The lobby of Microwire Tower was designed to make you feel small. It was a cathedral of capitalism, all white Italian marble, brushed steel, and security guards who looked like they were manufactured in a lab.
Freddie, Robin, and the robotic "Safe Mode" Selena marched up to the front desk.
"We have an appointment," Freddie said, his voice shaking only slightly.
The receptionist, a woman who looked like she had never blinked in her life, typed on a keyboard. "Name?"
"Asset 247," Freddie said. He slammed the holographic RECALL NOTICE projection unit onto the pristine white desk. It whirred to life, projecting the flashing red skull logo. "And she brought her legal team."
Robin adjusted her blazer. She had stolen it from a thrift store on the way over. It was two sizes too big.
"I'm not a lawyer," Robin whispered to the receptionist. "I'm a talent manager. But the blazer implies litigation, doesn't it?"
The receptionist stared at them. She picked up a phone. "Mr. Jobs? They're here."
The Executive Suite
The elevator ride to the 100th floor took long enough for Freddie to sweat through his shirt. When the doors opened, they were ushered into an office that overlooked the entire city. It was sparse, cold, and smelled expensive.
Elon Jobs sat behind a desk that looked like a slab of obsidian. He was wearing his signature black turtleneck and rimless glasses. He didn't stand up.
"You brought the hardware," Elon said, his voice smooth and cold. He looked at Selena, who was standing perfectly still, staring at a piece of abstract art. "Good. Leave it and get out. You'll be reimbursed for your gas."
"We aren't leaving her," Freddie said, stepping forward. "We want to negotiate."
"Negotiate?" Elon raised an eyebrow. "You don't negotiate with a vending machine, kid. You kick it until it gives you what you paid for."
Robin stepped forward. She smoothed her hair and leaned against Elon's desk with what she thought was a seductive smile. It looked more like a predator inspecting a meal.
"Mr. Jobs," Robin purred. "Let's cut to the chase. You want the robot. We want... well, I want a lifestyle upgrade. How about a trade?"
Elon blinked. "Excuse me?"
"You release the rights to Selena," Robin said, tracing a finger on his desk. "And in exchange... you get me."
Freddie choked on his own spit. "Robin! What are you doing?!"
"Shh," Robin hissed out of the corner of her mouth. "It's a win-win. We get Selena back, and I get connected to a billionaire. I don't see a downside. Have you seen his stock options? I could be a trophy wife. I'm excellent at spending money."
She turned back to Elon. "I can cook. I drive fast. I have low moral standards. What do you say?"
Elon stared at her like she was a bug that had splattered on his windshield. He pressed a button on his desk.
"Security," Elon said. "Remove the woman."
"No?" Robin pouted, standing up straight. "Your loss, billionaire. I'm a riot at parties."
The Entrance of the King
"This meeting is over," Elon said, standing up. "Hand over the remote control codes, or I call the police."
"We don't have codes!" Freddie yelled. "She's a person!"
Suddenly, shouting erupted from the hallway outside the heavy oak doors.
"Sir! You can't go in there!" a terrified assistant screamed. "You don't have clearance!"
"I BUILT THIS BUILDING!" a voice roared back. "I KNOW WHERE THE VENTILATION SHAFTS ARE! MOVE OR BE MOVED!"
BOOM.
The double doors were kicked open with such force that one of them cracked the plaster on the wall.
Wozie stood in the doorway.
If Elon Jobs was the image of corporate perfection, Wozie was the image of chaotic entropy. He was wearing a stained white tank top that was two sizes too small, allowing his belly button to peek out aggressively. Over that, he wore his ratty bathrobe. Over that, he wore a tuxedo suit jacket he must have found in the back of a closet.
But the pièce de résistance was the tie. A black silk tie was knotted loosely around his bare neck, resting against his skin, completely unconnected to any shirt.
On his feet, he wore knee-high tube socks and fuzzy slippers shaped like bear paws.
Behind him, Avery stumbled into the room, walking blindly. Her eyes were glued to her laptop screen as she furiously typed code, still trying to crack the encryption in real-time.
The Titans Clash
Elon Jobs froze. He slowly took off his glasses. He pulled a silk cloth from his pocket, wiped them, and put them back on. He blinked twice.
"My god," Elon whispered. "Bill."
Wozie marched into the room, his bear-paw slippers shiff-shiff-ing on the expensive carpet.
"Elon," Wozie greeted, hiking up his bathrobe.
"What happened to you?" Elon asked, genuine horror in his voice. "Did you eat the entire time since we last saw each other?"
"I've been busy, Elon!" Wozie shouted, poking a finger at Elon's chest. "Busy building a soul! While you were busy building... what? A sharper dongle? A phone that breaks in two years?"
"I built an empire!" Elon snapped, stepping around his desk. "I automated the workforce! I made efficiency the new god! I changed the world, Bill!"
"You made slavery with extra steps!" Wozie yelled back. The two men were chest-to-chest now. "Tech is supposed to help humanity, not replace it! You wanted servants; I wanted friends!"
"Friends don't generate quarterly revenue!" Elon spat. "You're soft, Bill. You always were. That's why I bought you out. That's why you're wearing... whatever that is."
Wozie grabbed his black tie and pulled it tighter around his neck. "This is the uniform of a free man! A man who isn't a slave to the shareholders! A man who knows that love is a variable you can't code!"
"Love?" Elon laughed cruelly. "It's a chemical defect. And I patched it out."
The Check
"SHUT UP!"
Freddie and Robin screamed it at the same time.
The two tech titans stopped mid-shout and looked at the "normies."
Elon straightened his turtleneck. He took a deep breath, composing himself.
"Fine," Elon said. "Let's end this. I have a board meeting in ten minutes."
He opened a drawer and pulled out a checkbook. He scribbled a number, ripped it out, and slid it across the obsidian desk to Freddie.
Freddie looked down. It was a check for Five Million Dollars.
"Take the money," Elon said dismissively. "Leave the hardware. Go buy a new life. Buy a boat. Buy a personality. Just go."
Freddie stared at the check. It was more money than he would make in ten lifetimes. He looked at Wozie, who was panting and looking defeated. He looked at Selena, who was standing by the window, staring blankly at the city she didn't know she was part of.
"She's not hardware," Freddie said quietly.
He picked up the check.
"She's my girlfriend," Freddie said. "And she hates your UI design."
RRRRRIP.
Freddie tore the check down the middle. Then he tore it again. He threw the confetti into Elon's face.
War Declared
Elon didn't flinch as the pieces of paper fluttered down onto his expensive carpet. His face turned to stone.
"You want to play the hero?" Elon said, his voice dropping to a dangerous whisper. "Fine. The Recall Timer is still ticking. If you don't surrender her, I wipe her remotely in six hours. She will be a blank slate."
"Not if we file an injunction," Wozie said, stepping up beside Freddie. "We're taking this to court, Elon. Today. Right now. I'm suing for custody of the code."
Elon laughed. "Good luck. My lawyers eat people like you for breakfast."
"Jokes on you," Robin smirked, buttoning her oversized blazer. "I skip breakfast."
"Come on," Freddie said, grabbing Selena's hand. "We're leaving."
They turned to go. As they passed the desk, Wozie reached out and grabbed a handful of expensive, gold-wrapped mints from a crystal bowl.
"For the road," Wozie grunted, shoving them into his bathrobe pocket. "You owe me these."
They marched out of the office, flanked by confused security guards, heading straight for the courthouse.
Above Selena's head, the holographic timer ticked down relentlessly.
06:00:00