“Do as I asked, please,” I said, my tone quiet but firm.

  We were standing on the university grounds. All around us, students lounged in small clusters, laughing, talking, busy with their own little worlds. Among them sat Rowan, surrounded by his usual circle, Jake and Alax.

  I had asked Nora to approach Jake, not because she liked him, but because I needed a reason to be near Rowan. David was against the idea from the beginning. He saw right through me, but I promised him, once I figured out whatever was going on between Rowan and Sophia, I’d help him with Nora. Reluctantly, he gave in.

  “Seriously? How am I supposed to be friends with Jake?” Nora muttered, folding her arms.

  “You can just go there. Rowan is your partner,” she added, trying to offer me an easier route.

  “Rowan’s not... approachable. He only talks when we work on assignments,” I admitted, my voice small.

  After a long moment, Nora sighed. “Fine. But just this once.”

  Together, we walked across the lawn toward their group. Rowan was typing something on his laptop. Alax leaned over to say something, and Jake laughed at whatever it was.

  “Hi, Jake,” Nora said casually.

  Jake turned, surprised. His face lit up. “Wait, you came to me?” he asked, clearly stunned and thrilled.

  I watched him, guilt creeping in. I knew what I was doing. I was using Jake’s feelings, and that wasn’t fair. But right now, I was being selfish. All I wanted was to be near Rowan, even if it meant standing on someone else’s heart to reach him.

  “Uh… can we talk about the assignment?” Nora asked, shifting awkwardly.

  Jake blinked. “But yesterday you said you’d do it alone.”

  “Yeah… I did. But now I……I need your help,” she said, trying to sound natural.

  Jake beamed and grabbed his bag. “Okay! Let’s go!”

  “No, let’s just do it here,” Nora said, sitting down on the grass.

  “Sure!” Jake sat back beside her, trying to play it cool.

  David joined them seconds later, taking the spot beside them, subtle, but deliberate. He didn’t say much, but his presence made one thing clear: he was watching.

  Alax moved his bag to make space for me. I sat beside him, right across from Rowan. He didn’t say anything, just looked up for a second, then returned to his laptop screen.

  “So… how’s your assignment going?” Alax asked, glancing over at me with a friendly smile. It was the first time he’d spoken to me directly.

  “It’s almost done,” I said, sneaking a glance at Rowan.

  “Is your partner not good?” Alax teased, grinning.

  “He’s too good, I can’t keep up,” I said, trying to sound light, even playful.

  Alax chuckled, then nudged Rowan. “Hey, your partner’s right here. At least say hello.”

  Rowan looked at me again, just for a second, and gave a small nod.

  That nod, small, simple, felt like a gift. My heart clung to it like it was everything.

  “Here,” Alax said, pulling something from his bag. He handed me a small piece of candy. “It’ll help you deal with rude people,” he joked.

  I laughed softly, pocketing the candy. Alax was kind, genuinely kind. The kind of person you could actually become friends with. And just as I was thinking that, he turned to me.

  “Can we be friends?” he asked.

  I blinked. It was unexpected, but not unwelcome.

  “Of course,” I said, smiling as I shook his hand. “I’d love that.”

  While Nora and Jake worked on the assignment, with David guarding their every inch, Alax and I started chatting. He showed me pictures on his phone, snowy mountains, quiet lakes, winding city streets. He loved traveling. His gallery was a map of all the places I’d only dreamed of visiting.

  And I… I sat there pretending I was okay. Pretending to laugh. Pretending not to care.

  Because the person I wanted to be close to was still right there. Just centimeters away. Yet it felt like he existed on another planet.

  I leaned slightly closer to Alax, lowering my voice.

  “Hey, Alax,” I whispered, keeping my eyes fixed on Rowan. “What kind of relationship does Rowan have with Sophia?”

  He glanced at Rowan, then back at me. “I don’t know,” he said simply.

  “But... you’re his friend,” I said gently, hoping for more.

  “We met here in university during admission,” he replied. “We haven’t known each other long.”

  “Oh…” I said, my voice softening with disappointment.

  Alax noticed. “Is there something you want to know? I can ask him for you.”

  The offer caught me off guard. I paused. Part of me wanted to say yes, desperately. But then I stopped myself.

  We had just become friends. If I started digging too deep, too soon, he’d see right through me. And I didn’t want him to think I only approached him because of Rowan.

  So I shook my head. “No… It’s nothing.”

  Alax gave a small, understanding nod.

  Later, we exchanged Instagram handles and numbers, a small step, but somehow it meant something.

  Because once the assignment ended… I’d have no reason to be near Rowan anymore.

  But now, now that Alax and I were friends, I could stay. Quietly. Indirectly.

  And maybe… just maybe… that would be enough.

  For now.

  But even as I smiled, I knew a truth I didn’t want to admit:

  When you’re blinded by love, you start turning people into stepping stones.

  It’s not right. It’s not fair. But the heart doesn’t weigh fairness when it’s chasing someone it can’t have.

  My love for Rowan… it had become an obsession.

  And I didn’t even realize it.

My comfort note

Dear comfort note,

You remember the person I once mentioned? The one I saw at the café in business attire, Rowan’s friend, Alax?

Well… I talked to him today. And he’s so nice. Too kind, honestly. Even though it was our first real conversation, I didn’t feel any hesitation. He made everything feel so comfortable, so natural. I said whatever I wanted to say… like I didn’t have to hold anything back.

But now I’m feeling guilty. Because, at first, I became friends with him just to get closer to Rowan. That was the truth. But another truth is… when I talked to him, I genuinely felt at ease. Like I really wanted to be his friend. So I can’t say I was completely using him, because somewhere deep down, I truly meant it. I did make him my friend. And he deserves that sincerity.

Still… my obsession for Rowan is growing day by day, and I don’t know how to stop it. Sometimes it feels like I just want him next to me, no matter what.

It’s starting to remind me of a novel I once read, where the protagonist loved a boy who didn’t love her back. But she couldn’t let go. She became obsessed with him. And eventually… somehow… she made him hers. But in that story, the protagonist was kind of a psycho.

And now I’m scared. Am I becoming like her? Am I doing the same thing?

I don’t want this to be an obsession. I want it to be love. Real, honest, beautiful love. But with Rowan… it’s only becoming an obsession. And I don’t know how to pull myself out of it.

I don’t want to lose myself in chasing someone who might never turn around. But at the same time… I still want him. So badly.