threatened me before I was even born?

“I understand Aunt, anyways, I came with you to protect you both. So of course I will do whatever I can to help. But I am also worried about why you didn’t even tell grandpa?”

“I didn’t tell him, because he would have started a war over what she did, and would have been killed as a threat to the royal family. Besides, I am sure that Claude is much happier without me there, he didn’t know about Koi either. And it’s not like it was a marriage out of love. It was only political. So if I ran away without telling Dad, then he wouldn't be punished.”

I see. She ran away because someone threatened me, and ran to the opposing country so that she wouldn’t be found.

She has no way of knowing that it will lead to her dying and me… well… also dying.

“I understand Aunt. I won’t ask anymore questions. I know they make you uncomfortable.”

It went quiet as Kain petted my hair while I laid in his lap.

I slowly opened my eyes to see Kain looking down at me smiling.

“Good morning Koi.” He said happily.

I rubbed my eyes. “morning B’bubba.” I say as I yawn and stretch my arm out.

He laughs softly. “After we eat a bit, we can go down to the stream to play. Would you like that?”

“Mhm.” I nod with my eyes still slightly closed.

“Alright, let’s have some bread and cookies for breakfast. Bear can eat with us.” He says while smiling and handing me the bear.

I keep forgetting that I am only a year old, but, whenever I talk to Kain, he always treats me like I don’t understand anything, not harshly, just as a big brother talking to his much younger brother.

If I don’t understand something he will explain it in a way that I would understand at my age.

One thing that I still don’t get is why it looks like mama and Brother only look around 6 years apart, but she is his aunt?

Did something happen to his parents? Or is he just here to protect us and his parents just aren't with us. 

So many questions that I can’t ask because I am too young to think of those kinds of questions.

I stand up and hug Kain, who is sitting criss-cross on the floor.

Usually I wake up from the slightest noise since I was always on edge, but he moved me off of his arm and onto his lap without waking me up.

He rubs my back while giving me a hug. 

“Time to do some morning stretches, Koi.” He grabs my hands and raises them over my head to stretch out my muscles. With my little hand holding tightly onto the bear’s arm.

“Good job, now do what I do, okay?” He releases my arms and puts his elbow behind his head and I copy him with the bear flopping along too.

“Alright, now the other side.” He then switches arms and I switch with him.

“What’s this? Are you boys doing your morning stretching?” Mama comes into the cabin.

“Mama!” I put my arms out and ran to her. 

Hugging her leg since that is the only thing I can reach.

“There is my strong little guy.” She says gently.

“Well we WERE doing stretches, come back on over her Koi, we aren’t done yet.” He scolds me while laughing.

“Mama, do stretchies? They good.” I say while looking up at her,

I like doing these stretches, it is nice being able to move my body.

“I already did my stretching earlier, but tomorrow I will wait till Koi wakes up and we can do them together.” She smiles and pats the top of my head gently.

“Okaay!” I give her a big smile and run back over to Kain, still holding my bear in my hand.

Kain laughs. “Alright Koi, sit down and spread your legs like this as far as you can.” He puts his legs into a wide V shape and I do the same, setting my bear in front of me.

“Like this?” 

“Yes, but put the bear aside for a bit so it isn’t in the way.” he says while laughing.

When Kain is laughing at me I know it is in a way where he finds things cute. 

Although other kids my actual age might think that is annoying or mean. I find it sweet, because I know the difference between someone laughing at me or with me.

Kain really is the best big brother someone like me can have, he is patient and actually takes care of me, he also is helpful to Mama, he watches over me while Mama does other things she needs to do. 

When Kain isn’t watching me Mama is so that Kain can do things he needs to do. They have such amazing teamwork that it is hard to keep up with them sometimes, and I am supposed to be the one that is hard to keep up with as the baby.

“Okaay!” I set the bear to the side of me.

“Alright, lean over and touch your toes like this.” He says as I copy him. 

“And then to the other side.”

We finish our stretches and then share the bread.

