(Madison's POV)

I’m lying there for I’m not how long before I finally I manage go to sleep. It’s as if it was never going to happen, until it finally did. My mind was turning everything over as I have officially found myself in a tug-a-war of wanting desperately to keep Kalston, and knowing that I should let him go. None of this is fair to him, and I need to figure things out with myself before I can even think about letting him back in. I’ve all but come to conclusion when I finally start to drift off.

Tomorrow, I’ll let him go.

But for now, as I am in-between consciousness and dreaming, I picture being in Kalston’s arms before they flash to his instead and find myself crying. I’m not sure if it’s while I’m awake or asleep, but the heartbreak feels like it’s happening all over again.

I’m sitting on a roof as my feet dangle off the edge. I’m terrified of heights, but now they remind me of Liam. So, even though I’m terrified, that feeling exhilarates me more than it used to petrify me.

“What are you doing here, Princess?” Liam asks hesitantly behind me.

“Can we back away from the edge please?” He sounds worried as I turn around puzzled.

“Oooookay… what’s wrong with you?” I ask as I walk over to him and notice him relax more.

He’s the one now looking at me puzzled for a moment before he grins as if nothing is wrong.

“Nothing. I don’t like heights anymore is all. What do you say we go downstairs instead? I have a surprise for you.”

A surprise?!

I get excited and nod my head before he grabs my hand, and leads me down the unfamiliar, yet familiar building. There is something about it that I almost can pin down, but I’m not aware enough that I should attempt to figure it out. Instead, I'm just elated to be with Liam. Something about him always has a way of making me feel safe when everything else in my life seems anything but.

“What’s the surprise?” I ask, and another hint of familiarity hits me that this time does last a few seconds longer before it’s gone.

…

“You'll have to wait, Princess, but I know you'll love it.” He grins at me, and it melts me like it always does with those eyes that feel like that sense of home when you feel lost even while home.

He watches me for a moment as if he’s trying to figure something out.

“What?” I ask him trying to figure out what’s in his head.

For a quick moment, I’m looking at me wondering how much I remember before I’m back watching him.

…

!!!

Remember what?!

I stop, and stare at him with a stern and hurt gaze.

“What is it, Princess?”

I try to put my finger on it,and even though I can’t fully get it to the front of my mind, I do remember a glimpse of something. Of him and me, and something that he did that hurt me.

What did he do?

…

“What did you do?” I ask him pointedly which makes him seem almost guilty as he plays it off with a grin that flashes a similar one that’s not his. One that is obviously guarded.

“I told you, it’s a surprise. You'll have to wait to see.”

I jerk my hand out of his, not fully understanding what’s going on as it’s like I’m in-between what this dream is supposed to be, and knowing that it is a dream, but not enough to know why I’m hurt by him.

“You know what I mean. I’m not talking about the surprise, Liam. You broke me, you know that right? Do you know what that feels like?”

He looks down shamefully and it’s like the words come out of my mouth on their own.

“I loved you, I still love you, and you left me. You manipulated me to forget you! Of everyone in my life, You of all people weren't supposed to betray me like that.” I spit the words out as if they are poison. Not towards him, but as if they need to get out before they poison me.

“And then you came back? What kind of game is this?” I’m crying now and he looks up at me in a way that I can’t quit make out.

“I- I didn’t- Madison, what do you remember?”

I try to think about it, to really take the time to this time, and a few memories flash forward of us. Of a thanksgiving spent with him, others of him kissing me, of me kissing me, of some that I can’t figure out if they are of us together dreaming or in real life, and then the hardest one comes. A ring in a black velvet box that I told him once in passing was the ring I wanted if I ever got married because of how it reminded me of my first mom. Diamonds are so simple, but amethysts remind me of how she feels. So, he got me both.

I can barely see him through the tears, and yet, I can so clearly as I ask him in a broken voice.

“Were we engaged?”

His eyes seem pained at the question as he steps closer to me, but I step back needing distance for the answer. This seems to hurt him more as he looks down.

“I never wanted to lose you, Princess. I didn’t make you forget because I didn’t love you, I did it because I did. I can’t explain enough how much I’ve regretted that, but if they would have-”

“They? They who?” I cut him off knowing that that is another answer I need.

He looks up at me almost scared.

“Then how do you- Madison, you can’t let them find out that you're off of your medication. If they find out-

I shoot awake, only, I’m not. I’m laying in bed still as something hovers its face right over mine. I can feel this intense feeling of dread wash over me as my breath gets ragged.

Jesus! Jesus! JESUS!

I’m not sure what else to do besides begging God to wake me up.

I try my best to move my body anyway that I can, as I repeat Jesus’s name through my head as it won’t come out of my lips before it finally does.

“Jesus.” It's a sudden whisper that finally helps me open my eyes and see that my room is clear except for that heavy presence still hovering there.

It doesn't make sense because if something is there,

Why can't I see it?

Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful, but grateful and confused.

