I miss her a lot… I miss Maya… Time passes, and I slowly forget her face. I have my phone with me, but it’s not the old phone I had. All those digital memories are gone as well. What is there left for me to cling onto, the old feelings?

I know what I’m doing, but I need to find my happiness. What else is out there for me? I tried calling Cal and Vice, but they haven’t responded… Even when I’m surrounded by so many on that deck, I just don’t have that spark. I don’t feel the life in me that I had. 

I messed my life up. That breakup was a mistake. I was never meant for anyone else because Maya was perfect for me. Sure, we argued, but it’s not impossible to fix it. Right? I know I can’t find that Dr. Wess guy, but I need some hope. I need that purpose back in my life.

What am I doing? What kind of person am I? Why do I still exist? So why did I accept Valorant and Mallory’s help? Why am I being such a burden?

I lay on the ripped couch of an abandoned house. Layers of blankets stack on me. 

“Valeria tends to get really cold, so I figure it’s the same with you,” comments Mallory before dumping so many of them on me. 

Every time I see them hold hands, I think about what I’m fighting for: The chance for that warmth again. I’m used to the muffled talking from upstairs. They bicker, but it’s usually light-hearted and filled with jokes. Sometimes, Valorant plays on the piano as Mallory cheers. 

I always cover my ears when I hear her play. It’s not bad. But I don’t want to relive the bad memories. Those same couple of notes playing over and over. I refuse to touch an instrument ever again.

A couple of days pass by, and I hear a knock. With no one else to answer the door, I open it. I stop in place. Sudan is standing at the porch. Why is she here? 

Her eyes read me as she lets out an “Oh”. 

The human holds her cap tightly, closing her eyes. She takes a deep breath. She quickly counts to 10 — exhaling at 10. 

Opening her eyes, she clears her throat. “I believe I know how to find Dr. West.” 

The human scratches her elbow, tilting her head to lean forward.

She forces a slight smile. “Is Sable here? I, um, owe you two an apology.” 

I try to compose myself. I can’t risk her life by doing nothing.

I step outside to close the door. “Mable isn’t here… Sudan, you shouldn’t be here.”

Her face shifts into confusion to a side tilt. “What?”

Her eyes spring into life. The human straightens herself. 

She turns side to side. “What happened?”

Footsteps approach us! I only hear one step out of time at a consistent pace, and I can’t risk the wrong person showing up. 

I quickly get behind Sudan as I attempt to shield her. 

I say quietly with my arms spread, “Don’t move or speak, please…”

We remain still and silent. 

Mallory’s voice reaches out, “Heyo! It’s about time you get outside once in a while.” 

My body loosens as fog slips through my lips. 

The two humans get acquainted soon after some explaining.

Mallory chuckles.“Oh Ahaha. Star, did you really think Val was gonna hurt this woman?”

“Huh…” Sudan lets out.

The three of us converse as we drink water, well, mostly Sudan and Mallory. Everyone got ice cubes, while I’m the only one with room-temperature water. 

Sudan chugs her glass of water. “So — How’s everyone’s day going on?”

Mallory pours more water onto Sudan’s glass. “Whao, that’s the 4th one in the row! Well…. My day is going pretty well.”

The two glance back at me.

My hand holds my cup, which I have not sipped from. I haven’t had much of a desire to drink much of anything. My appetite too is lacking. I don’t know why.

The innkeeper returns to chugging her glass. She might as well drink the whole fridge. She needs that hydration.

Sudan swipes her mouth. “So, erm. Where’s Sable, if you don’t mind me asking?”

I slip a sigh. “I don’t know. We split days ago — for all I know, she left town.” 

Mallory lights up. “Sable? I saw her sleeping in a car yesterday!” 

My eyes light up. “Er—! Why didn’t you tell me this?!” 

Mallory speaks more in a hushed tone as she leans forward with sharpened eyes, “Well, she told me not to tell ya. Simple as that.” 

Sudan stands up from her chair. “Can you point us to her?!”

Mallory exhales before accepting. “Eyy— Okay… Just don’t tell her I was involved, okay?”

“Of course!” Sudan accidentally knocks her cup over. “Oop! I’ll clean that!”

Mallory nudges us off. “Just go… Pleaseeeeee — and take care of yourself!”

She gives us directions before we head out.

The walk there is mostly quiet. Sudan tries to make light conversation along the way. 

We arrive there, a rusted car at the corner of a parking lot. Junk litters the back of the car seats, but I don’t see her. I don’t want to confront her.

“Maybe she’s not here,” Sudan says. 

I brush my hair. “If she’s not here, then she probably left town. No need to waste our time.” 

Sudan raises her voice, “B—But I need to at least apologize to both of you.” 

I step off. My head lowers. “I want to leave… Just tell me about Dr. Wess on our way out.”

A loud thud hits from the car.

“Fuck!” A muffled voice erupts. 

The trunk pulls up as the Necromized rises with her arms stretching out. “You assholes were disturbing my sleep.” She rolls out of the back. 

