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MIRAGIA

The Self I Once Was [3]

The Self I Once Was [3]

Apr 11, 2026

I don’t know how much time had passed, but eventually, my consciousness began to return. My eyes trembled before slowly opening.

Deep down, I had hoped that when I awoke, I would find myself back in my room—sitting casually, hands on the keyboard and mouse, staring at the screen, playing games as usual—and that everything I had gone through had been nothing more than a nightmare.

Unfortunately, I was still in this damned place. Damn it!

Yet something felt different this time. There was a strange sensation within me, something unfamiliar, yet eerily familiar at the same time. It felt as though… something was growing inside me, or perhaps... awakening? I didn’t know. I couldn’t quite put it into words.

As I tried to sit up... I swear to God, I could see them. Faint outlines, barely visible within the darkness, forming the shape of… legs.

At the sight, I froze, staring in disbelief. My eyes remained fixed on them, unable to look away, as if witnessing a miracle I had never imagined would happen.

I needed to make sure—to truly confirm what I was seeing. So, I slowly moved those legs... and they moved.

My breathing grew erratic. My heart pounding violently.

Still unable to believe it, I tried again…

And again…
And again…

Until, at last, it struck me—

“T-That… my legs…?” I whispered, my voice trembling. “T-That… that are really my legs!?"

For the first time since I became trapped in this place, I could finally see something. This was neither an illusion nor a hallucination. I could truly see my own legs, even if they were nothing more than faint lines, like pencil strokes upon a blank sheet of white.

Tears welled in my eyes, not out of sorrow, but from the overwhelming surge of joy flooding my heart. At last, after being submerged for so long in an ocean of despair, I had found a glimmer of hope.

This miracle… it must have happened while I was unconscious—at the very moment that entity did something to my head. The strange sensation I had felt earlier, it had to come from that, from whatever it had done to me.

While I was still immersed in that overwhelming euphoria, the strange sensation returned—but this time, far stronger. So strong, it felt as though it would completely seize my consciousness.

My eyes snapped shut. Both hands clutched my head as a violent throbbing surged through it, nearly beyond what I could endure. Though not as unbearable as before, the pain spread throughout my skull, relentless.

Then, without warning, unfamiliar memories surfaced. Not whole, but shattered—like fragments of broken glass, scattering chaotically through my mind.

Even with my eyes tightly shut, I could see them clearly. Piece by piece, the fragments began to fall into place. The awareness—along with everything that had awakened beside it—slowly merged, becoming one with me.

And in that very instant, I finally understood. That strange sensation... it had been coming within me all along. Or more precisely, from another self. A consciousness. A personality. It slowly awakening inside me.

In the next moment, the throbbing vanished completely. I opened my eyes, and in that moment, I could see it clearly, like a film being projected onto a vast screen. That was what I was witnessing now.

A recollection… of who I truly am, drawn from the life of that other me.

I watched as he lived peacefully among the people he loved. The world he inhabited was calm… so beautiful. Peace and prosperity reached every corner of that land. Traditional houses stood in quiet rows, horse-drawn carts moved along earthen roads, farmers tilled the fields, and children tended their livestock. Their smiles were wide, unburdened.

Their laughter... Their voices...

It felt so warm. Warm enough to mend a heart long shattered by the madness of this cursed place.

I then saw that other version of myself moving through a forest—gathering what I could only assume were medicinal herbs. Hunting deer to fill the village granary. Training tirelessly in both swordsmanship and archery.

He lived not for himself, but for others—and the people of the village cherished him dearly. Not because of who he was, but because of what his presence brought into their lives.

Then, the scene shifted—leaping far into the future.

I saw him walking down a long corridor, one that immediately brought to mind the grand palaces described in fantasy tales. Everything was lavish, adorned with intricate carvings, bathed in a soft golden glow reflected from walls lined with gold.

He wore the regal attire of a king. A dark cloak flowed behind him, and every step he took carried an undeniable authority. Above his head hovered a crown, radiating a gentle, almost soothing light.

As he moved toward the end of the corridor, where light gathered, a thunderous roar of cheers erupted. Countless people awaited him—praising, bowing, welcoming his arrival as though he were the savior of their world.

I could only stand there in silence, staring at him, struggling to comprehend the reality unfolding before me.

Even though this was the first time I had seen any of it… for some reason, a deep sense of longing welled up within me—along with an emotion I could not name.

After witnessing those memories, I finally understood… who I truly am.

“Ahh… so that’s how it is…” I murmured. “I remember now… how could I have forgotten?

“I... I am Ainsel. A man who came from another world—from a distant land called Asaland. The ruler of a kingdom beyond the horizon. And yet…” My voice faltered. “Even now… even with all of it laid bare before me… I still can’t believe it. The one I saw… was that really me? Am I… truly a ruler? Is this real…? Me… a king…?”