“Cookie?” I say looking at Kain.”

“Cookie after you finish your bread. Okay Koi?”

“Okaay!” 

When was the last time I ate something sweet?

I don’t even remember the taste of sugar.

I think it was right before the swarm of monsters attacked the orphanage. 

We would have sweet days, where we were given an apple each. 

Apples were so sweet but some of the kids didn’t want them because they were too hard, so they would throw them at Sally and I.

We would just laugh it off and help each other get cleaned up.

By the end of Apple seasons we would both be covered head to toe in bruises.

I was always on my toes though, I started waking up when I heard footsteps.

“Alright Koi, time for cookies.” Kain said, smiling and grabbing the cookies out of the bag.

“Yay! Cookie!” I said jumping up with my arms in the air.

Kain laughed and handed me mama’s cookie. 

Oh ya, I said that I had wanted to give it to her.

I ran over to mom. “Here you go Mama, I picked out this cookie for you.” I said giggling and smiling. 

I handed her the cookie with white icing and a large daffodil on it.

“Oh? Thank you so much baby.” She kissed my forehead. “Happy birthday my rosebud.”

She didn’t really react to the yellow flower with white icing.

Too bad, that one was the closest I could find to the Commander.

“Thank you Mama.” I give her a hug. “I love you Mama.” I then look over at Kain “I love Bubba too. Hehe.” I smile and giggle.

“We both love you too, Koi.” Mama said.

“Yes, we do. Now come get your cookie.” He pulls out a bear shaped cookie with caramel toppings for the bear’s features. “Happy Birthday Koi.”

I grab the cookie. “Thank you!”

“Now Bubba, get your cookie.”

“Yes.” He grabs out the last cookie and it has a large rose on top with a pink base.

“Pretty!” I say. “It looks like Bubba!”

He laughs “You look a lot like yours, like a little stuffed bear.”

“Hahaha, but… mama doesn’t look like her cookie.” I look at her sadly. 

Reaction time?

“It’s okay baby. This one reminds me of you.” She said.

Smooth, very smooth.

I smiled at her. “Okaay! Hehe.” 

“Alright, eat your cookie and then we will go to the stream, Koi.” Kain said

“Yes!” I say excitedly

We all finished our cookies, it was very tasty. It was salty and sweet, much better than an Apple by far.

“Okay, we are headed down to the stream, we will be back later. Let’s leave the bear with Aunt, Koi.” Kain calls for me from outside.

“Okaay! Bye Mama!” I give her a hug and set the bear down by her and run outside

“Bye boys, come back safely.” She waves from the doorway.

“Okaay!” I ran up to Kain, who was carrying a basket. I am guessing it has a towel and a change of clothes in it.

He bends down to my eye level. “Would you like to ride on my back Koi? The stream isn’t as far as the market was but it will take a little bit to get there.”

I think for a second.

I should exercise by walking a bit so I can become stronger.

“I wanna walk with Bubba!”

He smiles and stands up.

“Alright but don’t stray too far from me and watch where you step. Let’s go.”

“Yes!”

He starts walking and I follow close behind. 

Even though he is going slow, I am having trouble keeping up sometimes. Even so, when I am behind, he will stop and wait for me.

I am kind of impressed with my two year old self for being able to walk so far without falling.

We go along a dirt path alongside the river. with lots of pretty flowers on both sides.

I walk next to the flowers to look at them. There are so many different colors, but one stands out. A rose. 

It looks a lot like Kain, I wanna give it to him.

“Wait, Koi. That one has thorns, you will get hurt, don’t pick it okay?” Turns out he had noticed I stopped and was waiting for me.

“The rose is so pretty like Mama and Bubba.” I ran to him.

“Yes, but roses are dangerous, they can hurt you. Sometimes the most beautiful things in life are the most dangerous. So you must be careful.” He tells me

Somehow, I don’t think he is just talking about the flower.

“Okaay!”

