Chapter 1

Blood.

So much of it.

I'm tired.

I want to go to sleep.

I can't. Not even if I wanted to.

I look down at my arms, physical proof of my lack of self control. I watch the blood dripping down them, thoroughly feeling the euphoria coursing throughout my veins along with the the sharp, stinging pain that's now become all too familiar to me.

The euphoria makes my mind drift off to different places, places I don't want to paticularly think about right now with the stinging wounds giving me rushes of adrenaline that just, even for a moment, makes me feel like everything is okay, one that makes me feel like I could wish the world away if I tried hard enough.

Oh Lord I hate her, so so much, I hate her stupid face, the way her striking lips curve up into a a smile and the way her eyes curve into cresents so beautiful they rival the beauty of the moon herself.

I especially hate the way my heart skips a beat or two when she specifically smiles at me, it instantly makes me feel like everything is going to be okay, even when it absolutely isn't. And lord I despise how she makes me want to live, even just to just see her happy if nothing else.

Even thinking about it makes my heart ache a bit at my bravery or therein lack of it. Gosh, what I wouldn't give to taste those soft lips of hers and see her flashing me one of those adorable smiles of hers that i so deeply adore. What I wouldn't give to worship her on my knees just simply on the merit that I could. What I wouldn't give for her.

Gosh this is scary, I've never loved someone this deeply before. I'd do just about anything for her. One word from her and I'd destroy both the world and myself. I'm not used to this. Though this is just as exhilarating as it is terrifying.

Even the thought of her simply thinking of me brings me such joy that I feel like I'd want to ask nothing more of the world. Just then, I have a moment of belated realization.

Ah.

That must be it.

Salvation

Shes my salvation, my everything. And I am nothing & no one without her gracing me with her existence on this bland sinful earth.

Ah.

I'm so tired

I think I might just rest my eyes for a while.......