Sudan helps her up. I cross my arms as I glance at the trunk, observing a variety of fabrics, clothes, and plushes piled together. A distinct, strong but sweet lemon scent enters my nose.

I don’t dare look at her eyes. The unease I feel around her. She could tell anyone about my secret, and there’s no reason for me to stop that. I cursed myself for telling her about it. I want to leave as soon as possible. Run from my shame.

Mable and Sudan talk for a bit. But eventually Sudan speaks on what’s important, “I’m sorry for kicking both of you. The last couple of days have been… Pardon my French, it’s been fucking rough.” 

The human scratches her elbow as she looks up. 

Sudan exhales.  “I know a guy. He and I used to talk until…” 

She pauses for a second. 

She continues,  “Well, the point is, I looked everywhere for your doctor. Salty Dogg should know where to find him. He’s not normally this friendly…. but he said he would help if you took his job.” Sudan sends us his location before leaving the premises. 

I’m left here… With Mable. I lean against the wall, breathing in and out. Whenever I look at her, it’s always at shoe level. I never noticed that even her boots are horribly stitched together.

“Hey! Ringo Starr! Eyes up here.”

I shift my eyes elsewhere. The lemon scent still lingers.

She continues, “Look at me when I fucking talk to you!” 

I stay silent for a few moments — slight cold brushes through me.

“Erh,” slips her mouth. 

She stops herself before anything. We stay in this silence for minutes.

I hear shuffling in the car — followed by sounds of crinkling and munching. Mable mumbles under her breath, sharing a few audible curses. 

Thud! Thud! Thud! 

I turn to see her kicking the car door. Our eyes meet for the first time in a couple of days.

Her brown eyes narrow. Her lips snarl with her teeth grinding against each other.

“What?” Mable spouts in frustration.

I exhale, leaving a slight fog. 

“Oh, don’t act like this is your stupid car,” Mable forces a chuckle at the end.

I instinctively respond, “I’m not.”

“I’m so fucking happy that you just learned how to talk, again. I thought I was gonna have to deal with mute Star for the entire day.”

She takes several steps out of the car. 

I follow, “Maybe I should be ‘mute Star’.” 

The Necromized responds, “Whatever, asshole. I don’t wanna see you after we find Dr. West.”

We march on.

I ask, “And what about Atom?” 

She crosses her arms. “I can take care of myself. Don’t you have a ‘girlfriend’ to worry about?” 

I open my mouth. I try, but vocalize nothing. 

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

We continue to walk to our objective. My steps are heavy as I hunch over. Mable maintains her stiff posture, holding herself straight up as we move forward. We proceed in this silent march.

We arrive there, at the shop where Sally Don should be. Mable enters, but slams the door in front of me. I open it back to get in. There, the brown wooden interiors greet us, littered with trash and lottery tickets on the floor. The walls are decorated with assortments of animal heads and trophies. The one thing that catches my eye is a unique framed head. The ‘display’ — he carries curly brown hair, stubble, and looks to be in his 20s. 

“You should see what that thing turns into at full moon,” says a man walking by in a sleeveless jean jacket.

 He leans against the chair behind the desk. He lifts his boots on the counter.“So I’m guessing you two are Ringo and Sable.” 

It’s unnerving to see something like that displayed. I don’t see the point of displaying this if you only see the beastly side once in a full moon. Otherwise, it just looks like you’re holding a human as a ‘trophy’. I wouldn’t be able to handle looking at it for so long.

I snap back to reality as Mable waves around. “Yup, this asshole is Ringo Starr, and I’m Sable.”

The human lets out a “huh”. 

He tilts his head as he speaks, “Hrm. ‘Could’ve sworn he was white.” Huh? “Ah, whatever. The name’s Salty Dogg.” What did he mean by this?

Mable leans forward, arms crossed. “I heard you’ll help us find Dr. West if we do your job.” 

The human swishes around in his chair, rotating about. “Yup. So I’ve got trouble lately with, erm, a Mothman.” 

Sally rubs his beard. “You see? Big nasty bugger loves paper so much that it takes whole books with it.” 

The man accidentally knocks over one of his empty cups with his boot. “Shit! Agh, so I’m gonna need that beastly thing’s corpse presented to me, and then we start talking about Dr. West.”

The human checks on the cup he knocked over.

Mable glances over at me for a moment. She scratches her nose.

She turns back to the man. “Hey, do you even have leads on where to find this Mothman?” She spouts. 

“It’s okay, ma’am. I would look into the library. And besides, a seasoned lady like you should know where all the good books go.”

Mable grits her teeth as she slams the counter. “Fuck you! I’m 26.” 

She storms off as the human profusely apologizes. 

I shortly leave after, unable to stand that display. 

I shield my eyes from the beaming sun as I leave. Clankings of metal fly through my ears, making me wonder. I turn a corner and witness the tall woman stomping on a trash can. She looks at me, giving it a last kick. 

Mable walks past my shoulder, pushing me, “We’re going to the library.”