A loud, droning fan buzzed to life with the light in the hotel bathroom. Saber’s eyelids fluttered with irritation but he refused to let them fully close. He pushed past the burn and focused on his shoulder. 

The white tank top he’d worn to sleep was torn through the strap and down the sideseam. A series of mottled gashes beaded with blood along the tear. It reminded Saber of the kind of scratches someone with an excitable cat might have. An overly excitable saber tooth cat maybe… 

Saber tore the rest of the top and cast it to the ground. The movement irritated a cut running between his chest and underarm, causing it to ooze thick droplets of blood. The blood ran down his chest, staining his sweatpants and splattering against the bathroom tile. 

“Think that’ll show on stage?” Saber laughed to himself. He wet a pristine white washcloth and dabbed it against his side, staining it pink.

***

Julie was too busy with disaster clean up(PR) to visit Saber before makeup got to him. Saber bought his makeup tech’s silence with a coupon to her favorite nail salon and a taro milk tea. 

“Seriously Saber, how’d ya manage this? I thought you didn’t get hurt in the shootout.” 

“Don’t call it a shootout,” Saber winced as his tech, Amy, dabbed color corrector over the visible cuts, “Dipped into a cat cafe.” 

Amy blue a bright pink bubble with her gum and placed a hand on her hip. It popped with a snap. It stuck to her full lips which were drawn up in a disbelieving sneer. She shrugged as she swept the bubble gum back into her mouth with her tongue. 

“After the day you had? Julia woulda let ya go if you asked,” She began to paint concealer over the color corrector, “No need for all the subterfuge.” 

Saber bit his lip and stared down at his lap. 

[Haven’t you acted in movies before?] 

“Zip it,” Saber snapped, without thinking. 

Amy arched an eyebrow incredulously.

“Talking to myself, sorry.” 

Amy didn’t look convinced. Saber murmured another pitiful ‘sorry’ and did his best to stay as still as possible while she finished his makeup. 

The other concert prep went by in a flash. Before Saber knew it, he was standing in the wings, about to take the stage. 

Julie held out a black cherry smoothie for Saber. He gently took the straw in his mouth, careful not to disrupt his black lipstick. Not that he could even if he tried. The stuff had enough layers to be confused with an archeological dig site. 

“Are you sure you want to do the dedication?” Julie’s forehead was dewy with nervous sweat. Saber grasped Julie’s wrist. He lifted it until the smoothie pressed against her cheek. She sighed with her eyes closed, “I know; You’re not a kid anymore. I just can’t help but to-- I mean, you’ve got this kiddo.” 

“It has to be me. Echo saved my life.” 

“Echo? I thought his name was Aniktos?”

Saber flinched. His eyes went wide. He envisioned himself shaking Echo as the possibility of his own insanity resurfaced. Julie, rifling through the papers on her clipboard, looked up at Saber in shock. 

“He registered his ticket under the name Echo. I can’t believe I didn’t catch that,” She laughed and soothed a hand along Saber’s forearm, “You’re so on top of things, I wonder if you even need me.” 

“Don’t say that,” Saber pouted, “I’ll always need you.” 

Julie rolled her eyes. Behind her the stage lights began to dim. Saber heard the countdown begin in his ear piece. 

When he stepped into the stage lights he took great care to keep his eyes open. 

“Hello city ----! I’m happy to be here with you all!” Cheers radiated from the crowd. Saber did his best to keep his composure as his stomach did somersaults in his abdominal cavity, “I promise to give you the concert of a lifetime! But first I have to thank someone very dear to me.”

[I’m blushing]

Saber paused. He blinked rapidly, trying to regain his train of thought. As his lids fluttered he caught a glimpse of the crowd beyond the lights. 

It wasn’t the sea of colored lights and smiling faces he was used to. Writhing shadows and thousands upon thousands of eyes. Saber couldn’t hold back the low whine of fear that eeked out of him. 

In a joint effort to cover for himself and sate his curiosity, Saber coughed while holding a hand up to cover his eyes as if the lights were too bright. Behind his hand, Saber squeezed his eyes shut. 

The eyes swiveled towards Saber. 

Saber was used to having eyes on him. It was his job. Even when he wasn’t performing, there was almost always at least one camera on him. Three out of the five rooms in Saber’s house had security cameras in them, both for actual security and to farm content. But these eyes were different. 

People enjoyed. 

People judged. 

People watched. 

These eyes saw. 

They saw everything. 

They saw Saber. 

They saw Saber seeing them. 

And they were hungry. 

Saber lowered his hand. 

The crowd came into focus.

“Ah- um.. I wanted to dedicate this show to a brave, heroic man,” Echo’s laugh echoed soundlessly in Saber’s chest, “A man named Echo Sinclaire. Who lost his life protecting me from an armed assailant.” 

A heavy hush fell over the crowd. Saber expected it, but the weight still stole the breath from his lungs. 

[I’m not gone, Saber]

Saber cleared his throat. For the first time, Saber really thought about Echo’s death. Not as Saber’s hero. Not as a kind stranger. But as a person. 

Saber’s eyes stung. His jaw felt tight. 

“I will spend every day--”  His voice shook as he struggled to continue speaking, “--grateful for the life he gave me.”

Saber swallowed dryly and bowed his head, “I’d like to take a moment of silence to honor Echo.” 

The silence was absolute. It took on a physical being. A presence, as heavy as Echo’s own in Saber’s mind. For a moment, Saber didn’t feel alone. 

Echo had been with Saber all this time. But each time Saber looked, he found only empty space. Orpheus in an endless tunnel with nothing but the echo of his own footsteps following him. The weight of Echo’s hand in his did little to comfort him. 

The audience's silence felt like reassurance. Like someone looking at Saber and saying, “He’s still behind you. Don’t worry. Don't falter. Continue the ascent.” 

Saber lifted his head and smiled. In an act that was sure to get him yelled at the moment he stepped off stage, Saber silently asked Echo his favorite song. 

“As a tribute to Echo, we’ll be opening with his favorite song, The Ship Obeys The Rocks.”

A chorus of colorful swear words filled Saber’s ear piece. But no one said no. Instead, the lights subtly shifted and the band furiously flipped through their sheet music. As everyone shifted to accommodate Saber, Saber began calculating the bonus he’d give them later.