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All Valkyries Suck (Except Ours)

In Which Vere Endures Bureaucracy

In Which Vere Endures Bureaucracy

May 01, 2026

Vere still had the chalky taste of protein powder on her tongue as she swiftly traversed VADR’s fourth floor barracks. The first floor of the Academy was where all the social services to impacted individuals were rendered. The rest of the repurposed church was where the valkyries worked, trained, commenced operations, and lived. At this time of day, the barracks were fairly quiet. A few other valkyries were getting ready for the day shift like Vere. Those that started later in the day were probably still sleeping, while the night shift wasn't off yet

Vere glanced again at the notification from Colonel Agrippa to head straight to Command. It was unusual to start her day with a direct order like this. But if it were something bad, Vere would have heard it from all her sisters, not just the colonel. Crises were gossiped about. Orders from the colonel about boring shit were not. Boring orders were a thousand times worse than a crisis.

She pulled on her constricting uniform collar as she reached the balcony overlooking the two stories that made up the former sanctuary. Windows on the three visible walls created a dreamy, airy quality to the otherwise formal space. A large balcony housed the armory, accessible only by wing, and the ground floor of the sanctuary was often used for skirmishes due to its size and complex layout. 

An additional large chamber was where the higher officers, including Vere, would meet for strategy meetings. The final chamber was for Agrippa, which was relatively cubic in shape and suspended from the high rafters on chains as thick as Vere’s wrist. It gave the office something of a birdhouse appearance.

Many of Vere’s sisters were too severe to field jokes like that, becoming grumpy and defensive. Vere had spent so much time with Edie, though, that she didn’t really care anymore. If they had wanted to beat the bird-brain allegations, why were their business quarters more or less a bird sanctuary?

Vere sighed. Her wings shuffled open, cracking several times as humerus bones ground against scapula. Sometimes, she wondered what it would be like to fly for leisure and not for work. Valkyries trained from childhood and comprised Eldwick’s elite defense force. While there were other valkyrie organizations across the globe and a VADR headquarters in every big city in the country, Eldwick’s VADR stood out. Their contributions to safety, security, and harmony in the community were truly magnificent.

Which made Colonel Agrippa a big old bitch.

Vere stepped off the edge of the balcony and tucked her wings. Free-falling made her stomach drop as the third story—the showers and locker room—whipped past her, wind whistling in her ears. The sectors inside the sanctuary were all marked with large colored signage that was easy to see from a distance for optimal flight paths. She waited until it was almost too late before her wings snapped out and caught the air, jerking her back, activating all her muscles as she took over her trajectory.

Command was the hardest sector to land in, in order to minimize disruptions within Agrippa’s space. Valkyries essentially had to complete an obstacle course. Vere had each dive and swivel memorized, her wings taking her easily past the hanging planks and diagonal netting.

Agrippa’s office had a golden landing dock outside stationed with two guards. The one who was sitting with legs dangling over the edge gave Vere a cheery wave.

“What brings you in?” called Ripley.

Vere landed on the metal catwalk so lightly that her boots barely made a sound. She pulled out her phone and showed them the notification from the colonel.

“Awesome.” Ripley thumbed her past. “You gonna come to my game night tonight?”

“Uhh.” Vere groped for an excuse.

“Come onnnn,” Ripley groaned. “You never go!”

“That’s because people are the worst,” Vere grumbled as she took off again to go past her comrade. Vere typically didn’t have any interest in spending time with anyone besides Edie. “I’ll think about it!” she said, louder. At the end of the dock, Agrippa’s door was closed, and the blinds were drawn across the window. Vere knocked, and a grunt answered her.

Assuming that meant she could come in, Vere turned the knob and peeked inside. Despite Agrippa’s success improving Eldwick and making a name for VADR, the chief had refused to upgrade her little office. Possibly that was because of all the clutter: it would take weeks to move it all out, and some of the stacks of books were so big they would cause injury if toppled. The office held a faintly sweet scent that Vere didn’t remember being there before. It was sort of familiar, but Vere couldn’t place it. Maybe a different coffee creamer.

Agrippa was glowering at her computer screen, her golden hair drawn back from her lined face in a severe bun. She turned her glower toward Vere, who saluted.

“You’re going to show our new counselor around today,” she grunted.

Vere suppressed the raise of her eyebrow in response. “Me?”

“Guinevere of House Stromgaard?”

Vere nodded mutely.

“Then yes, you.”

“I’m not familiar with the duties of a therapist,” Vere argued with the defeated tone of someone who knew that she could not change the order once it was administered. Agrippa did not assign bad missions. Valkyries only failed missions because of their own incompetence. Direct quote from the colonel, unfortunately.

“He’ll be meeting with Dr. Williams tomorrow,” Agrippa said impatiently, typing something with her eyes on her screen. “Go on then. He’ll be down on the first floor outside Williams’ office. Also, your uniform is too big, and you need to belt it at the waist. I’ll be checking with Major Wrede to ensure you’re up to standard by next week.”

Vere’s cheeks burned. She saluted again and hurried back out of the office, resisting the impulse to slam the door behind her.

