Merlin’s body stretched as if he was reaching up for something. Then a finger’s width of light appeared. Under his breath, Merlin was saying something. His body vibrated with the magic the words were generating. As more light filtered in, Justice could see Merlin’s hand shaping the darkness, carving it away until it gave in to even more light.

As he crouched, it appeared that Merlin was drawing a long line down, then across at their feet, and up again in a crude rectangle that formed a door.

After they walked through, an alarm sounded.

Merlin peered around. Apparently his eyes adjusted to the light faster. “This place is a mess.”

Oh shit.

Justice released Merlin’s waist and rubbed his eyes until they stopped stinging from the shock of dark to light. Then he went to the keypad and shut off the apartment alarm. “Um. Yeah. Sorry about that. Despite stereotypes, I’m not really, uh, neat.”

Merlin smirked as he scanned the living room. It wasn’t as bad as it could have been. For the most part, the stylish, stark, brushed-steel furniture was littered with empty food containers, unfolded laundry in baskets, and newspapers. All right, maybe he needed to dust and vacuum, but he had been very busy with his job. “Apparently not.”

“Oh, fuck you!” Justice laughed as he crossed his arms over his chest. He could still smell Merlin on him, and his mind flashed to that dream, to being bent over the couch, filled to splitting and begging for more.

Not appropriate thoughts. Not now, not ever. Justice tried to shake out of it and focus on Lewis, who should be coming out of the guest bedroom any minute now.

At the time that the zombie apocalypse happened, Lewis had been staying in the guest bedroom, even though it was technically his apartment. Without knowing what else to do with him, Justice had locked him in there. Lewis as a zombie had never been aggressive, but if he hadn’t been locked in, he probably would’ve tried to go to his job. As a lawyer, his zombie self wouldn’t have been welcome. Apparently none of the other lawyers had become zombies, but the mail staff had.

Now that Merlin was in the condo, Justice was questioning everything. He hadn’t really heard of too many white-collar zombies, in general. Not that he’d asked or even thought about it. But the news had always said that the zombies went right back to work. How would they manage that in anything but the most basic jobs?

Not that this was what he needed to be thinking about right this minute.

“Justice, are you okay?” Merlin walked to him, his head tilted with concern. “Is this not where your, uh, friend is?”

Merlin’s gaze shifted to the fireplace mantel, where a big framed picture of Justice and Lewis, smiling while on vacation in Maui, sat. If Merlin had been fuzzy on the nature of the relationship between Justice and Lewis before then, he certainly wasn’t now. He returned his attention to Justice.

“It is. It’s just…um…” Justice stared up into Merlin’s pale eyes, moving from one to the other, down the length of his pointy nose, finally to his plush lips that were slightly parted as if he was about to say something.

Before either of them could, Justice rolled onto his toes and mashed their lips together.

Merlin sprang back. His face was bright red, eyes wide and wild. His breath came out in puffs that blew his long blond hair that had come loose from his face.

What is wrong with me? Justice should check on Lewis. He should be the good boyfriend, the good ex, and make sure he was all right. And yet, as he stood there, staring at Merlin’s flustered face, it occurred to Justice that this may be it. He may never have this moment again. Whether Lewis was alive or dead, something would change for Justice. He would no longer be this Justice standing with this Merlin. It was all about to change and Justice wasn’t sure he was ready.

Justice watched Merlin’s reaction in horror, but before he could start torturing himself, Merlin’s expression resolved into determination.

Oh shit, he’s going to kill me.

Merlin’s outstretched hand shook as he advanced, but instead of slapping Justice or hexing him, he grabbed Justice by the back of the neck and pulled him close. His lips opened Justice’s, and his tongue came through in an all-consuming rush. It was the way Justice had always wanted to be kissed, in a completely engrossing way that claimed him all the way to his toes.

The kiss made Justice’s knees go weak, but Merlin caught him, holding him up as he sucked Justice’s tongue. Their lips met, teeth clashing with the sheer neediness of the connection. Sexual intensity vibrated the room. Or maybe it was Merlin’s magic.

