I love scrolling Pinterest. It makes me feel normal, like there are a lot of people like me out there. Too realtable sometimes that I end up saving too many pins though I know I am never gonna look at them again. And then, pops a pin that catches my eye.

SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR BEING IN THEIR LIVES.

And another followed.

I AM TRULY THANKFUL THAT YOU CAME IN MY LIFE BUT I AM SORRY FOR COMING IN YOUR LIFE.

My throat tighten and breaths fall short. I comment on the former, "Just going apologize to all my friends now."

I quickly open my Instagram account and then I remember I once asked my male friend, Aven, if he had proof that he really was a boy in front of everyone just to look cool. Ugh! Why do I always annoy everyone? He must've been holding a grudge against me. I choose the  don’t save option and open my chat with Shelly then send-

Uhm, hi, I have noticed that you have been looking down for quite some time now. Listen, I am sorry if I have hurt you by chance someday. I am sorry. I never mean to hurt you. Never. Please just know it was unintentional if I did.

Then I open my chat with Hannah and send her-

Hey, Hannah. If I have ever hurt by mistake then please forgive me.

Then reply on Ashley's note which said that even her WBCs can't save her now, "Hey, you okay?"

I open Nancy's chat and send-

If I have ever hurt you then just know it was purely unintentional and that I am sorry for it.

Then Aven-

Hey, I am sorry Aven if I have ever hurt you in any way or in a joke. Just know it was never my intention.

He immediately replied me back. Hah, perks of having a personal phone.

What is up with u suddenly?

I replied-

Nothing just ur weirdo friend apologizing for just-in-case made mistakes.

Another message flicked-

You really are weird

Btw, I have a friend who is interested in you

I don’t want to seem presumptuous so I'll just play fool and say-

 I am no piece of art

Unless you mean smth else

He said-

I mean, yk, teenage crush

I answered-

Oh! Who?

Though I am not interested in knowing who he is but I remember mother always gets angry on me for not inquiring into things properly (obviously I won't tell her about this) so I asked. Anyway, I know he's not gonna tell me.

He sent a reply-

cant tell, yk, cuz there are a few reasons

I answer back-

Ohk, btw when r are exams starting in ur school?

I don’t care about this useless shit, I can't believe people are still getting crushes. If crushes don’t end within a couple of days then I haven't got one for 3 years now. I have literally had just 2 crushes, man. But I guess the old me would have been really interested in this stuff. Maybe she would have even texted Shelly and Nancy about it. Have I really changed or I simply aren't interested in such things anymore?

Another message came-

-In 5 days. U didn’t have to remind

of those though

-Haha, you gotta study then bro

He sent a reel, I reacted. I sent a reel, he reacted. Then I log out instagram.

I feel a bit light now. Maybe because these emotions had been weighing me down without me knowing. Not that I have been feeling like myself vividly, lately.