Ripley had obviously been eavesdropping, the shorter valkyrie sweeping their hand through their dark buzz cut. Their chestnut hair and chocolate-hued wings made them stand out in a sea of golden features and ivory feathers, not to mention they were one of the only valkyries without their hair in a regulation bun. “She complain about your uniform again?”

Vere nodded tightly, pawing at the oversized button-down. If she wore it to regulation, every curve that made her uneasy would be highlighted.

“It’s okay,” Ripley said gently. “We’ll keep covering for you. And when you’re ready…”

Vere swallowed. “Ripley,” she interrupted, “The valkyries of House Stromgaard are women. I’d be thrown out.”

They shrugged. “We’d catch you.”

Vere managed to give them an appreciative smile that trembled on her cheeks. “I’ll be there tonight. Okay? Just tell everyone not to talk to me.”

Ripley laughed, a booming alto sound that seemed to echo against the arched ceiling. “Roger that, Vere.”

She drifted down from Command feeling a little less like her heart was a stone tied to her wings. Ripley was a Corporal whereas Vere had inherited the officer status of Captain, but everybody knew Vere did not throw her weight around. She saw nothing wrong with fraternizing with the lower-ranking troops. After all, the valkyries were her roommates and practically family. Among them, Ripley was one of her favorites.

A pair of valkyries were lingering by the stairwell that went down to the first floor. When Vere landed a few feet away from them, the girls shared a giggle and thundered down the steps while tucking their wings away so they vanished. Much like their bonded weapons, valkyrie wings could disappear into something of a magical pocket when they needed to be discrete, although many valkyries found hiding their wings to be very uncomfortable. The younger girls had no choice, though, and couldn’t wear things wings out and proud until they were seventeen completing their final year of specialized schooling in VADR.

Since she was a full-fledged valkyrie, Vere didn’t need to tuck her wings away like the girls did. She kept her posture perfect and her hands at her sides as she strode down the steps and let herself onto the bottom floor of VADR.

Vere had spent her whole life trying to be the perfect valkyrie and live up to the Stromgaard legacy. She was already put at a disadvantage when she’d mutated from her mother’s golden hair and ivory wings, winding up with auburn curls and copper wings. The teasing had started when she was a little girl and had been brutal, giving her a natural mistrust of her sisters. Her only option had been to overcompensate for her unusual coloring by being the strongest and fastest among them.

It had worked. Her prowess in the air was unmatched. She was a ruthless and largely undefeated opponent in battle despite wielding her labrys; the two-headed axe was significantly heavier than the broadswords most of her sisters used.

Despite not budging on the fit of her uniform, Vere made sure everything else adhered to regulation. Her curls were hell to gel down, but each and every morning, she did it, pinning them into a tight bun a third of the way up the back of her head. She actually liked her curls, but the haircut she wanted most—a mullet, of course—wasn’t regulation.

By the time she encountered the first employee blearily sipping coffee at the administration desk, Vere had forced her freckled cheeks into a cheerful smile. She didn’t have it in her to stop and chat with everyone like usual, so she made straight for the Social Services sector on the opposite end of the floor. Luckily, she wouldn’t pass Edie’s office and wouldn’t be able to get distracted by the possibility of stopping to visit her friend.

Agrippa would know, anyway. The colonel would have Vere’s location up on her computer screen. She did any time she gave a direct order to ensure that they were carried out efficiently. Each valkyrie’s phones had powerful enough GPS tracking that Agrippa could see who was in what hall even inside VADR.

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Z.M. Celestaire

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All Valkyries Suck (Except Ours)
All Valkyries Suck (Except Ours)

249 views10 subscribers

Nobody makes a workplace stressful quite like buff and way too serious valkyries. Four friends confront a corrupt organization while questioning their own identities (gender and species) as well as newly realized romantic entanglements.

Bellamy Hirsch is so close to finishing his internship at VADR, an irritating organization run by valkyries which claims to help supernatural and human civilians in the city of Eldwick. The crazier things get with the valkyries, and the more things come to light about his own surprisingly supernatural heritage, the more uncertain his graduation becomes.
When his social work nonprofit-slash-dream job gets suddenly shut down by VADR, Orion Pendleton is ready to be reckless. With no other option, he ends up joining VADR. When insults—and sparks—start to fly with his coworker Bellamy, Orion realizes his plan to sabotage VADR might put everything else in jeopardy.
Captain Vere Stromgaard is the picture-perfect valkyrie, on the outside, anyway. Internally, Vere realizes they don’t identify as a woman. And when they are ordered to track down a deserting nonbinary valkyrie, Vere’s life is thrown into chaos.
As a former ward of VADR, Edie Thorn knows quite a lot about the valkyries for a half-vampire. She also might be in love with her best friend Vere. Her loyalty to Vere is tested when Vere’s assignment brings them to Edie’s childhood home; Edie yearns for her family there, but her best friend has been convinced by VADR that the place is evil.
These four friends must confront the prejudice and pain caused by VADR and decide: can they topple the institution together, or will they fracture before they can triumph?

I will be posting this simultaneously on my Patreon and my Royal Road.
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In Which Vere Endures Bureaucracy

In Which Vere Endures Bureaucracy

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