Justice clung to him, sliding his hands over Merlin’s chest, wanting to feel those abs. He slipped his hands under Merlin’s jacket, and then Justice wrapped his arms around the other man. God, but Merlin was a good kisser. It felt so good to be held; flashes of his dream intruded on the moment, making him hard.

Not wanting Merlin to feel it, Justice pulled his hips back, only to have Merlin grab him by the waist to pull them flush against one another. Justice felt so good, so wanted. He had been fighting what they were doing, but if he were being totally honest, he had fantasized about this scenario ever since Merlin had bent him over the desk. Justice brought his hands back to Merlin’s chest and he started to undo the buttons. Their cocks rubbed together, and it felt so good, so perfect. He didn’t want it to end.

So, of course, it would.

It had to. That was Justice’s life.

Having opened Merlin’s shirt, Justice started unbuckling his pants. There, Merlin froze. He put his hands over Justice’s, then brought them up so he could kiss Justice’s knuckles.

Justice wanted to shout. That wasn’t enough. Not nearly enough. “What?”

A smug look passed over Merlin’s visage before his expression turned sober. “Lewis.”

Lewis. Right.

Merlin dropped Justice’s hands. “You don’t want him to be freshly alive and walk in on this, do you?”

In truth, Justice had gotten so caught up in the moment, he didn’t know why he started the kiss. Then again, Lewis was hardly a saint. Hell, he may want to just join in.

Justice wasn’t sure how to feel about that potential scenario. “It’s complicated. We were kind of open.” Sure, they were openish. Mostly Lewis saw other people and Justice focused on his job, but the point was, Lewis should be able to deal with this. Right?

Nodding, Merlin took a step back. “I see.”

Did he?

Merlin scanned the room, finally fixing on the room with the closed door. Seeing it appeared to make him deeply sad. He turned to Justice with his head lowered.

Justice folded his arms. Fine. Despite his rationalizations, he wouldn’t have wanted Lewis to walk in on them making out. As much as it hurt when Lewis had seen other people, and as satisfying as that might be if he were to find Justice in Merlin’s arms, that wasn’t how he wanted to play this. It wasn’t who Justice was.

Of course, he didn’t know how he wanted to play it. In the moment where Justice kissed Merlin, he felt the opportunity of being with Merlin slipping away. If Lewis was alive, Justice would feel obligated to try to work it out, wouldn’t he? Who knew what kind of shape Lewis would be in? He may need someone to guide him back into acting like a sentient being.

If Lewis wasn’t alive, Justice would need to mourn. There wasn’t any way around it; his and Merlin’s timing was just off. There was no way for their relationship to go any further than it had.

The moment Justice had with Merlin, he took. As he saw it, that was their chance, the one opportunity they had to make a go of something that was obviously sparking between them. It was over now. Surprisingly, the idea of not being with Merlin left Justice feeling more heartbroken than the idea of living without Lewis.

Justice stared at the closed door. One way or another, he needed to deal with Lewis. It was possible that Lewis wouldn’t even want him. Maybe his ex-lover was just sitting in the guest room listening to them, trying to choose a good time to present himself to Justice. Or maybe he heard them and was silently suffering.

Pointing at the door, Justice said, “I should…”

Merlin didn’t meet his eyes, just stood to the side to let him pass. “I’ll be out here until you tell me to leave.”

The situation was awkward, but Justice appreciated Merlin being there for him. Justice licked the remnants of their kiss from his lips and held on to that as both his sustenance and secret.

He opened the door slowly, not sure what to expect.

The room was silent, sunny from the midmorning sun. Usually zombie Lewis paced, as if he was trying to remember something important but couldn’t.

He wasn’t pacing. The room was still and smelled rank.

It took Justice a moment to spot Lewis, bloated on the floor in front of the door to the closet. He wore a suit like he had on court days.

“Lewis?” But Justice knew Lewis wasn’t just resting. He was gone.

In spite of the smell, Justice took a deep, fortifying breath and knelt before his corpse. Though the routine was useless, Justice had to be sure. He pressed his fingers against Lewis’s wrist to check for a pulse. There hadn’t been one in months.

