The hilt of my knife was slippery with sweat and the muscles in my arms shook, as I cut the throat of the last man. An older Contestant, living through many despairing years of torment, only to die by my hand.

I shook with rage as my rampage came to an end.

The female Announcer brought me through the door and set me free. The next battle being tomorrow. I didn't even hear her words as she left, whether she said 'I'm sorry' or 'goodluck' I'll never know.

Falling to the floor, my muscles continued to shake from being tired as well as being afraid. I knew all my life that a Contestant was a Digger, but only recently had I really realized the low point of distinction between them. They really were the same. Only Contestants wanted to fight to protect those they loved. How could I say I wouldn't fight a Digger, but I would gladly slaughter a Contestant? I couldn't, yet I did.

I layed on the stone floor, stone wall on each side, staring up at the blackness of the Creators. Chains drifting from the darkness to Digger's necks.

Could they see us up there? Staring down at us? Judging us?

With questions bouncing in my mind, they were quickly drowned out by the dark haze of sleep.

As the next day commenced, a different Announcer came to take me to the Arena. So tired was I, I didn't even wonder about what happened to the other Announcer.

I watched as many different Announcers walked toward chainless Diggers, also known as Contestants, and brought them toward the same room that I was going to.

Huh, I thought to myself bitterly, so these are the people I have to kill today.

Taking my dagger from my belt, I drew it as we entered the large, stone room. Wincing away from red blood stains on the floor, I walked toward an empty section of the wall and readyed my weapon. It was then a matter of who will start the fight first.

In a sudden movement, someone jumped forward and slashed at the Contestant next to them. A scream was heard and I jumped on my neighbor as well.

Feeling nothing but cold resentment as I slaughtered them. But, as the fight when on, slithers of guilt splattering onto me like blood.

The fight lasted, it seemed like, hours, maybe days, yet soon it was just me and one other person.

Though I didn't know her name, I did know that she trembled, just as I did, when she killed. Not because of anger or fear, but out of guilt for the suffering she had caused. She mercifully made her blows quick and as painless as possible when I watched her fight.

Her hair was so pale it was almost white, close to the same shade of her skin. Eyes a pale blue, lips a soft pink that shaped into a smile. Her hair was short and her slender body danced in fluid movements as she moved. The two of us, the last remaining, just looked at each other.

We stood a mere few feet away from each other.

"Can we..." I hesitated, "Just talk?"

The girl, already in her fighting stance, relaxed the grip on her knife. I did as well.

"Well, what did you want to talk about?" the girl replied in a musical voice.

"I don't want to kill you." I spouted bluntly. Talking to the pale girl put me at ease, it calmed me out of my rage. I breathed out and closed my eyes.

In my head, I said drearily, I didn't want to kill anyone here.

The girl hesitated that time. Finally, she spoke, "I - don't want to kill you either." I opened my eyes again to her concerned face. Knots began to unloosen.

"Could we..." I stopped.

"We couldn't both live. If we said we weren't to kill each other then they would just kill us both. And then..." The girl trailed off.

"Yeah, I get that. The only reason I'm doing this is to find my sister. If I'm dead then... I'm dead. I can't do any good for her."

The girl nodded. After an almost unquenchable silence the girl mumbled something to herself.

"I'm sorry, what was that?"

"O-oh! Did I say that out loud?"

I smiled at the girl, "Uh, yes you did."

The girl smiled back, "I was just saying that I didn't know your name."

"It's Alex."

"Fina."

"So... Fina." I tested out the name on my tongue. "Why are you doing this? The Contest, I mean."

"Oh," Fina sighed, "well, I have a younger brother. When our parents died, he got this wild idea that he should become a Contestant and fend for our family. He said he would come back for me, and, well, he didn't." I saw a great sadness in the small girl's face, Fina sighed. She looked up and smiled, "Well, why are you here?"

I looked down. "The same. My older sister left after my mom died. She taught me everything I know about combat and, well, she never came back." I placed my hand on top of my face. I held back tears, tears long overdue.

Silence.

"What's your - um, what's your sister's name?" I moved my hand off my face and looked at Fina. I half smiled blearly.

"Oh, um, Vondila - Vond for short. What's your brother's?" I asked Fina.

"Darnell," Fina replied, "he's about your age, actually, maybe a little younger." I looked at Fina, who seemed just a little older than myself.

I laughed a little. "The way you phrase that, it makes you seem so old!" Fina began to laugh as well. It seemed like forever since I'd last laughed. Diggers began piling in, moving the dead, old bodies. We literally laughed on the bodies of those we've killed.

After a while our laughter turned to chuckling and even that turned to silence. In a serious note, I turned to Fina, "...What are we going to do?" I said, "I can't kill you now. You have a name."

Fina sighed and looked around at all the Diggers moving the bodies. She whispered, "I'd rather die than be a Digger again," she turned back to me, "Alex, I need you to kill me."

I stared at her, my eyes wide in shock. "W-what?! B-but I just said I couldn't!" Knots came back and I began to sweat again.

"I'm sorry. You heard me, I want you to kill me." Fina's face was calm, she looked straight into my eyes, but her hands were trembling.

"N-no! I can't kill you! Not after this..." I looked down.

