Mayor Neil “Nelly” Bottom stood outside on the top row of the police precinct’s steps. The crowd of reporters had already gathered around the podium with their microphones up to receive the word from on high.

“And that is why we need to get rid of, or cure, the homosex-u-auls. This plague is sent to us by God. It is a sign that what we need to do is…” Bottom looked over his shoulder at where Justice glared at him. The balding, soft-everywhere-particularly-in-the-head politician eye-fucked him as if he was paid by the leer. “Love our fellow man.”

With his ninja speed, Merlin stood next to Bottom and spoke into the mic.

“So what you’re saying is that you’re a major Nelly Bottom. It’s okay to love your fellow man, just as long as you don’t love your fellow man?” Merlin flashed a deadly smirk in Justice’s direction. What was he playing at?

Flustered, Mayor Bottom took the mic again, casting Merlin a sidelong glance that wasn’t entirely platonic. “I’m the mayor, not a major.”

Merlin pursed his lips playfully. “Oh, sorry. I’d heard you were a major bottom. My mistake.”

Bottom cleared his throat. “In any case, enough of campaigning. I’m here to introduce you to two new heroes of the city and ZoCOS officers, Officer Justice Kinkead, and this here is Merlin Pride.”

The crowd clapped, and Merlin smiled and waved as if he’d expected to be worshiped his whole life. Justice thought the whole display was disgusting but found himself hurtling into the midst of it. Sucked into that major Bot—Mayor Bottom’s play.

Merlin and Justice received their medals of honor, such as they were, likely old ones pulled off corpses of real detectives. They smiled for the photographer.

Justice had to smack the mayor’s hand off his ass through a few of the photos. Merlin, however, just let Bottom’s hand remain on his firm, pert ass cheek. His expression didn’t change. It was hard for Justice to tell whether Merlin was tolerating the touching, embarrassed, or if he enjoyed being groped by a middle-aged, balding, rotund little turd bucket.

The mayor leaned in to whisper something that must’ve surprised Merlin, because his eyes widened before he steeled over and play punched the mayor.

Merlin muttered as they headed back inside, “Horny old goat.”

After they were dismissed from the stage so the mayor could offer more remarks, Justice pulled Merlin aside.

“You didn’t seem upset about being groped.” Justice tried to keep his emotions in check. It was stupid to feel jealous. Merlin was a total jerk, not to mention spooky, and Justice didn’t want to be involved with him any more than he had to be. Yet, he felt disgusted with Merlin for allowing himself to be manhandled.

And he wanted to know why Merlin had tolerated it.

Merlin shrugged as if sexual harassment wasn’t a big deal and brushed by, headed in the direction of his desk.

Justice wanted to yell, Are you even gay? Do you have any idea the damage that man has done to gay rights, to people’s personhood? But what would be the point? Merlin would give a glib Merlin-style answer, and Justice would be twice as angry.

Then where would that leave them?