Chapter 4:

            Pulling into the parking lot of an Arby’s, Jamie asked, “So, why do we need to stop here?”

            “Simple,” responded Griswold. “I need you to change into a police uniform so you can sneak into the station and get Rebecca’s necklace.”

            “I’m sorry, WHAT!?” Jamie asked.

            “You heard me,” said Griswold. “I need you to pretend to be a police officer to

retrieve Rebecca’s necklace so I can examine it. It’s the last piece of evidence that I need.”

            “You want me to steal evidence!?”

            Griswold paused. “It’s only stealing if you get caught?” she said, shrugging her shoulders. 

            Jamie glared at Griswold.

            “As long as they think you’re a cop, they’ll be perfectly willing to let you see the necklace to take a picture,” Griswold said, making giant air quotes with her fingers. “You’ve got nothing to worry about.”

            “But why me?”

            “Well…you know how ever since the incident I’ve been banned from getting involved in cases like this?”

            “Yeah.”

            “Well, Captain Donnellson, my previous employer, with the help of his connections in the U.S. legal and judiciary systems, sent a notice to all of the police stations in the U.S. that, if I was seen trying to take up a case, in any way, shape, or form, I was to be arrested immediately. On top of that, many people do have some idea of what I look like. The incident...um...may or may not have been used in police training videos of what not to do on the job.”

            “What the fuck did you do?”

            “Not relevant right now, Jamie. The point is, I can’t set foot in that police station. And since Bill can’t go there either, this leaves you.”

            Jamie groaned. “I really wish you had warned me about this before I took the job.”

            “I assumed that since you took the job after hearing about needing to be proficient in hand-to-hand combat and complex driving maneuvers, this wouldn’t be that big of a deal.”

            “Just give me the outfit,” Jamie said as she stuck out her hand.

            Jamie got out of the car, muttering to herself as she crossed the parking lot and passed a man sitting next to a broken-down car. Pausing briefly to hold the door for a mom and her two kids, she went into the Arby’s and changed into the uniform. When she got back in the car, Griswold grinned. “You look fantastic,” she said.

            “Thanks,” Jamie grumbled.

            “Now all we need are the finishing touches,” Griswold said, reaching into the back of the car. She grabbed the plastic container, took out two Velcro shoulder patches and a badge, all marked as the property of the Chillicothe Police Department, and attached them to Jamie’s uniform.

            “Wait,” Jamie said. “This is what these are for?”

            “Yes, my dear,” said Griswold. “It seemed more efficient to have one uniform with a few interchangeable decorations than to lug around a number of different uniforms that looked almost exactly the same.” She paused and admired Jamie again before saying, “I think we’re ready to go.”

            “Fine,” Jamie sighed, rolling her eyes.

*****

            They pulled into a parking lot near the police station, a cube-shaped, two-story building made of tan stone. As they parked, Jamie asked Griswold, “So what’s the plan?”

            Griswold replied, “I want you to go into the station pretending to be a police officer from Chillicothe. Talk to the captain and tell them that you’ve received a notice that the necklace we’re after is being targeted by a thief. Then, tell the captain that you need to take the necklace out of storage so you can take a few pictures, allowing the jewelers you’ve hired to make a replica to lure the criminal out. Once you have the necklace, I’ll send in a distraction which will allow you to escape to the alley where we’ll park.”

            “I like the plan,” Jamie replied, “but how will you know when I’ve got the necklace?”

            “Simple,” Griswold said. “Since you have a radio with you as part of your uniform, we’ll just tape down your talk button so that I can hear what you’re saying.”

            “That could work,” Jamie said nodding slowly. “Let’s get this over with.” She paused. “By the way,” she asked, “what's your distraction going to be?”

            A glint of madness entered Griswold’s eyes. “Oh, don’t you worry your little head about that,” she said trying to hide a smirk. “You’ll know it when it occurs….”

            “Dear God,” Jamie muttered. After rehearsing her lines, taping down the talk button on her radio, and grabbing a camera, she got out of the car. Before she left, Griswold told her, “Don’t forget that the necklace has a silver chain, a giant sapphire, and is covered in mud!” With that, Bill, cocking his baseball cap so that it covered most of his face, got in the driver’s seat and drove a few streets away to the agreed-upon alley with Griswold.

