|O, our poor, poor sacrificial godbuns in our monstrous season

We gave our people daily fortunes, we gave our people luck to spare

And yet, it's never enough.

Why did they receive better blessing? Redo, redo, redo!

Begs for a redo. Over and over and over again.

Sorry, one only gets a single fortune, next.

Yet the people continue to beg, plead.

Just this once, pretty please!

Why, o, why is this so?

The greed just continues to grow.

Never ending pleas,

We can only do so much, 

Don't you see?

O, our poor, poor sacrificial godbuns.

What's a deity to do,

When our people are not satisfied?

They beg, they plead,

When they do not give them the job they seek.

O, dear divine above, pretty please!

Make the rain go away.

Pull the storm clouds away.

We gave them careers,

Yet, they always come at us with jeers. 

Don't you see?The mortals are never satiated,

They have not been so for centuries.

O, our poor, poor godbuns writing in agony,

What will it take for our people to stop

From blaming their luck on everything?

We give them divine fortune

As a guide,

Yet they take it as an intervention

For what they decide.

We can only do so much

Don't you see?

We don't not have unlimited powers

To keep overturning everything.

O, our poor, poor godbuns of endless fatigue,

What can be done to change this system of continuous pleas?

Fortunes are just a tool

And yet, they act like it's the end all, be all

Like a bunch of fools.

Why, o, why is this so?

We are at a loss of where to go.

In this season of cracks that keep cracking aplenty,

Change must happen already!|

Tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet, tweeteroo.

Little gust fairies dancing around the window, the vampa let out a yawn. Huh, it was morning already? Time sure went by fast. Rolling around on the couch, the bun tried to remember. What's today again? Oh, right, he's going back home for the job ceremony, yawn. Can he get a little more sleep first, please? Zzz.

Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh.

Eyes shooting back open, the thought repeated itself for a moment. Wait, hold on a second, the job ceremony. That's very soon! Oh, no, what if it snows again and he can't go back to Seeboro? Removing himself from the couch, the farmer glued his face onto the paned glass laid out in front of him. It's not still snowing, right? Please, don't let that be so!

Not a single flake waiting for him, the young adult puffed a sigh of relief. It wasn't snowing alright. But, why did he get this feeling that something terrible is going to happen at the job ceremony? What if the godbuns gave him a terrible job for the rest of his life? Oh, no, what if he becomes the godbuns plaything for all eternity?!

Slapping his cheeks, the vampa let out a barely audible laugh. Haha, why would that happen? Come on, Siorc, be serious here. This will determine his destiny! Surely, he's going to be deemed a farmer. It was already his career anyway! May as well make it official. Surely, the divine wouldn't pull another prank on him, right?

Tweet, tweet, tweet.

Birds flapping towards the window, the bun sighed. But, what if the godbuns do give him a terrible job? If that's the case, he'll can reselect, right? Right, if he recalled correctly, Strix got to reroll his. Or, did he? He didn't know, his job ceremony was so long ago now. Maybe he was remembering wrong.

Wind looking about ready to kick itself in, the bun stretched. He should probably get ready to leave. The moment Advenbu woke up, he's going back to his village, right? There's not a moment to lose. Hopping off towards the guest restroom, the vampa locked eyes with the pesky shirt in the mirror. As soon as he's able to slip by the craft store, he's buying plain shirts to be rid of this thing!

Hair pulled up into two high pigtails, the vampa clicked a set of yellow smiling horned angel hairpins and earrings into place. Take that, godbuns, he won't let them call him unhappy. Skirt fixed, the bun crossed his fingers. Please, let the job ceremony go well. Returning to the den, something smelled toasty.

"Good morning, Siorc, there's one last thing I need to do before I can take you back home," Susu greeted, voice full of energy. "Have you ever pulled a fortune slip before?"

Question coming his way, the farmer tried to think. Had he ever pulled a fortune slip before? No memories flowing through, he shook his head. To be honest, no. Fortunes were just silly slips of paper that didn't mean anything. What point is there in trying to pull one of those things anyway? Everything should be earned with hard work! Reaching for his Talkmaster B, his hands were practically glued to the knobs.

Fortune slip drawn on the screen with a huge lined circle over it, the young adult almost wanted to shake the drawing away. Maybe he shouldn't be so direct about this, should he try again? No, maybe it was better to write this as it is. Why lie? Fortunes were pointless, after all! It's not like they mean anything. Rake drawn as well, the vampa added a jagged bubble. Alright, that should do, here goes.