He smiles and we continue down the path until we reach a clearing where the water is steady and there is a flat rock in the water to stand on. Looks like this is used by people to clean their young children by the looks of it. 

There is even somewhere to hang clothing to dry.

We are currently the only ones here. Is that why we came so early in the morning?

“Alright, time to take a bath Koi.”

“Okaay!” I grab his pants leg as he sets down the basket.

He then picks me up and sets me down with my feet on the rock in the river. Then he sits on his knees.

He starts pulling up my shirt.

“What’s this? This wasn’t here before…”

Huh? What wasn’t-

A scar on my stomach, right where the arrow went through.

“There is a scar on your tummy and back, in the same place. Do you know where it came from?”

“Nuh uh.” I shake my head.

It’s better that he didn’t know.

I wonder why those scars didn’t go away but all my others did. My body was covered in scars by the time I died. 

Some of those scars from bullying at the orphanage and others from training tirelessly on improving my fighting skills with Sally.

The scar from the knife behind my head is probably there too, but he already looks worried enough as it is, so I will keep it to myself. 

It would be right at the bottom of my hairline but he probably wouldn’t see it unless he knew to look for it so it’ll be fine.

Let’s draw his attention from it.

“Is there fishy?” I look up at him with curiosity while pointing to the water.

He smiles. “Not right now, but we can see some fishies later on.”

He still seems worried.

“What’s wrong Bubba?” I tilt my head a bit to the left and look him in the eye.

“Ah. Nothing, go ahead and sit down and I will wash your hair, you can wash yourself like I showed you before. Okay?” 

He is trying to fake a smile, but I can tell he is worried.

I would be worried too, a random scar that looks like something went right through me appeared randomly.

He is a good big brother for worrying, but I think it’ll be fine. Although I don’t know why it didn’t disappear when I came back here.

Maybe I am just in a dream and am still in that endless ocean. If I were then I am not sure there would be a way to see.

“Okaay!” I sit down on the smooth rock in the water and he hands me a cloth with a bit of soap on it and I clean myself all over while he washes my hair. 

“All done!” I say proudly and look up at him while he is behind me.

“Good job. I am done too.” He smiles.

He grabs a cup of water and pours it on my head to rinse my hair a few times.

After I am all rinsed he picks with a towel and wraps it around me covering even my hair.

“Time to get dressed, Koi.” He helps me put on my clothing and finish drying my hair.

I wonder why nobody else is here. I mean it is a pretty decent place to bathe, especially for a little kid like me. I am pretty sure I am not the only baby in the town. 

Maybe there is another, better place for them to wash up and we only came here because there was nobody going to come.

Kain has been very careful not to let anybody see my eyes… I wonder why he stopped caring about that.

He probably only does it while I am a baby, I don’t remember caring about my eyes so much when I was older.

“Koi! Do you want to help Bubba do some laundry before we head back?!”

“Yes! I want to help!” I ran over to him as he was pulling dirty clothes out of a basket.

I watch him scrub and clean laundry while I occasionally hand him a little piece of clothing.

To think a dress would be too much for me to carry with this body.

You win this time dress, but I will defeat you next time!

We spent the rest of the day cleaning laundry, then brought them home while they were still wet so we could hang them there. It took us so long to finish the laundry that it is already almost sundown. 

On the way back he carried me on his back because I was tired. So I took a nap while he walked back home. 

When I woke up, we were back at the house and the sun was going down. This was a great day indeed. 

I hope these kinds of days fill the rest of my life.

“Are you awake Koi?”

“Mhm…” I groan as I flutter my eyes open.

“It’s almost bedtime, let’s go get Bear and go to sleep. I am going to hang the laundry and then I will be inside shortly.”

“mhmm… “ I slowly nod my head. “sleepy…”

“Mhm. We can sleep soon, Koi” he laughs

The colors from the sky on the ground are so pretty, I’ve seen hundreds of sunsets but none as pretty as this one with Kain.

I close my eyes and preserve this moment in my mind. I wish it could last forever.