            The afternoon sun beat down on Jamie as she walked across the parking lot. Upon climbing a set of stairs and entering the station, she was hit by a blast of cold air. Looking around, the first thing she saw was an image that horrified her. On the wall to her right was a poster featuring Griswold yelling, with one eye half shut and hands balled into fists in a pose that seemed to threaten the viewer. Plastered over the image was a big red “X” and below the picture were the bolded words, “If you see this woman, say something!”                                             

            Jamie took a few deep breaths before getting back to business. To her left was an older woman sitting behind a desk. Going up to her, Jamie said, “Hello, I need to speak with your captain. I’m from the Chillicothe Police Department and I need to look at some evidence.”

            At that point, a middle-aged man with a sagging face and a short goatee came out from a back room and into the lobby. “You need to speak to me?” he asked.

            Jamie stuck out her hand and said, “Yes, I’m Officer Eliza Clemmons.” The captain shook her hand and said, “All right. What do you need?”

            “I came to take a few pictures of a necklace,” she replied.

            “What for?” he asked.

            From there, Jamie told him the spiel about the necklace being targeted by a thief and needing pictures of said necklace. After she finished, he nodded and said, “I’ll be right back.” He stepped out and came back a few minutes later with a plastic bag. Inside was a muddy necklace with a silver chain and a faux sapphire the size of a half-dollar. He put it on the receptionist’s counter in front of Jamie. However, just as she had put on a pair of latex gloves to take the necklace out of the bag, the captain yelled, “What the hell?”

            When Jamie turned to see what he was looking at, a horrified look crossed her face as she saw Griswold’s distraction. Pressed up against the set of glass doors was an extremely hairy, naked man in his late thirties covered in three ammunition belts full of M-80’s, two criss-crossing his chest and one wrapping around his waist. He held a lighter in his left hand and a water gun in his right. After creepily staring through the doors for a few seconds, he burst into the lobby and began dancing like a lunatic and yelling, “Watch out for the squirtin’ elephants! They might squirt ya!” as he shot people with his water gun. When multiple officers came in to calm him down, he got quite aggressive and started to throw punches at them. He then ran out the way he came in and dared the police to chase him. At this point, the captain, the other officers in the lobby, and the secretary, who grabbed her camera, ran out after the man.

            The lobby now empty, Jamie immediately put the bag with the necklace into a pocket on her shirt and cautiously looked out the glass doors. The police were chasing the man around the left side of the building. After they disappeared around the corner, she speedily left the premises. As she ran past buildings to where the car was parked, she shot wary glances down alleys, hoping to avoid the police. At last, after what seemed to be an eternity of running and ducking for cover, she got to the alley where Griswold and Bill had parked and ran to the car. When she got in the driver’s seat, Jamie handed Griswold the bag with the necklace and asked, “Really? That was your distraction?”

           “Hey, it worked. Didn’t it?” Griswold replied.

           “That’s one way of putting it,” Jamie grumbled. After they drove to a nearby gas station for Jamie to change again, Griswold asked Jamie to drive around on the highway and in the nearby countryside so that they could be sure to lose anyone that might be tracking them. With that, they were on the move.

           They drove past the floodwalls and out of town. As they drove though the town of Galena and into a more forested area, the late-afternoon sun shone down through the trees and across patches of farmland hidden among the hills. Eventually, they passed through Otway, a small town tucked away among the woods. While Jamie drove, Griswold and Bill looked out their windows as if they were searching for something. At last, Griswold said, “Turn right here.” They went up a narrow road on a slight incline. Before long, Griswold pointed out her window and said, “Stop at that house on the right.” Jamie did so and Griswold got out of the car. She unlocked the trunk and helped a man get out. After she gave him some money, he went inside the house. Griswold then got back in the car and told Jamie to drive away.

           Jamie, driving on in shocked silence, nervously asked, “Who was that?”

           “Really?” asked Griswold. “You didn’t recognize him?”

           “No,” she replied.

           “He was the guy I hired to distract the police by acting crazy.”

           “Okay,” Jamie said, trying to take in Griswold’s words, “but why was he in the trunk?”

           “Get a load of this,” Bill snickered. “While you were in the Arby’s, she offered a guy in the parking lot money for a tow truck if he helped with her plan. She even agreed to give him a lift to a friend’s place after this was done so he could hide from the police until this blew over.”

           “Couldn’t have said it better myself!” Griswold said with a satisfied grin.

           Jamie drove in silence for a few moments. “You absolutely astound me,” she replied.

           “Why thank you, milady!” said Griswold.

           “That’s not what I...never mind,” Jamie said.

*****