Long gone were the days of fear and doubts. After successfully coming out to her parents, Brenda continued her journey through the region along May. With renewed confidence, she took even more steps, visiting the Gym Leaders, Steven and Wally and telling them about her new self. While reactions were varied from enthusiastic to comical, all of them accepted Brenda. She even got back to her new duties as Champion. And thus, days passed by quickly, with Brenda enjoying every moment in her journey.

Alas, May couldn’t exactly say the same.

Of course, she still enjoyed her time with her friend. Nothing made her happier than seeing Brenda being so open and having so much fun. However, with every passing day, she noticed her friend becoming more manageable and independent in all sorts of girl matters. And whatever she didn’t know, she would investigate and self study about it. She was growing at high speed, and day by day, May felt more useless. Was there any actual need for her to travel along Brenda? Did she need her anymore? Or would Brenda rather be happier traveling by herself, without May being a burden? However, whenever she thought about parting ways, that made her uncomfortable and sad, although she couldn’t point out why. She just wanted to spend more time with her, but that sounded more of a selfish wish than anything else. And thus, she tried not to think about it and enjoy every day as much as possible, even with that fear lurking in her mind.

Things went peacefully for a couple of months, and one day, they both arrived at a Pokémon Center in the middle of a route. While Brenda went to their room for the night, May stayed at the hall to phone Lisia. She used to call her friend to give her updates on their journey, but with the idol being strangely busier than usual, it had been a while since their last conversation. However, at that time, Lisia answered as fast as usual.

“Heyo, May! Long time, right?”, greeted Lisia over the phone.

“Hi Lisia! You bet. I guess you had a lot of work”, answered May.

“Oh, sure I had! And I got some great news! We’ve been in talks with the Sinnoh Regional Super Contest Association. Won’t bore you with details, ya know? Meetings, plannings, lots of talking… What matters is, I’ll do a special collaboration tour in Sinnoh!”, explained Lisia enthusiastically.

“In Sinnoh? That sounds amazing! Congrats!”, exclaimed May.

It sure sounded amazing. During her time taking part in Contests, May learned a lot about the different styles and shows in some regions. While Hoenn focused more on a younger pop style, Sinnoh was all about elegance and grandeur. Both regions doing a collaboration could help Contestants learn a lot about each other.

“I’m so happy for you. This will be a great step in your career. And you sure are gonna be a hit!”, cheered up May.

“Not just me, ya know?”, said Lisia with a playful smile, making May confused. “It’s gonna be a big show with lots of Contestants and I was thinking… why don’t you join us?”.

“What? Me, in Sinnoh?”, asked May in shock, imagining herself at the stage in the great Hearthome City stage and meeting all kinds of people. That mere thought drew a smile on her face. “Gosh, that would be amazing! And there’s lots of things to see. I wonder if I’ll have enough time for a couple of days”.

“A couple of days? No, no, my dear friend. This is gonna be big! We’ll stay in Hearthome City for a couple of months, or ever longer if things go well!”, pointed out Lisia.

At first, May was surprised. Two months in a far region sounded daunting, but exciting at the same time. However, at a instant, an image flashed in her mind, something that made her freeze: Brenda. Instinctively, she looked towards the reception desk, and as expected, Brenda already came back from their room and was talking cheerfully to Nurse Joy and other Trainers. Accepting Lisia’s offer meant she had to leave Brenda behind. Her heart beat loudly in her chest. The idea didn’t seem exciting anymore: it made her anxious.

“Hey, May, what’s wrong? You turned paler than a Castform”, commented Lisia on the phone, observing May’s puzzled face.

May doubted for a moment. Only vague sounds came out from her mouth while she tried to organize her thoughts. She couldn’t hide her own sadness.

“Sorry, but… I don’t think I can go”, said May. “Brenda… she’s trying out her Champion duties, ya know, checking if she likes them or not… She’s busy and can’t come for so long”.

“Aw, that’s a shame for her. I’m sure she’d have enjoyed it. But I mean, you’re free, right? You can come”, insisted Lisia.

“Ah, I, well…”, stuttered May nervously. “I mean, what about her? What if she needs help? I…”.

She tried to insist, but she didn’t know anymore if she was thinking rationally or rather if she was trying to find excuses. Was she trying to convince Lisia… or herself? On her part, Lisia frowned lightly and offered a sympathetic smile.

“May, May, May… I know you’re worried, but come on! It’s been months since she came out. And from what I’ve heard, she can handle herself quite well!”, exclaimed Lisia. “I’m sure she’ll be fine. And also, isn’t it time you think about what you want?”.

“What I… want?”.

May stayed silent, staring to the phone screen without actually looking at Lisia, her eyes lost in a sea of doubts. Half a year ago, she would have done anything to travel to Sinnoh. However, at that moment, she could only think about Brenda, about all the moments they shared together. During the last months, she focused on what Brenda actually wanted. That was enough so far. But what did she want? A part of her wanted to stay with her friend, but was that enough? So many doubts that Lisia could read in her friend’s concerned expression. Letting out a sad sigh, she said:

“Look, we won’t leave until next week, so… why don’t you think it over? Talk it to Brenda, sleep on it… and whatever you choose, call me”, suggested Lisia. “I won’t blame you if you don’t come, just… I want you to think about yourself, that’s all”.