I pray, and pray hard before I see that it’s only 0435 and that I should get some more sleep if I’m able, but only after watching some funny videos to help me redirect my mind in the hopes that it will keep me from going back into that nightmare.

I’m on a swing as I let the air blow through my hair. I always love how it feels on the swing as if it's the closest I’ll ever be to flying. Someone gets onto the swing next to me.

“You know, they say that if you close your eyes, it’s almost like you're actually flying.” the stranger says to me before I recognize that he's Tanner.

I smile at him, excited to see him.

“I know, and I love the way it sometimes makes my stomach flip. Is that weird?”

He smiles back before we both stop.

“Really weird, but there’s nothing wrong with being a little weird.”

He looks at me odd and I can’t make out what’s wrong.

"What is it?” I ask him as he stands up and stands next to me. 

Something about this Tanner makes me feel like we’ve known each other longer than we have. Like he’s not the occasional friend I see at the cafe.

“Do you mind?”

“Sure.” I answer without knowing what he is asking.

He grabs something that doesn’t seem there from my lap.

What?

It’s almost like I know that something is there even though I don’t actually see anything in his hand, but picture it in my head instead. I imagine that there's a thin rope in his hand, or a really thick string at least.

“What is it?” I ask him confused before he drops the nothing out of his hand

“It’s just… Nothing, don’t worry about it.”

No, it was something.

I grab where I’m thinking nothing is and notice that it does actually feel like something is there. It feels like just what I described. I picture it in my head as something almost a dark pink color. Holding it makes me think of Liam. I forgot that anyone existed besides this moment with Tanner until I started to think about him. 

“What is this?” I ask Tanner who has to know somehow.

He’s hesitant to answer.

“It’s uh, it’s nothing.”

No, it’s not! It's not Nothing!

I start to get frustrated at him clearly lying.

“Tanner! Just, tell me. I’m tired of everyone lying to me all the time.” I push him hoping that maybe he will budge.

He looks me in the eyes for a moment before he looks next to us.

“It’s a soul tie…”

To Liam…

I know that has to be it.

“How do you know that?” I ask him, realizing that he has to know more.

He looks back at me concerned and surpasses the question.

“Madison, are you awake because the clinic thinks that you might be.”

The Clinic?

…

!!!

The Clinic!

I can’t explain how much I know as a lot of it is still foggy, but something about what Tanner says seems to register in me that the clinic is the ‘They' I’m supposed to be worried about.

“Are you working for them?” I ask him with narrow eyes, hurt that he might be someone else that I can’t trust.

“We all are one way or another. But… you can trust me. I’m not going to tell them if you're awake. But you also can’t let anyone else know, and this is the only place that has ever been safe from them.”

“And how do I know that this isn’t all just a dream? I mean, that is what this is, isn’t it?” I register that as the case, yet I'm still not fully lucid or I would be asking a lot more questions.

He closes his eyes before something appears in his hand that he hands to me. A single purple flower that I can’t quite name.

“How about every time we meet, I’ll give you one of these, and you'll know that just because it’s a dream doesn’t mean that it’s not also real.”

“Okay?” I’m confused because I don’t understand how that makes any sense.

If we’re in a dream, how would a flower make any difference?

“I think it’s about time for you to wake up.”

He smiles and seems almost sad as things flash me out from the swing set, we were at, only, I’m not awake. I’m in a field watching the clouds above me before someone else lays beside me. Or, two people. I look over to my right to see a man with kind brown eyes.

“Hey, you.” I tell him feeling comforted by him being with me as I look back to the sky.

“Hey, I didn’t know you'd be here today.” He says in a soft voice.

“Of course I would be. Oooo! That one looks like a bunny.” I tell him, pointing to a large fluffy cloud that almost seems too perfect.

“What about that one? It oddly looks like a cloud.”

His answer makes me laugh because yeah, it is a cloud but looks like exactly what you would expect a cloud to look like.

“You're right, that’s pretty cool. A cloud shaped cloud.”

I can feel his eyes on me but keep looking at the sky. There's something about this moment that I want to cherish. It’s such a simple moment, and feeling this comfort of having my best friend here with me is nice. I can’t explain it, but something about this mundane moment feels like everything I need right now. Even with the eerie feeling of someone watching us.

“I think that one looks like a dragon.” The boy next to us says, and I have to agree. It does look very dragon like.

We sit there for I’m not sure how long watching the clouds before I’m actually awake this time.

Again, I find myself rathering to still be asleep, only this time more so since it wasn’t a dream I feel guilty for having. I don’t fully grab out every other dream before it as I lay there thinking about the clouds in the sky and the brown eyes that would watch me every so often. They weren’t Liam's, yet the familiarity of them is about the same.

It takes me a moment to realize that my alarm hasn’t gone off yet, and a moment longer to realize that it feels later then it should for when I set it for. I grab my phone to check to see the time and realize that my phone is dead.

But I plugged it up... didn't I?

I remember plugging it up before bed, but I guess I didn't...

I'm just glad it's not tomorrow when I need to be more on schedule.

Okay, then.