I learnt the partition of Lola in not even 30 minutes. This was indeed easy and the rhythm was a catchy playful one really enlightening Lola’s gift for music. She and Damien did perform in front of me once but I pretended I didn't know my part yet. Purposely, to enhance my mastering of it.

It was not the kind of music I liked to play, I was more into romance songs but who I could court had significantly changed and lowered over the last few years. I felt so fake to play music of things, but the feelings were less intense compared to when I tried to play my own old writings.

I had practiced it a lot, so much the sudden change worried my parents. I found a renewed joy in letting myself carry on the music, despite the blisters.

I trained with them today. Lola was really serious and was ecstatic about our last training performances. She hugged us about the prospect of winning it. 

“With this dream team, I can only win - or impress BamBam owner at least” She thought wishfully of the prospect of playing at the BamBam bar “Thank you Jove” She did murmur in my ear 

It did help a bit focusing on anything but my current state. For a while reuniting with music did light me up a bit until the fever became too much, until my vision blurred, until the nausea was too much to ignore.

Until I felt sudden heat and cold waves and a sensation that was tethered with unknown and certainly : I didn’t have much time left.

I went back to the shop for my package. I had tried calling relentlessly in my car but didn't get any answer: it did ring a few times for the first calls before I was automatically moved to voicemail.

Driving was hard, I almost collided with a misplaced scooter on the road and did have a hard time staying focused. Despite logic this only made me hurry more. 

I almost parked in front of it, not even sure of having locked my door. 

“Where is my package” I ask the less harshly I could 

He sighed “I don’t have it”

“What do you mean? It has been weeks! Why the hell am I paying you for?! You stupid-”

“Listen to me young man” He grabbed the front of my shirt and pulled me closer to him “This is not your local delivery hangouts or your supermarket. You. Pay. Me. because I deliver you items illegally. If you are so unhappy about my services, you can try elsewhere”

Losing more time and energy would be inefficient. I was barely acknowledging him anymore. From the moment I understood I would not get anything from him, I thought of another alternative.

“I can smell the desperation though” He smiled coldly at me, and pulled me even closer to his face “From having you so close”

I stepped back at his innuendo. 

He smiled and murmured frozen words.

I cried to my car 

“Don’t worry I am really sensitive” He yelled 

You poor thing

I was already becoming a thing