The true beginning would’ve been in my childhood, where I would take apart gadgets and appliances in my house just to see what was inside, and to try and figure out how they worked. Or even in school, where my favorite subject was history.

But for the purposes of this story, we can begin on the evening of 8th January, 2019, at this exact café that we’re sitting in right now.

My best friends Angelina, Long, and Tasha hadn’t seen me in months, and so they forced me to come out here for dinner. I was dressed rather plainly: sneakers, a pair of leggings, my good old college hoodie over a t-shirt, and of course, my crossbody handbag.

I’d been sitting there for a good while, zoned out on the European dancepop while munching my reuben, my leg bouncing under the table, when suddenly Long’s voice came out of nowhere.

“RADHA!”

“YES!”

Now alert, I found my friends staring at me. I shook my head.

“Sorry, what were you saying?”

“Where did you disappear to?” asked Long. “We’re all dying to know.”

“Wait, I got it,” said Angelina, her face lighting up. “You bought yourself an island!”

“Oooohhh, yeah!” said Tasha, grinning. “I can see that! Out in the South Pacific, sipping on a cocktail from a coconut while laying in front of one of those huts in a bikini… yeah, you look hella fine girl, damn!”

“Ha-ha, very funny guys,” I said, sniggering. “But that’s not it. You know I don’t like cocktails.”

“Yeah, ‘cause that’s the part she denies,” said Long, smirking. We all had a good laugh for a few minutes, followed by silence.

Then Angelina quietly interrupted that silence.

“Or maybe… did your parents finally start talking to you again?”

I stared at her, my hand tightening its grip on the napkin I’d forgotten I was holding. Long and Tasha watched me with anticipation.

“No. I haven’t been back in India for years, and I don’t plan on returning any time soon.”

“OH WAIT, maybe she was in Thailand, getting–” said Long, miming a pair of scissors with his hand.

I looked at him quizzically.

“What?” said Long. “Didn't you tell us you were planning on getting it done sometime soon?”

“Ahhh... I did,” I said. “ But it's not that either. There’s a HUGE waitlist for those.”

“Okay, so it has nothing to do with trans stuff then?” asked Tasha. I hesitated.

“No, it doesn’t.”

The other three stared at me, until Long playfully slammed the table.

“Then what is it? Speak, woman!”

“Long!” said Tasha. “Relax, dude!”

“Sorry.”

“But seriously though,” said Angelina, gently placing her hand on my arm. “We’re worried about you, Radha. You disappear for months on end, without even a single text. Like, I know you get caught up in your crazy hobbies and stuff, but this is just too much. We miss you, chula!”

“Hehe, catching feelings again, are we…?” said Long, a cheeky expression on his face. Tasha smacked him up the back of his head.

“It’s been years since Radha and I dated, you moron,” said Angelina, frowning. “I’m not interested in women.”

“Get with the program, fool,” said Tasha.

“Right, right,” said Long, his head bowed in shame. “I forgot.”

“Anyway,” I said. “If you must know I’ve been working on a big… ‘project’, let’s say. In fact, it’s almost done and I really wanna get back to it. So if y’all don’t mind…”

I got up while the others looked at me with surprise.

“Maybe we can, er, help…?” said Tasha. I could tell she realized the futility of that sentiment halfway through the sentence.

“Sorry, this is something that I need to do on my own. But still… it was really great seeing you guys tonight. Really.”

I gave big hugs to all three of them, and bid them farewell. My heart started racing with excitement as I briskly walked back to my apartment.

I couldn’t tell them what I was working on, I just couldn’t. I love those idiots, but they wouldn’t understand.

Yeah. They really, really wouldn’t understand.