Varian was pulled out of his thoughts when Kacey tucked a piece of his own hair behind his ear.

“What’s up with you and Hazel? You fighting or something?” Kacey nudged him with his knee. “Come on. You can tell me.”

“We’re not.”

Kacey frowned. He sat the sandwich down and leaned back. He stretched his arms over his head. His shirt rode up. Varian caught a glimpse of his lightly tanned skin and light dusting of hair that made up his happy trail. Varian looked away and focused on the label on the empty milk carton.

He was about to change the subject when Kacey ruffled his hair.

He scowled. “Don’t treat me like some dog.”

Kacey gave him another pat on the head. “Sure.”

The smile he gave Varian then didn’t reach his eyes. It wasn’t like the smile he’d given Varian when they’d been alone in the forest together. It felt colder somehow.

Varian stared at Kacey. It felt like he was staring forever, but though he wanted to look away, he was too caught up in the moment to actually do it. 

Kacey stared right back. He pulled his hand away, yet, he hesitated. With his hand in the air, he cocked his head. His mouth parted.

He was going to say something.

But he didn’t. 

He closed his mouth and just kept smiling.

Varian’s heart was stuck in his throat. That seemed to be happening a lot lately.

Varian looked at Padriac and Mary. They were watching him and Kacey.

They didn’t look confused. 

They looked like they knew something Varian didn’t.

Mary put her elbows on the table, shoving her tray away from her.

“So. About this party…”

***

Varian wasn’t sure how he’d gotten wrapped up in this. What he wanted to be doing was sitting in bed, resisting the urge to slide the blade against his skin, and try to not remember the fuzzy memories of when he was kidnapped.

However, life had a funny way of showing how much it fucking hated him. Instead of lying in bed and contemplating his existence, he was being hauled up to the front door of an unknown house.

They were once again in the middle of nowhere. But being that they lived in an already small town, it wasn’t technically out in the middle of nowhere. They were ten miles away from city limits which meant that whoever was throwing the party could blare their music as loud as they wanted and the police weren’t going to be knocking anytime soon to see if teens were getting drunk off their asses.

Mary had parked her tiny blue car in the ditch in front of the large tan house in the last available spot. There were about thirty cars crowding in the front yard to be as close to the house as possible. There were already people stumbling about and shouting at each other.

Varian wasn’t new to the party scene. Though he was quiet and wasn’t the type of person to seek out trouble, he’d somehow found himself drifting toward the sort of people who got high on the weekdays and partied until they couldn’t remember their names on the weekends. 

His friends weren’t the sort of people who were going to go to college and fit in with the “business” crowd. They were going to live their lives however the fuck they pleased.

And they weren’t going to give a shit about whatever anyone thought about it.

Varian wasn’t going to try and change that. It wasn’t like he could talk any sense into them now. They’d made their choices in life already.

Mary threw open the back car door and hauled him out before he could say a word.

“I know you’re going to make a run for it if I don’t shove your ass in myself.”

Kacey snorted. “You’re going to pull his arm off if you’re not careful.”

“Yeah,” Padriac said. He took a drag of his almost gone cigarette. “He’s not your kid.”

He blew a smoke cloud right in Varian’s face. Varian coughed, batting the smoke away.

“Can you not?”

Padriac smirked. He grabbed the back of Varian’s neck. 

“On second thought, maybe we should loosen him a bit up before—“

Varian put his hand over Padriac’s mouth. “No.”

Padriac stopped unexpectedly. He blinked down at Varian’s hand, eyes going crossed. 

Varian didn’t know what had shocked him so much until he realized that he was touching Padriac. He yanked his hand away. 

He was shocked himself that he wasn’t entirely repulsed by the touch. It was the same with Kacey. Anyone else and he would have been sick to his stomach.

Mary rolled her eyes as she grabbed onto Padriac’s arm. She smiled up at him. “And you were telling me to leave him alone?”

Her eyes shifted to Varian. When their eyes met, Varian felt his heart drop again. He was starting to become used to this feeling. The feeling like he was on the edge of a cliff and someone was right behind him. It would only take a light push and he would be gone. He’d hit the rocky and freezing waters below, splattering like red paint on a finished painting. 

The second lingered for far longer than what was normal or that was needed. He didn’t know what she was thinking—she looked as if she was seeing something she’d been looking for. A shiver started at the base of his spine, but it was killed when Kacey wrapped his arm around his waist.

He let out a squeak that didn’t sound like himself at all. Kacey raised a brow while Mary and Padriac laughed.

He hated them so much. Though, on a deeper level, he was glad he didn’t have to fight for them to pay attention to him. There was an unsettling feeling in the pit of his gut that made him question whether he should be more afraid of the weird dynamic that was forming between them.

But he couldn’t find a reason why there should be anything wrong with how they were acting.

Everything was fine. He really believed that at the moment and it had been a long time since he could say it without lying.

The three of them surrounded him as they moved to the front door. It was a longer walk to the porch since they’d parked by the road and the house was built further away. Which meant he had a decent amount of time for his anxiety to get worse. 

When they made it to the front door, he was second guessing once again and thought about booking it to the car. They probably didn’t want to spend the entire night chasing him down and dragging him back to the party.

But he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He didn’t want to ruin anything for anyone. He didn’t want to be a burden no matter if they nagged him into coming in the first place.

Mary didn’t bother to knock. She barged in like it was her own house. Varian didn’t know her relationship with her other fiends so it might be true. Kacey and Padriac had a few other friends Varian didn’t know, but they weren’t social butterflies like Mary.

They didn’t seem like the type to really care to get along with everyone. 

The moment the door opened Varian was blasted with heavy bass music. The music had been getting steadily louder the close they got to the house, but it was nothing like it was when they were actually inside.

Varian froze in the short hallway. Kacey bumped into him. His hand on Varian’s waist tightened.

“Are you okay?”

Varian couldn’t open his mouth for a moment. 

There were so many people in just this one room. They were moving along each other, pushing and shoving without a care. Some were grinding on one another to the beat of the music while others were just simply trying to get out of the massive crowd that had grown in the small walkway.

To the right of him, he could see the large living room area had been turned into a dance floor of sorts. There was another room connected to the large space that he guessed was a family room. Both rooms looked overpacked.

The cars out front hadn’t given him a hint of how many people were going to be inside. 

He gulped. His hands were already drenched with sweat. He thought he might pass out. He was also afraid that if he passed out he’d get trampled on.

He clenched his teeth, more afraid now than ever. 

Kacey leaned in. His lips almost grazed Varian’s ear. “You’ll be fine.”

Varian slightly shook his head.

He would have been fine before things changed. He wouldn’t of cared if there were thousands of people swapping spit right in front of him. He sure as Hell wouldn’t have cared if his friends dragged him to a party he didn’t want to go to. But now, he cared about this more than anything. He couldn’t stop thinking about all the germs in the air, how he couldn’t take a small breath without maybe inadvertently exchanging spit, or that he wasn’t safe from wandering hands.

Maybe he did need a drink.

Maybe more than one too.

For the first time in a long time, Varian grasped onto Kacey’s arm. He pulled him toward him, not caring if his warm body was pressed against his own. He was exchanging one evil for another.

“Get me as drunk as you can.”

Kacey was speechless. He gaped at Varian. 

Varian’s stomach sunk. Had he made a bad choice?

Then, a smile spread over Kacey’s face that was too bright for Varian. It made Kacey look too innocent for his own good.

“Oh, I won’t have any problem doing that.”