Though the truth had shaken me to my core, a part of me accepted it without resistance—as if it had always been there. As if I had not discovered something new, but merely remembered something long forgotten.

But the strangeness did not end there. In fact, that was only the beginning.

Questions began to flood my mind without end.

“If these memories are my true self… then whose memories have I been carrying all this time? Who am I, really…?” I continued. “Am I… Ainsel—the one sitting in his room, playing games? Or... am I the one seated upon a throne? Which one is the real me?! And why… why do I carry the memories of two lives from entirely different worlds…?!”

The questions kept piling up, one after another, until even reality itself began to feel uncertain.

“Am I truly Ainsel…? Or someone else entirely… merely inheriting the memories and identity of two people who share the same name…?”

In the midst of that doubt, a voice rose from deep within me:

“Do not be afraid. All of it is real. All of it… is you.”

And yet, my heart refused to accept it.

“I want the truth…” I whispered. “I want to know what really happened to me. My past… my parents… my home… my original world… my true identity… I want to know everything.”

As I remained trapped within that storm of questions, a voice suddenly echoed through the darkness—deep, heavy… distorted. Had my other self not already merged with me, I might have fled without ever looking back.

“It has been a long time… my dear old friend, Ainsel.”

The moment those words reached me, something deep within my chest trembled. As if a piece of myself, long lost, had finally returned. A strange warmth spread through me, like being reunited with someone I had once forgotten… yet had never truly lost.

Before I realized it, tears slipped quietly from the corners of my eyes. I wiped them away at once, unwilling to be carried too far by emotions that were not entirely mine—not the me of now, but the one who once ruled as a king.

Slowly, I rose to my feet. My voice wavered as I spoke, “To be honest… I don’t know who you are. I’m not even sure who I am anymore. Too many things have happened all at once…

"…And yet… for some reason, your voice feels familiar. Just hearing it… there’s a warmth in my heart. A kind of happiness I can’t explain.”

I turned slowly, facing him.

“Even if, to me, this is our first meeting… to you, perhaps, this is something you’ve been waiting for. A chance to meet your old friend once again.”

I closed my eyes for a brief moment, then smiled faintly.

“Yes… it has been a long time, hasn’t it? You… my comrade. My dear old friend from the past, Mattherna.”

My voice trembled, as though countless unspoken words were caught within it, yet none could find their way out.

He let out a soft laugh—warm and genuine.

“Yes… you are absolutely right. For the you of now, this may be the beginning of everything. But for me—no, for us—this is the most precious moment. After such a long time… at last, we meet again.”

I smiled, but something in his words made me frown slightly.

“Wait… you said ‘us’? What do you mean by that?”

He slowly turned his gaze—and gestured to his side.

“Can you not see the three figures standing beside me?”

I followed the direction of his hand.

And there they were. Three silhouettes, standing not far from him. Tall—massive, even. Each of them easily towered over me, their forms cloaked in long robes that concealed their entire bodies. Even their heads were obscured, hidden beneath deep hoods that revealed no discernible shape.

“…Who are they?” I asked quietly, a hint of unease creeping into my voice.

He brought a hand to his chin, as though considering how best to answer.

“Hmm… how should I explain it? Something simple… but not beyond certain limits…”

I furrowed my brow, confused by his choice of words, which sounded ambiguous. But I chose to ignore it for the moment and did not press further.

“You can think of them as… companions on a journey.”

“Companions? You mean like party members?”

He gave a small nod. “For now, that is sufficient.”

As if in response, the three figures suddenly dropped to one knee at the exact same moment—like knights swearing fealty.

“Ahh… my King!”

“Your Majesty… at long last Thou hast returned!”

“Long have we awaited this day… O Majesty!”

Their voices trembled with emotion, pouring out a longing that had been buried for far too long.

IFOman
IFOman

Creator

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MIRAGIA
MIRAGIA

123 views3 subscribers

Who am I, really?

Before all of this, I was just an ordinary man, with no remarkable talent and having only simple ambitions, living a peaceful life with Grandma, the only family I had.
Or at least, that’s what I had always believed.

Until fate… drew back the curtain of the stage for me.

I fell into a world that defies logic, where madness and absurdity walk side by side. The burden of suffering that was never mine was forced upon my shoulders, along with responsibilities I never chose. And yet, I chose to accept it, for the sake of obtaining one definitive answer: who am I, truly?

Together with three mysterious figures who call themselves my followers, I walk a world filled with distortions and hidden truths. Amid uncertainty and lurking danger, we must disguise ourselves, protect our identities, and face the reality that this journey is far deeper and far crueler than we ever imagined.
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11 episodes

The Self I Once Was [3]

The Self I Once Was [3]

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