With nothing more to say, and seeing May was out of words as well, Lisia bid farewell and hang up.

May was left alone, still holding the earphone in her trembling hands, until she put it on its holder slowly. She stood up, her legs shaking slightly, and looked around her. But her head was so foggy that she couldn’t see people, just blurs that moved around. Voices that plugged her ears to the point of being annoying. She wanted to be alone, so she did her best to leave the Pokémon Center and sit at a bench outside. At least she felt better with fresh air caressing her face. Looking up to the sky, she tried to leave her mind as blank as the open sky, but she could still see Lisia and Brenda in her mind, the conversation repeating again and again…

“May?”.

May jumped on her place, letting out the highest scream she had ever done in her life, after feeling something touching her shoulder out of nowhere. She turned around to find Brenda, who looked at her worried.

“Oh, hi! Em, just wanted to take some air”, said May abruptly, with trembling voice. “So… is our room ready?”.

May tried to change the topic. Or rather, she didn’t want to keep thinking about all her problems and doubts. However, that didn’t seem enough for Brenda, who asked:

“Hey, are you okay? You don’t look well”.

“Me? I’m fine, just fine!”, said May with a nervous laugh. Still, Brenda didn’t look that happy.

“May, something’s wrong, right? You can tell me”, said Brenda with kindness.

What was going on with everybody knowing she was not feeling well? Had she always been so bad at hiding secrets? Or maybe that situation affected more than she expected. She was scared of saying anything, but she couldn’t hide it to Brenda. After all they lived together, she just couldn’t.

“I just talked to Lisia… She offered me to go to Sinnoh to take part in special Contests with her. I… I’d be out for a couple of months, could be more. I’d leave next week if I do it”, explained May with low voice while looking down.

She kept looking at the ground. For whatever reason, she couldn’t say all that with more excitement. She couldn’t think anymore whether that was good or not. All she could do was waiting. Waiting for an answer she couldn’t predict, whether positive or not. And still, there was an expectation she feared. She couldn’t even look at Brenda, but her words reached her still:

“Wow, Sinnoh… That’s amazing. I’m gonna miss you though”.

And there it was. Sweet words of support that felt like a knife. A farewell May didn’t want to hear. She did her best to raise her face and look at her friend. Brenda was right there, smiling with her usual brightness, but she felt powerless to smile back at her. Seeing her worried face, Brenda turned concerned.

“You… You’re going, right?”, asked Brenda. “You worked so hard. It’s your dream!”.

‘Dream’. A word May heard so many times before, but suddenly, it lost its meaning. What was a ‘dream’? What was her dream? It sounded as something she should hold onto, no matter what. However, dreams should bring happiness. If going to Sinnoh was meant to be her ‘dream’, why didn’t it make her happy? Why was the idea of leaving Brenda so painful? She still couldn’t understand. In some way, she hoped to be told to stay.

“What… about you? Will you be okay?”, asked May.

“Me?”, asked Brenda confused, with a little worry in her eyes. “Are you still worried about me?”.

That wasn’t the word, or at least, May didn’t think so. Worrying was not the origin of her doubts, of that uncomfortable feeling in her chest. It was fear, fear of not seeing her friend again. Fear of their paths taking each other so far away that they would never meet again. Was that ridiculous? She partly thought so. Her relationship with Lisia was just like that: meeting occasionally, calling each other… Why was it different with Brenda? She wanted to say something, but nothing could come out. Instead, Brenda held her hands and said:

“May, thanks. You’ve done a lot for me, but… you don’t need to worry anymore. I’ll be fine. I don’t want you to miss this big opportunity. If this is what you want, you should go”.

May remained silent, admiring Brenda’s warm smile and tender eyes. She was just like Lisia, pointing out how important that chance was. And maybe… it was. Maybe it was her fault for not seeing it. Or maybe… it was Brenda’s way of telling her to leave her alone. If May stayed there, there wasn’t much more she could help her friend with. She would be a burden. Maybe chasing her ‘dream’ was better for everybody, just like Lisia expected, just like Brenda expected.

“Okay, I… I will. I’ll do it”, murmured May. Then, she smiled and said: “Thanks, Brenda”.

She had to smile. She couldn’t show how hard that moment was. And then, Brenda got closer and surrounded May with her arms. Her friend meant well, but it took her by surprise. A warm surprise that made her close her eyes and hug Brenda back. She wanted to cry, but made sure she didn’t. She had to be strong, but… she didn’t want that hug to end. She wanted to be trapped within her arms for all eternity, no matter the world around them. But as she expected, Brenda released her. There was no choice. Brenda made a sign to go back to the Pokémon Center, but May told her to go ahead. She needed more time alone. And that moment, seeing her friend walking away, just like it would happen in a few days, she understood what Lisia meant. She wanted Brenda to be happy, and if she would be much happier without her around…

May would rather disappear from her life.