It doesn’t smell like you.

            See, the thing is, I didn’t say that. I didn’t even think that. Something else popped into my mind. The voice of a young woman, speaking in a tone that’s meant to be soothing but still terrifies me all the same because it comes from nothing.

            “No, Kai.” I speak aloud, my eyes widening as I bolt right up out of my nest of blankets. “No, Kai, that’s not happening again.”

            When my agoraphobia got bad, it was like how animals at a zoo start acting when they’ve been caged up too long. Banging their head against the walls of their enclosure, demanding to be let out. 

            Sometimes, when it got really, really bad… the auditory hallucinations started. They were innocuous at first. The anxiety of hearing a missed message from my boss on my phone. The ring of a doorbell when I was half-asleep. Other times, it sounded like neighbors whispering about me in the hallway. Awful, vicious things that always hit a little too close to home to be a real person. 

            Can you believe that nutjob that just moved in—the hallucinations might say—never leaves her room. What a freak.

            But the thing is, when I open the door, nobody’s there. 

            When I was living with my ex, I had somebody to check me when I was hearing things. “Babe, your phone’s powered down. Babe, I didn’t hear a doorbell ring. Babe—take a deep breath and count to ten. You know nobody called you that name, and if they did, I’d punch them.” 

            I don’t blame her for getting tired of handling me. I’d leave me for Carmen too.

            But the thing is, the voice of the young woman speaks again: it smells like someone else. Someone… who made you sad?

            And when I fully turn on the lights and open my eyes. She’s there. Gleaming in blue. And I have to admit that, perhaps after the breakup, after locking myself away behind computer deadlines and emails for so long and the barest social interactions…

            I’ve lost it. 

            Because there is a fully fledged ghost girl standing right in front of me. 

            Hi, ghost girl thinks at me, I really like your tattoos.