I’m standing atop the outer side of the magnificent and splendid bronze torus of Sigil, the highest point of the center of the multiverse. Nonetheless, I feel no greatness in my existence.

The wind flows through my hair as I ponder, staring down onto the boundless rocky plain of the Outlands. I’m writing this journal in my tongue with the light within the diamond I took from Zhentarim Market, and will continue doing so. I have written my late record on paper only for the chance that my father would like to see it, but that’s no longer necessary.

Mortals are so fragile, and incredibly so, that they disgust me. Contrariwise, immortality is so endless that it frightens me. And I, having resided where the two meet, am left in the vast sea of fearful uncertainty. I love them, these short-lived creatures, but they all die too soon.

King of Thieves sent his underlings to massacre everyone in my mansion. I believe Father already knew it before he came down to the undercity to stop Brother Chosuke. I was the second to walk through the bloodbathed wooden floor to the garden that was once my tranquil sanctuary, having brother Chosuke in my chest. There, in the pond I once loved, lay Chiyeko’s lifeless body. I lifted her to sleep peacefully upon the flaccid grass that was etched with the footsteps of murderers. After the King of Thieves was slain, brother Chosuke told me that he’s going to take care of the house and of Planar Trading Consortium. As the current head of our family, Brother Chosuke ordered me to look for Father in the Outlands.

I took the paper cranes inside my mirror out onto the floor of my father’s office and left a note telling Brother Chosuke to burn them all with Chiyeko’s body. All of a sudden, Torakoishi-san came to me from beneath Father’s desk. Seeing someone familiar in that place at that moment brought an odd kind of hope to me. I reached out my hand to pet his stone skin, then he made a strange noise before regurgitating a peculiar glass bead on the floor. I identified it just now: a Soul Bead, for containing a piece of someone’s soul… and it can resurrect people? I can hear Akiko-san’s sweet voice within it, or at least a part of her that’s kept in my memory. I don’t know what to make of it yet, and thinking is taking too much of my time already. As comforting as this solitude is, I’ll need to continue on my journey very soon.

Father is also a mere mortal, as vulnerable as any mundane creature. I should have understood it sooner. He is not a delphar, whose commands are ultimata made with minds that have existed for eons before any mortals could comprehend their youngest thoughts. I shouldn’t have surrendered myself so completely, for all of us bear consequences. I didn’t come here just to be a slave to another entity’s will. I will live for myself. My life is no longer bound to my father’s words.

Freedom is such a dilemma. I wish for it, still, I find it daunting. Misery is swirling inside me. Oh, I don’t even have a heart to contain it, simply a void that barely endures, and hoping not to break.

I lost everyone I ever cared about, not just my loved ones in the manor, but also the friends I made. I fear for these mortals, so much so that it insulted Venecia. I tried to keep her somewhere safe and trust her not to resist my will. I raised my voice when she met us at the King of Thieves’ temple. I was awfully rude. I didn’t mean to hurt her, but I did. My mind was poisoned with fear. Even though I told them that I would follow them to the place that Yggdrasil twig led to, I don’t intend to keep my word, for I don’t wish to see them again. I love Venecia so much that it pains me. Oh, to wish to be caressed by such a brilliant fire… I’ve become too obsessed with the thought of processing her just to keep her safe from herself. I’m aware that she will never appreciate this kind of guardianship, and it hurts to wish something against her will, regarding her own being. If I ever met Venecia again, I would want to kill her so I could keep her soul safe with me forever. Though I also desire to spare her from such a cruel fate that even I don’t want to be subjected to.

I screamed with a voice that no mortal could hear. The breeze has carried it away to oblivion.

I used to want to be loved, but to maintain love is such a burden I wish not to endure. Chosuke was right.

However, Planar Trading Consortium still matters a great deal to me. It’s the little empire that grants me such chances to live in luxury and pamper my pride. I need Lord Estavan back on his throne.

I stepped away from the taurus’s edge, falling through whiffs of clouds. They said falling from this mountain peak would take you to another plane of existence, but I knew that rule wouldn’t apply to me. It took a few blinks of the eyes before hitting the reflection on the lake below. During those moments, it was the first time my body felt free in the world of material.