[No, I've never drawn a fortune slip before. I don't really see a point in partaking in that sort of thing. It's just a slip of paper, right? I can achieve great things by doing hard work! No need to have a silly piece of paper tell me I have good fortune ahead of me.] A crackling voice through the Talkmaster B's speakers said. He then added some more. [Buns really shouldn't rely on those things. There's no such thing as good and bad luck.]

"Really, you haven't? I'm kind of surprised, honestly," Susu said, voice trailing for a moment. "Haven't you heard of the Divine Rabbit of Good Fortune? They oversee the fortune system. I was thinking before I take you back home, maybe you could grab a fortune slip? Who knows, maybe it'll grant you good luck for the future Mystic Carrot Bowl. I've heard Fortubu is pretty gentle. Just standing by him might give you good tidings!"

Fortubu brought to his attention, the bun placed his finger to his chin. How strange, he was told that The Divine Rabbit of Good Fortune was the overseer of the job ceremonies when he was still in school. Had he been taught wrong? Maybe he had been. He bets if he goes to the fortune booth, he'll get a bad luck slip anyway. Why waste time going there? No, no, Siorc, happy thoughts, happy thoughts!

[I thought Fortubu was the overseer of the job ceremony. I highly doubt standing next to him will give me good luck. Let's not go to the fortune booth, to be honest. I bet those slips are predetermined anyway the moment you pull them.] A cracking voice through the Talkmaster B's speakers said.

"I see, well, I still think you should give it a try," Susu responded in a serious tone. "You never know, maybe if you get a good luck slip, Fortubu might redo your naming ceremony!" There was a high amount of energy in her voice.

[I guess I'll try it just this once.] A crackling voice through the Talkmaster B's speakers said.

"Alrighty, then I'll take you to the shrine again before I take you home!" Susu cried, spatula up in the air. "Now, let's eat! I made stuffed carrot stew. Hope you're okay with that!"

Seating himself at the table, a steamy stew locked eyes with him. Sniffing up a bitter scent, the young adult tried to hide a sigh. Did she put charred celery in this? Ick. But, no, he can't complain. He's only a guest in her home! He needs to eat this with a smile, yup. He'll just pretend they're cherries, that'll do.

Piping hot meats ready to burn him alive, the bun huffed. Okay, maybe he should have waited before he dug in, silly him. Blowing on the spoon, he stared off into space. Would today's job ceremony go well? This only came once in his lifetime, after all. Well, unless he was expulsed from the one assigned, or something. That happened to Deigr at some point when he was a childbun. At least, he thought it did. Maybe.

Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring.

It's the eighth hour!

It's the eighth hour!

The job ceremony shall commence in eight hours.

The job ceremony shall commence in eight hours.

All godbuns who have recently been granted a divine name or have been expulsed, please remember to head for the Capitol for your job assignment.

Nearly spitting out his tea, the bun huffed. Wait, job ceremonies happen at the Capitol? Why there of all places? No way, that stuffy old place mama worked at? What an awful place to hold that! Couldn't it have been in a field or something? Strix's happened at the park! But, oh well, guess he's going to that stuffy old place. Will mama see his job ceremony? She sure hoped so.

"Huh? How strange, they're doing it at the capitol this month," Susu said, finger on her chin. "It's pretty rare they hold it there. Wonder if something happened?" Her ears bopped on the top of her head for a moment. "You're definitely going to need a fortune slip today."

Susu's words ready to drive over him with a buggy, the bun blinked. It was rare for the job ceremony to happen at the capitol, why is that? That doesn't sound very good. Maybe there was some nasty outbreak of chocobats nearby. He swears, those pests have been all over the place lately. He really needs to go home and put down some pest repellent soon.

[Maybe there's just a vermin outbreak! You know, like strawrats or chocobats or something? I wouldn't want to hold a ceremony in front of those!] A crackling voice through the Talkmaster B's speakers cried.

"I don't know, if it were a vermin outbreak, they'd just move it to another park, don't you think?" Susu asked. "I suppose you could be right, though. You are a farmer after all. Still, I do think it's best you get a fortune slip just in case."

Counter point brought to his attention, the vampa shrugged. He supposed Susu could be right. So, what could be the reason this month's job ceremony was moved to the capitol? Could it be something amiss has occurred? No, maybe they just want this one to feel more important. This is about destiny, after all! When he gets told his job is to be a farmer, the entire capitol will get to hear!

