(Madison's POV)

I’m tired…

I’m just, so, tired.

This morning has been rough enough as it is, and I don’t want to get out of bed, but Kay drags me out of it anyway.

Please, leave me alone!

I just want to be left alone…

The apathy is too much that I don’t even care enough to want to care about the fact that I can’t care. I only want to go back to sleep and pray that I’ll see him again. I know it’s selfish, but he was selfish for leaving me in the first place. 

Why? Why did he do it?

You said you love me! How is this love?!

“Come, on, Maddy, you can’t keep sleeping. It’s the weekend, and you need to have a little fun, and eat, so come on.”

It’s not going to matter anyway.

No one knows, which I’m glad because that’s kind of the point, but, let’s just say, I don’t keep anything down for too long. At first, it was because I didn’t have the self-control not to eat in the first place, so it seemed like the rational enough way to go, and the irony now is that I don’t care enough to eat because I ‘haven’t been keeping anything down’.

I didn't think at the time about my medication coming up too, so, it’s sort of, not been working, and now I remember when I’m not supposed to. Again.

“Fine!”

I give in and let Kay drag me to the kitchen with everyone else but Mom.

Is she still asleep?

I assume so, and realize that maybe we shouldn’t be up either, or at least not making such a racket.

“So, you managed to get the feral thing out of bed?” Jonathan says, laughing, probably a little too loud before I shoot him a dirty look. One reflected back to me from Sydney who is standing next to him making coffee I assume for Mom.

“You know you don’t have to be in here. We would be just fine if you weren't, so, you can, just go back to bed with that sour attitude.”

You don’t think that I want to!

I hold back frustrated tears as I am only in here in the first place to be nice, yet no one besides Kay would even care if I was gone entirely.

Maybe I should just run away. It’s not like anyone else cares about me. Forget them, forget him, if no one cares about me, then I’ll just disappear entirely.

“Stop, don’t listen to her, Maddy, we want you here.”

Sydney snorts to herself before speaking under her breath too loud not to purposely antagonize me.

“Yeah, no, she’s not.”

“Well, you know what, forget all of you! I’m over this. Thanks, Kay, but it’s clear that no one really cares about me, and I couldn’t care less about them.”

I don’t even pay attention to how loud I’m being as I’m about to storm off before Mom actually storms in.

“What the Heck is wrong with ALL OF YOU! Seriously?! I work my butt off to support you all, and yet, this is how you repay me? You just don’t care that I would like to have One Weekend, ONE WEEKEND! To sleep in? No right? Because Mom will get over it. Well, GET OUT! ALL OF YOU OUT!”

We stand there in shock for a moment, before she yells again.

“NOW!”

And we all start to scatter as Kay pulls me to the side.

“Hey, grab your things, and meet me at my car.”

I do that, feeling worse than before, but now at myself for how selfish I was being.

Good job, this is your fault.

“You could still leave. This is is the perfect time. No one knows that you’re awake, and you can say that your mom kicked you out.” Peter speaks to me over my shoulder, but I’m not so sure if he’s my Peter or not. It’s too muggy to know the truth.

Why can’t I be in love with you? Why does it have to be…

I still can’t bring myself to think of his name because it hurts too much too.

…him. This isn’t fair!

No, stop. We can’t keep being stuck today. Not when it already costs everyone.

I shake my head slightly so that he knows my answer.

I still need to do this the right way.

My plan is to finish school, and then the night after graduation, I’ll be gone.

But first, I need to see him one more time.

I need to know for sure that he doesn’t love me anymore.