The tour bus rattled and shook along the cracked highway. Saber sat across the table from Julie who’d been scowling out the window for the past twenty miles. 

Saber was reminded of sitting across from his mother after a failed audition. The only difference being that he actually cared about letting Julie down. Her disappointment weighed down his shoulders and left a bitter taste in his mouth. 

Logically, Saber knew this disappointment was different from his mother’s pointed rage and silent judgement. It was coming from a place of genuine care. To Julie, Saber was more than just his career. He was a living breathing person. 

To Julie, Saber was still the vulnerable, exploited child star she’d dedicated her life to. She’d nearly cried when Saber told her she’d make a good mom. Perhaps it was that connection, that care, that intimacy they shared, that made her distress all the more painful. 

“We’re canceling Memphis,” Julie finally spoke after eons of painful silence. 

Saber looked down at his hands and nodded, too afraid to speak and disappoint her further. 

“The company wants you to do three performances at home. One of them will be performed to an empty venue and streamed to the public. We’ll have a week to prepare after we get home.” 

Saber nodded again. 

“This isn’t a punishment, Saber,” Julie’s tone softened. 

Saber looked up. She was smiling sadly at him. He swallowed shakily, “I know.” 

“Then why do you look like you’re headed to the gallows?” 

Saber shrugged and bit the inside of his cheek. He hated lying to Julie. It made his skin itch and his jaw ache. But he couldn’t tell her the truth. She’d never believe him. She’d get that worried wrinkle between her eyebrows and chew her lip until it bled. 

It was easier to let her believe he was fatigued from the tour and the incident with the press. If he kept doing other things to feel ashamed about it would mask the pain he felt deceiving her. 

***

When the bus hissed to a stop outside of Saber’s apartment complex he couldn’t bring himself to get up. It wasn’t until the bus driver poked his head around the corner and informed them of their arrival with a ‘get off the damn bus so I can finally sleep’ edge that Saber was able to pull himself together. 

As he walked towards the entrance the driver blocked his path. Saber eyed him cautiously. 

“Excuse me,” He gently prompted the driver to move so he could exit. 

Instead of complying as Saber expected, the driver grabbed Saber’s shoulder. He stared into Saber’s eyes intently with an unwarranted burning intensity. 

[Saber, close your eyes] 

Echo’s voice was slow and cautious. Like he was carefully toeing his way along an icy lake, testing if it could hold his weight. 

Saber complied, but the driver didn’t look any different. Or at least, he didn’t look significantly different. His eyes had an unnatural glow to them. Compared to Hawks— the only other person Saber intentionally viewed under the veil —the eyes felt inconsequential. 

Especially as the disgusting eyeball vines were sprouting from the bus’ radio over the driver’s shoulder. 

[Focus] 

Echo snapped. Saber turned his eyes back to the driver with considerable effort. The driver’s lips were moving. Forming some silent sentences. To Saber’s immense bewilderment; when he opened his eyes, the driver was mid sentence. He’d been talking the whole time. Saber hadn’t heard it despite being within arms reach of him.

“…and once you’re done with this little break I’ll be happy to..” 

Saber closed his eyes again. The words cut out. 

It hadn’t been like this with Hawks, right? Saber couldn’t recall. 

The driver’s lips moved faster and with more aggression. Saber wondered if the driver was yelling at him. When he opened his eyes the driver’s expression was soft and kind. 

“Take all the time you need, kiddo. I just wanna see you get better, ok?” 

Saber nodded slowly, fighting the urge to push the driver’s hand off and shove past him. 

Had they ever been this close? Saber couldn’t even remember the driver’s name. Not that that was shocking. This driver was just a replacement for Saber’s usual driver while she was out on maternity leave. This driver had been with them for less than a month. A week of which Saber spent in a hotel.  

“Uh…thanks?” Saber murmured awkwardly, hopeful the driver was ready to let Saber pass. 

“Don’t be a stranger!” The driver said cheerfully. Ruffling Saber’s hair and NOT getting out of Saber’s way. 

Saber pressed his lips together and nodded nervously. He snuck another peak under the veil. Was the glow in the driver’s eyes brighter? And why did the place his hand sat on Saber’s shoulder burn? 

Before Saber could check his shoulder, Julie pushed through. Breaking them apart and, mercifully, clearing Saber’s path to the exit. 

Saber didn’t bother unpacking. He burst through his bedroom door and threw himself into his sheets. They smelled like dried flowers. The faint scent of his detergent mixed with dust and disuse. 

[Wow!] 

As always, Echo’s voice startled Saber. How long would it take to grow used to the other man’s omnipresence? 

“What’s wow?”

[There are… more florals than I expected]

Saber looked out over his room. While it was true he favored floral patterns he didn’t think there were an outrageous amount. Well he hadn’t…until Echo said something about it. 

The cream colored wallpaper had raised detailing in the shape of daisies. The curtains were covered in purple petals of various shades. Even the bedding Saber was clutching to his chest was dusted with cherry blossom petals. 

Self consciously, Saber dropped the sheets, “I…my mother liked flowers.” 

[Were you and your mother…close?]

Saber remained silent; his jaw uncomfortably tight. 

[Will you be able to rest now?]

Sharing a mind had some benefits. Echo tactfully shifted the conversation. 

“Not in the traditional sense,” Saber teased before falling backwards onto the bed. 

Oh, the overhead light was shaped like a bundle of lilies. 

[Ok, I see how that response can feel unhelpful. Please elaborate] 

“I’ll need to continue my vocal and dance training throughout the ‘break,’” 

Saber rolled over and opened the drawer on his bedside table. He pulled out his planner. It was shockingly empty.The scratching hum of pen against paper filled the silence in Saber’s apartment. 

It always felt so empty after a tour. Saber said he preferred silence, but in moments like this, he doubted himself. 

A soft buzzing sound pulled Saber out of his musings. The vibration pattern told Saber it was an unknown number. He pulled his phone out, ready to silence it and let it ring out, when Echo spoke. 

[Answer that] 

Without pausing to consider why he was so willing to obey Echo’s every command, Saber accepted the call. He tapped the ‘speaker’ icon and set his phone on the table in front of him. 

On the other end of the call Saber could hear shuffling and an indignant huff. 

“Saber Panmol?” 

The voice was feminine. Husky with a subtle accent Saber couldn’t place but somehow recognized. It wasn’t just the accent, her whole voice was familiar. Especially the way she said Saber’s name. 

Wait!

”How do you know my name?” 

Saber stared down at his phone as if it was brandishing a gun at him. He leaned away on instinct before catching himself and cringing. 

“Anyone who’s opened up social media or any news app knows your name.” The woman on the other end of the phone sounded disproportionately pissed at Saber.  

Some foreign, primal instinct Saber had never felt before compelled him to clap his hands over his ears. He resisted. 

Saber swallowed the lump of childish fear in his throat and snapped back at her with the same venom, “Not that name. Who are you? What do you want?” 

“This is about what you need from me!” 

“What do I-“

[Jesus, Filla…]

”Filla?” Saber cut himself off as Echo spoke. 

On the other end of the line Saber heard a victorious shout followed by, “I KNEW he got stuck with- I told you!” 

More muffled shuffling. The voice came back, this time sharper. 

“He’s with you, isn’t he?” 

“Who?” Saber had a pretty good guess who ‘he’ was but thought it best to play it safe. 

“Who do you think!” The woman, Filla, laughed bitterly, “My brother you selfish prick! Aniktos Sincalire! The so-called hero you’re eternally grateful towards!”