Fina replied sternly, "You can, and you will. Listen, Alex, I don't want to die. And-" Fina's voice cracked "-frankly, I'm damn scared. But, listen to me, Alex. When I die, because I know I wouldn't survive five of these Contests anyway, I want you to win. I want you to find your sister, find Vond, and find my brother. They might be dead, but, well, that's a risk all of us Contestants are willing to take. Please," Fina faltered, her voice growing strained, "I'm begging you. Kill me. I wouldn't be able to save him, Darnell, it would just be a Goddamn waste!" Fina's voice crescendoed into the black abyss above. "I know I can't save him, but, please, I know you can." Fina fell to her knees, tears fell as her hands covered her face. She whimpered, "Please."

I obliged, "O-okay," I told her, "how do you want to die?" Tears choked up my words, and I didn't know how to deal with the new emotions clouding my vision.

"Cut throat, please. I don't want to stay conscious for my death." There was a solemness to her voice, of one walking on death's door. And I guess she was.

My eyes stared hollowly at the ground as I nodded. "Tell me when you're ready," I whispered to her.

Fina stayed on her knees, her arms trembling, she mumbled to herself, "God, why am I so scared? I w-won't be conscious for long. A f-few seconds m-maybe, a few agonizing-" Fina looked up to me. "Please, Alex. Promise me you'll find Darnell and... Take care of him, will you?" Fina looked down. "D-damn, who would know it's so scary to die. I think I've carried this on as long as I could. Well, thank you, Alex. See you on the flip side. Now."

I didn't hesitate. My knife swung to Fina's approaching neck. I heard a sticky, cutting noise as the knife went through Fina's innocent neck. Blood splattered on my face as I saw Fina's limp body fall the ground, I watched the color fade from her eyes as she slowly died of blood loss.

Quickly running to Fina's dead body, I put my hands around her bloody neck lovingly and looked at the sticky, red blood on my hands. Panicking, I tried to wipe all of the blood off my clothing. The bandages I wore over my chest were stained with blood. Fina's blood. I turned to looked back at her face, her soft, beautiful, dead face, and I gently stroked her frozen cheek.

Once again, I killed someone with a name.

Leaning down, I kissed the top of Fina's forehead. From the blood that splattered on my face, the kiss left a red mark.

I kissed her and sealed the deal.

To win, not just for myself, but for Fina as well.

My hands trembled, I looked upon the empty stage, filled with cold, forgotten dreams. Blood stained the grey stone. I layed on the floor, huddling into a ball.

"What have I done?"

Emotional turmoil coursed through my veins, pumping poisoned blood and thoughts.

My fault. My fault. My fault.

Frozen tears started to fall, down my nose, across my cheek, and onto the floor.

I killed her. Murderer.

I bit down on my lip as the metallic taste of blood poisoned my tongue.

My fault. My fault. My fault.

I inhaled sharply. My head felt overly heavy, like it was going to fall off. After a long time spent crying on the ground, I stood up. An Announcer walked toward me. He said to me quietly, but coldly, "Congratulations, Alex."

He was different than Hamal. Hamal was always reluctant to smile, but this Announcer... He smiled with cold confidence.

But Alex, I said to myself, you killed Hamal. Have you any right to complain? "Alex," he said coldly, "it's time to go."

I backed away on my knees and put my arms around Fina's body, clinging. The Announcer looked annoyed but said nothing.

After a long silence, I finally let go of the body. Tears fell from my cheeks rapidly. I turned to the Announcer.

"What's your name?" I asked him, he sneered and asked what it was to me. My heart beat, almost ripping out my chest, I knew what I was going to do now.

B-but... No! No! No! That's wrong! You know that's wrong! If you do this, knowing it's wrong, then you will never meet Vond in Heaven! With the Creators!

I slowly turned to the Announcer, my eyes glazed over yet they burned red.

Kaynes told you it was wrong! Are you to disobey your teacher?!

Yearning to kill him, to tear out his neck, make him slowly suffer until death. Just like Fina was dead now.

I slowly stalked my prey. Knife in hand, I circled the yet unaware Announcer.

He doesn't have a name. He isn't a person.

The Announcer glanced at my blade, looking back toward me and backing away nervously.

So it's okay to kill him.

I leaped at him, holding him down with my slender body and slashing his neck. There was a wet sound of knife sliding against flesh, and blood splattered onto my face and arms. He was dead.

The body fell to the ground with a thud. I spat on his corpse.

Once again, I had bloody hands.

Looking around, I saw Digger's stare at me in horror. I absently motioned toward the body. The old Digger who had told me Kaynes was gone nodded and began dragging the body. I turned to Fina's corpse. Nobody had touched her since I had left her dead embrace. Trudging forward, I softly picked up her light corpse and went my way down to the vent area. I killed her, and it would be me who cleaned up the mess.

Tears fell from my eyes, falling on still-wet blood.

Walking, I somehow did find myself near the vent.

"Do I?"

I kneeled, hanging Fina's frail body over the edge until I let go, letting her fall to the rest of the corpses. After a short while, I heard her body squish at the bottom.

Once upon a time, I had wished to become a Contestant.

Now I wish I was dead.