Chapter Twelve: Amorette

Since returning to my flat, things have been much, much better. I’ve had more sleep than ever before. I’ve not had nightmares of killing people brutally – though they probably weren’t nightmares to begin with. And the best part is that I have time. Time to do things I’ve been meaning to do for a while. I can catch up on all my shows, find new movies to watch and new books to read, and hang out with my sister more often. Life without Dizzy couldn’t get any better than it is now.

‘So, what’re we gonna watch?’ asks Clover, sat with her knees up to her chin on my sofa.

‘I don’t know,’ I reply from the kitchen, staring at the popcorn in the microwave, ‘I heard there’s a new season of “Yes! Yes! Yes!”, but I’m not sure if it’s out yet…’

‘Right,’ she says, her eyes glued to the screen as she searches for something to watch. ‘Ooh, what about this?’

‘What about what?’

I walk into the living room and plop myself into the seat next to her, looking at the display on the TV.

‘“Rich, Rich and Richer”?’ I read, glancing at Clover, ‘What kind of name is that?’

‘It’s no different to “Yes! Yes! Yes!”’ she says, deadpan.

‘What’s it about?’

‘What do you think?’

We look at each other for a second, completely straight-faced, before both breaking out into a grin.

‘I’ll get the popcorn,’ I say, at the same time she says, ‘I’ll get the blankets.’

She gets up from the sofa and heads off in the direction of my room, where a pile of crocheted blankets sits in the back of my wardrobe, silently gathering dust.

I go back to the kitchen and continue staring at the popcorn, counting down the seconds on the clock until it’s finished – or at least until I think it’s about to burn.

I think back to my accidental visit to Dizzy’s court, and wonder how I ended up there in the first place. One second I was watching TV, the next I found myself blinded by lights beaming down at me from all directions. I want to tell Clover so badly, but it would bring up memories from the last family dinner, and no one wants a reminder of that. I’m also pretty sure that she wouldn’t believe me, that she would think I’m going crazy. And I really don’t want to turn her against me since she’s one of the only people I’ve got in this world. But if I don’t say anything, she’ll know something’s up, and that will only make things worse.

‘What’s up?’ Clover asks as she re-enters the room, ‘You look preoccupied.’

Shit. Has she already figured it out?

‘Preoccupied?’ I repeat, trying not to panic, ‘Nah. I think it’s just because I’m focused on not burning the popcorn.’

‘You sure? Your frown is too… frowny for it to be just about the popcorn.’

‘Oh really? Must be my new resting face. But I’m fine.’ I give her a half-hearted smile to sell it, but I’m sure she sees right through me.

‘If you say so…’ she replies, and she traipses back to the sofa.

I breathe out a sigh of relief, but only quietly in case Clover hears it. I don’t know what I’ll do if she finds out the truth, or even how I’ll explain myself without sounding like a lunatic. I force myself to concentrate on the popcorn, because I know that the more I let my mind wonder, the more likely my discomfort will show on my face. And if that happens, then Clover will definitely know something’s off.

The microwave pings, pulling me out of my thoughts, and signalling that the popcorn is done.

‘Finally,’ says Clover as I join her on the sofa with the bowl.

‘Start the show already,’ I say, burying myself in the blanket.

‘Alright, alright, I’m getting to it. Jesus.’

She presses play on the remote, and the show starts. The whole thing is basically just a bunch of rich snobs doing ridiculous challenges to become richer, obviously with some unnecessary drama and some romance – which I can’t help but cringe a little at. We end up laughing every five seconds, partly because we’re too unserious, but also because the show is stupid enough to be funny.

‘Okay, okay,’ Clover says through tears as someone drinks a full cup of seawater while trying to keep a straight face, ‘We’ve got to stop. It’s like –’ She throws a quick glance over my shoulder to look at the clock, ‘- 2AM, and we won’t sleep tonight if we try to finish it.’

‘Ugh, you’re no fun,’ I whine, ‘Can’t we watch one more episode?’

‘No, because knowing you, one more episode will turn into finishing the whole series and by the time we’re done it’ll be 6AM and your sleep schedule will be fucked up.’

I sigh, taking the remote from the space between us and turning off the TV. ‘Fine. But we’re definitely finishing this next time.’

‘Definitely,’ she replies, snuggling into her blanket, ‘Now shoo. You’re taking up space on my bed and unlike you, I actually value my sleep.’

‘Yeah, I’m going, I’m going.’

She stretches herself out on the sofa as I get up, and turns onto her side, her back to me.

‘Goodnight Ettie,’ says Clover.

I smile quietly to myself, feeling glad that things are slowly returning to normal. Even though there’s the ever-impending event that I have to attend in a few days with Dizzy, I can relax knowing that I still have time to do what I want to do. And hanging out with my sister is one of them.

‘Goodnight Clover,’ I say, walking back to my room with content.

I flop onto my bed, letting the fatigue set in and take over my body. I know it’s stupid, but I have a good feeling about the next few days. Life has been going swimmingly for so long I almost forgot what it was like when it was bad. And yeah, it’s probably not smart to make assumptions, but given the way things are right now, maybe the event might not be too bad. I can just sit there and look pretty and that should be enough. Nothing bad at all.

But even on the edge of consciousness, something tells me that I’m horribly wrong.