The strange gleam to Lewis’s eyes when he was animated undead was gone. Instead, all he had was a blank stare and a rictus smile, as if whatever end he’d met was a good one. There was that, at least.

Laying his hand over Lewis’s face, Justice drew his eyelids down. He took Lewis’s hand. It was so cold.

Justice looked up at the fan gently whirring as normal. But the world wasn’t normal. Lewis was gone.

He let all the anger and frustration, the closure he’d never get, the heartbreak, all of it out in a loud wail as tears streamed down his face.

Every day he’d spent hoping, wanting, and dreaming about Lewis’s return. For the time where he could hash it out, tell him what he really thought of the open relationship, that he was going to leave. Or, if it turned out that Lewis needed care, he would’ve figured that out. Maybe their relationship would be more like it had been at the start. He’d had so many fantasies about what saying good-bye or reconciling would be like, and yet, at the last minute, Justice had betrayed Lewis right outside this room. Justice had kissed another. Not just kissed, no, he wanted Merlin, and he had for some time. The attraction was deep, filled with danger and the spark of mystery and possibility. It was all the things Lewis and Justice were not.

Merlin was all the things Justice thought he wanted and needed from a relationship. But what did that mean anyway? Surely the spark would die with Merlin. They weren’t even the same species, as far as he knew.

Justice was a Gray, whatever the fuck that meant. Merlin was some magic thing, and worse—if Merlin wasn’t the one who cast these spells, he was related to the one who did.

Or…

Justice jumped up from Lewis’s side and ran into the living room, where Merlin stood like a pallbearer. He must’ve known Lewis was dead. Hell, maybe Merlin had killed Lewis himself. What did Justice really know about Merlin anyway?

Before Merlin could speak, Justice grabbed him by the lapels. “Bring him back.”

Merlin at least had the decency to look stricken as he shook his head. He made no move to defend himself, just allowed Justice to push him against a wall. “I can’t. That’s not how it works. I can’t create life.”

“But you had all of those trophies for magic! You are smart!” Justice shook Merlin, rattling his head against the wall. “Smartest one of all them, aren’t you?”

Merlin put his hands over Justice’s and squeezed until he was forced to let go. “Smart has nothing to do with it. I’m not God. I’m not even a god. The best I can do is to make him a zombie. A real zombie. Not the nicer ones you know.”

“Do it!” Justice tried to grab Merlin again but was batted away.

“No.” The suggestion seemed to offend Merlin, but he remained.

“You can’t tell me no! It’s your fault he’s dead!” The words flew out of Justice’s mouth, and they felt good to say, but he knew it wasn’t true. Lewis’s death was Justice’s fault because of that kiss. Justice dropped to his knees.

Merlin followed him to the floor and tried to scoop him up into a hug, but Justice fought his way out of it. Tears streamed down his face. “That breeze. It’s magic, isn’t it? You did this, didn’t you? Came down here to see your work and mock us Grays.”

That insult hit home. Merlin twitched, but he didn’t stop trying to offer comfort to Justice. “No. I didn’t. Nor would I.”

Lashing out was good, though he felt another tiny crack in his heart each time his abuse found its home and Merlin’s calm devolved into something sadder and lonelier. “Yeah, you did. It was you.”

“No.” Merlin stopped trying to hold Justice and just sat on his knees, shaking his head. His voice sounded muffled, as if he was crying. With his head down, Merlin’s hair covered his face, so Justice couldn’t verify.

Justice brought his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. Lewis was gone. Dead. No more arguments, no more worries, but also, there was no way Justice could ever make things right. This was his punishment for looking elsewhere. And who did he try to hook up with but the sort of monster who could cast a spell like this. That was what Merlin was. He called himself a wizard, but clearly he was a monster.

Justice observed Merlin’s defeated posture. It was as if he knew Justice had figured him out. At that moment, Justice didn’t think he’d ever loathed anyone as much as he loathed Merlin. It didn’t matter that it was possible that none of this was his fault or that he knew Merlin had been trying to be supportive and help. At the moment, all Justice wanted to do was hurt him. “Get out.”