I lay here and continued to ponder that million-dollar question.

My aching body was now healed up just enough to be able to lift my upper body off the ground and sit myself up straight. Granted, it was still an agonising struggle to move about to this degree, and I was certainly going to be feeling this pain for the rest of the week; however, it was still a vast improvement over being stuck helpless on my back like a flipped turtle.

Taking a moment to catch my breath, I leaned back and carefully raised up my knees, resting my right arm over my knees as my left hand rested on the nice soft grass, staring back up at what I once ignorantly believed to be the top of the Mountain for most of my life, completely at a loss over what I was going to do with the rest of my life now that I know the truth of what really lies beyond the dark clouds. 

Do I continue to keep trying to climb beyond even those clouds for another thirty years or more to make it past the second set of clouds? Would there even be a guarantee of paradise waiting for me beyond them, or would there just be even more Mountain after that? 

Would it even be worth it if this so-called paradise is real since I’d be beyond my sixties by then and wouldn’t really have much time to fully enjoy the dream I fought so hard to achieve... That’s when that thought sparked a sudden realization. 

I’ve been so obsessed with making it to the top of this Mountain that I’ve neglected every other aspect of my life... Like everyone here at the ground level, I believed that the only way to achieve true happiness was to make it to the top and you’d be set for life, yet after actually making it to what I believed ever since I was a child to be the top, it wasn’t the paradise I was promised at all. 

Leaving me to wonder if there really was a paradise waiting at the top of this massive structure and even if there was, would it actually be the key to true happiness like everyone claims? How can anyone believe that with such confidence when not a single soul has actually made it to the top to witness it with their own eyes and returned to tell the tale? 

Sure, it’s possible the perfect paradise truly did exist and that you just had to climb even higher to reach it; maybe it could even be a very nice place to settle down with family, but it didn’t live up to the near outlandish hype surrounding it. Hell, it could even be so perfect that it would just be a boring place to live with no excitement or thrills to be had that came with living.

Then again, it could even just be nothing up there, and trying to reach the top of this massive structure would be nothing more than a serious waste of time and energy. 

Don’t think I’ll ever truly know the answer unless I somehow conquer the second Mountain and see what waits beyond the second set of clouds with my own two eyes. 

Which then begs the question... Do I really need to spend a majority of my life climbing this Mountain to find out? Would making it to the top actually achieve that true happiness I’ve been fighting for my entire life? 

Considering most of my family and friends who decided to ignore trying to make it to the top and decided to settle down in the caves that spread across the cliff side seem quite content with their lives, sure, it wasn’t a perfect life since they still suffered with some struggles along with the low but very real risk of losing their cave to an avalanche and having to start over.

However, despite all those setbacks and risks, they all seemed happy to know they had a roof over their head and a family to always be there to have their back. 

With that thought in mind, I lower my gaze to the section of the Mountain where all the caves are, wondering just how everyone is and how they had gone about their day compared to how I spent all mine trying in yet another futile attempt to climb to the top. 

Also curious how they would react to the news that I actually made it past the dark clouds and discovered that instead of paradise, there was basically another Mountain to climb along with more dark clouds waiting atop that one too.

No doubt a few would be quite shocked by the news, with some even choosing not to believe me; however, considering most of them decided to settle down in caves on their own accord rather than spending the rest of their lives climbing, I wouldn’t even be surprised if most of them wouldn’t even be shocked by what most would consider earth-shattering news. 

Picturing their reactions was enough to get a smile out of me that was quickly followed by a soft chuckle, though it didn’t take long for that smile to melt away into a frown once it dawned on me that in my desperate pursuit to make scale to the top, I’ve neglected so much quality time with all of them in the process, only really visiting them in the middle of my climbs. 

Even then such visits were for pretty selfish reasons, more so stopping to take a quick breather rather than generally visiting to spend quality time with the people I claim to care about the most… I have to atone for using my own family and friends as a pit stop and actually see everyone I love just to spend precious time with them. 

It wasn't just the ones I cared about that I was neglecting with my obsession, but myself as well, as I was so laser-focused on achieving this one single dream that I blinded myself from considering other paths in life, such as becoming a farmer, hunter, or maybe even expanding one of my hobbies into something that would bring joy to the rest of the community. 

Actually, I really love carving art out of wood, like different household objects, animals, and even interesting people I’ve come across in life, yet I’ve basically pushed that all aside just to pursue this single goal... I should find the time to get back into that even if it’s something that just stays as a simple hobby. 

This now got me thinking... Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to find a cave of my own to settle down into. Sure, there isn’t many left to find in the middle of the mountain, but maybe climbing above the clouds wasn’t a complete waste of time since I don’t know anyone who made it past that point. Not so if I can at least climb just a little further; then it’s possible there would be many caves there ripe for the taking. 

It might not be the untold paradise I’ve been dreaming of for most of my life, but just the idea that I’d have a cave to call my own where I can start carving my creations and display them all proudly within my cave while having family and friends over to hang out with and show off my works sounds like a pretty cozy life to me.

Could also give me a lot more time to get out there in the community to help out people in need or just hang out with others and learn about their own life stories... Who knows, I might even meet that special someone and be able to settle down with them one day... Wouldn’t that be nice?

Even with this new direction I had planned for my life, I can’t help but feel upset that after years of fighting this mountain, my dream of making it to paradise and finding a way to bring my family and friends up there with me didn’t work out in the end...

However! 

This didn’t mean it was the end of my dream to try and make it to the peak and find out if the legends of paradise are real or not with my own eyes; after all, it would be nice for someone like myself with no access to a helicopter to be the first to climb up there and be able to bring back the knowledge down to everyone below.

I put too much blood, sweat, and tears to fully call it quits. I just wasn’t going to make the same mistake of spending most of my waking hours obsessively climbing and falling to reach a dream that might not even exist. From now on, I'm just treating it like a hobby when I’ve got the spare time and energy to do so, putting my focus all into building up a nice and stable life for myself, and aiming for what is really important in my life. 

The lingering question is, though, would this new direction for my life work out as well as I’m hoping for in the long term? 

Honestly...I don’t have a single clue, and I’m sure there are going to be a lot of pitfalls and mistakes I’ll make along the way, but I have a real good feeling that in the end this new path I’m carving for myself is well within my reach. As long as I never give up and keep pushing forward, then I’m sure I’ll eventually create my own version of paradise.

With at least an outline of my future plans in place, my body had now healed up enough to allow me to lift myself back onto my feet, still feeling some serious aches and pains here and there, but it wasn’t enough to leave me immobilised on the floor anymore.

Now back on my feet, I gaze up at the dark clouds one last time for the day, no longer seeing them as something to fear or conquer, replaced with a feeling of hope and pride, smiling to myself knowing I had made it so far and no longer had to see this massive mountain as an obligation to climb but instead a fun challenge to tackle at my own pace.

Will I ever make it to the very top and discover if the paradise that everyone spoke about is actually real?

I wouldn’t have a single clue, and that was okay, because even if I never make it to the top, then at least I know without a doubt-

I made it pretty damn close

-

Fin