Liam clasped his hands over the blanket, knuckles pale and bruised with all he could not yet release. Tongue-tied, Anton’s eyes were stunned. In the silence that lingered between them, heavy but not unkind. Anton thought of the right words to say to the young master he had served for the past nine years. He did not wish to hurt Liam, knowing too well the ache of being left alone through life. 

Eyes cast down, Liam was waiting for him to say something. Anything. Just anything. Whether it would be pity or feeling sorry for what he couldn’t do to protect himself. The tighter his grip on the blanket, the more desperate he was to know what Anton saw in him as a person. Does he see me as a wimp? Am I that stupid not to call for help? These words ran through his restless thoughts. 

“Sir…Liam,” Anton said softly, balling his fists on his sides. Liam's eyes grew wide in disbelief. His eyes were teary, shaking as his hands trembled. It was the first time he heard Anton call his name. A name that was given to him, but never once heard from his parents…at all. Sunlight filtered softly through the blinds, pointing stripes on the floor where silence lingered like a patient guest. 

Anton couldn’t hold it any longer. He had to give him an answer that his heart could accept, that it could swallow without breaking. So he sat on the edge of the hospital bed. He wanted to hold his hand, to assure him that he was comforted. But he held himself from doing so. 

“At first…I was jealous of you,” Anton said as his lips curled into a soft grin, and Liam looked at him in disbelief. Anton’s eyes drifted to his right for a second as if he were ashamed, then locked eyes with Liam. “You know…my family is poor. We don’t have parents to support us. So, as the eldest, I needed to be strong to support my siblings. I work different jobs, day and night, and get enough rest to get by. My other siblings could go to school, while the young ones were looked after by Granny Lou, our neighbor,” he said. He didn’t show any regret for what he did.  His face remained calm, unreadable, as if nothing had shifted at all. 

Liam was listening to him quietly. He never once listened to anyone’s story. Perhaps, right at this moment, he had no one to turn to. 

“I was grateful. She was kind enough to look after my siblings,” Anton smiled. Slightly, he scratched his right cheek with his right pointer finger. “So, when Uncle Bert told me that Madam was looking for a driver, I left my night shift job because the pay was good, and I could look after my siblings in the evenings.” He spoke truthfully. The steady hum of the air conditioner filled the silence, as if the room itself were eavesdropping on the story of their lives. 

“That’s when I saw you under the tree. You were reading quietly, and you looked calm and peaceful,” Anton added, his eyes cast down, as though sharing the chapters of his life was shaped by sacrifices and unspoken grief. 

Seeing you live freely and carefree, I was jealous that you could do the things you like and love, while I never did for myself when I was young. So when I looked at you, a part of me felt that I had lost so many privileges. Not that I hate what my life turned into, but it’s just that I was born ordinary, destined for simplicity rather than the gilded lives of others.” He said, looking at Liam, who seemed guilty of something, not looking at him. The room was quiet, a soft, weighty pause where neither knew whether to speak or simply let the silence speak for them. 

Anton gathered his courage. Slowly and gently, he held Liam’s left hand, who looked at him, stunned. Anton smiled sincerely at Liam, letting the silence comfort him with his warm hands. 

“So, Sir Liam, I never…once pity you,” Anton said, holding Liam’s hand, whose tears slipped down his face. “Rather, I feel sorry. No. I am so sorry…for not being able to stand by your side when you’re at your worst,” he added, his heart throbbed. Deep inside him, he felt useless for not being able to protect Liam. The hum of the air conditioners, the faint shuffle of the linen, even the ticking of a distant clock seemed loud in the stillness between them.

Liam sobbed, hoarsely, each breath catching as though even speaking hurt. Those were the words he had been waiting all his life for his parents to tell him―that they failed to be by his side. Words that he would never be able to hear, even when he begged for them.