[Alright, fine, just in case, I'll get a fortune slip. But, it's just a slip of paper!] A crackling voice through the Talkmaster B's speakers cried.

Stew finished, the bun locked eyes with the paned glass before him. What if there was a vermin outbreak across Seeboro? Maybe he should take care of that after the job ceremony. But, would he have time for that? Probably not. How long does the job ceremony usually take? Probably six hours. Weren't there a lot of LopVampas who recently came of age? It would take a long time, he bets.

Advenbu telling him she needed to do something real quick, the bun plopped back down on the couch. Turning on the boob tube, a strange news report soon played. 'This just in, there's been increased reports of buns falling into holes! Bad luck like this has never been seen before in all of Lagozora!' Hearing such, the bun almost wanted to turn the screen off. What did that reporterbun say just now? Was he hearing things?

News reporter taking it to buns in the street, everything was about ready to come crashing down from the heavens above. Look at all those injured buns! How did this happen? Surely, it wasn't bad luck. Some construction worker just wasn't doing their job, that's all! Childbuns tearing up, what he heard next cracked the glass.

Childbun on the tv screen: <I fell into a hole and, and I almost slipped away into the river! Waaah! Waaah! Has Fortubu left us?>

Childbun on the tv screen, hands folded into a praying position: <O, Fortubu, please, grant mommy, daddy and me good luck so we don't fall into another scary hole again!>

Further people on the streets relaying he same stories, the cracks grew further. Why is everyone saying Fortubu has left them? That wasn't possible, right? The godbuns were always there! They were always listening. Maybe he was busy in another village far away? He was always being called upon, after all. Or, was he? He probably was, who is he kidding? Testimonies continuing, his ears were glued.

Adultbun [divine name has been censored for privacy!]: <Everyone at work got a promotion except me! Why has Fortubu forsaken me? I leave her the carrots she adores every single day!>

Adultbun [divine name has been censored for privacy!]: <On the way to work, I got pecked repeatedly by a ton a icedoves! And, every time I pray to Fortubu, more come! Is this a sign of the apocalypse? O, please, o, please Fortubu above, please tame these birds that try to stop me!>

Click.

Turning the screen off, the bun stood up from the couch. That's enough television for one day. Any minute now, and Advenbu will be ready to go. Cracking his knuckles, he hopped towards the door. It's best to not sit around and get all doomy and gloomy! Come on, Siorc, today is a special day! It's not every day destiny comes around! Susu soon returning, he prepared himself.

"Alrighty, I'm about ready to go," Susu said, voice energetic. "But, I have one last question for you before we head to the shrine." There was a serious tone in her voice for some reason.

[What is it? Is something wrong?] A cracking voice through the Talkmaster B's speakers asked.

"No, nothing's wrong," Susu asked, shaking her head. "I'm just wondering. Are you really ready for your job ceremony?"

Odd inquiry coming his way, the bun blinked. What kind of question is that? Of course he's ready! He's going to get told he's going to be a farmer. That's the only path forward. Why would he get anything else? Wait, did Susu not like the job she got or something? Maybe she didn't, should he ask her that?

[Of course I'm ready! It's finally going to be official that I get to be a professional farmer! I couldn't be more ready for this!] A crackling voice through the Talkmaster B's speakers exclaimed.

"I hope you're right, but keep your expectations tempered, okay?" Susu asked. "You never know what might happen." She then extended her hand. "Now, let's head for the shrine, follow me."

Creak. 

Door opened, the young adult swore he could hear a familiar laugh up close. Oh, no, don't tell him Evbu was playing the villain role again? Were there holes forming around Frosaro, too? Maybe so, he guessed he was about to find out. Strutting forward, a gaping trap had soon been leaped over. Wait a second, why are there so many pitfalls here?

"Watch your step! This street is full of pitfalls!" Susu cried. "That's so strange, I've never this many before! Come on, let's take the opposite path."

Guided towards the opposite path, the holes aplenty added themselves to the bounty list. Is it just him, or had there been even more on this side? Was there a quake when he was sleeping? That could have possible, maybe. Someone really needed to patch these holes us before the entire world is covered in them.

Shrine getting ever so closer, the young adult crossed his fingers. Please, let whatever fortune he get prove him right. There's no such thing as good and bad luck! It's all just in the head. Of course. Happiness from a so called good fortune, and gloom from a bad one. It's just a distraction from the truth. Stairs reached, he slapped his cheeks. Here goes.