“Thank you so much for coming tonight, Hearthome City!”.

The ovation from the audience was so loud that it could even be heard from outside the Super Contest Hall in Hearthome City. Every single person had enjoyed the show performed by Hoenn’s Contestants, appreciating their vibrant and passionate style that heavily contrasted with their traditional shows. They couldn’t stop talking about them, and especially, the main conversation topic was the stars of the show themselves. The sparkling Lisia, top idol from Hoenn, performing with passion and energy along her Altaria; and the fabulous May who, along her Combusken, she gave her all during the show. That day was no different, as the curtain fell while both of them greeted the audience one last time, although they would meet their new fans along the way towards their dressing room. Holding hands, signing autographs and giving thanks… they really were like celebrities. It took them a while to leave their fans behind, letting each other inside their dressing rooms. May greeted Lisia one last time with a smile and closed the door. But right when she was inside, all alone, that smile faded away instantly.

May looked around the room that had become her own space lately. It was much fancier than the ones in Hoenn, with much more space to move around, a sofa and couch to relax and bigger wardrobes to store as much clothing as she needed. None of those things thrilled her actually. Instead, she just sat on the chair in front of the dresser and looked at her own reflection. Her hair was a bit messy after the show and she was sweating. However, the excitement she showed on stage was gone. It was a switch she turned on before every Contests, and automatically turned off when she was alone. It’s been like that since the first day.

It had been a couple of weeks since May left Hoenn to join Lisia for the collaboration show in Sinnoh. From the very beginning, everything felt frantic. Practices, training, meetings... And whenever they had a break, she joined her friend and others for some sightseeing or just having fun at restaurants or cafés. Everybody would believe she was having the time of her life. However, when she was alone, there was no trace of happiness on her face. It was just her, the void… and her thoughts. Her mind inevitably going back home. And whenever that happened, just like on that moment, one specific memory came back.

Brenda.

Like compelled by an invisible force, she took her PokéNav out from a drawer and opened it. One by one, pictures and videos. Brenda acting for the first time. Brenda and May traveling through a forest. Brenda and May at the beach. And their first picture together, both of them smiling and blushing. Those images were the only thing that brought a smile to her face, even if slightly. Memories of a much happier time. Even if they were accompanied by pain. The pain of seeing Brenda going back alone to the Pokémon Center on that day. The pain of their farewell at the airport, hiding her sadness behind a fake smile. The pain of crying alone inside the plane’s bathroom with nobody else noticing. And still, she couldn’t help it. She was there, in Sinnoh, but her mind always traveled back to Hoenn, back to her…

A sudden knock made her jump in surprise, hiding her PokéNav back inside the drawer out of pure instinct. She barely had time to breath before Lisia came into the dressing room.

“Hey, May! Wanna grab something to eat? Don’t know ‘bout you, but I’m starving!”, exclaimed Lisia.

“Yeah, sure! I need some minutes to get ready”, said May with a smile.

While May began taking off her accessories, Lisia stepped in and stood next to her, resting on the edge of the dresser with her back to the mirror. None of them looked at each other, but askance, May could see her friend smiling and looking up.

“Great performance! Everybody loves it”, said Lisia.

“Oh, thanks”, answered May.

“But you still have some things to improve”, pointed out Lisia.

“Right, that step before switching places. I can’t nail it yet”, admitted May with a giggle.

“Oh, I wasn’t talking about the show”.

May’s eyes stopped moving before she could untangle her ponytail. She looked at Lisia, who showed a snarky smile on her face. She didn’t usually talk like that, like a beast playing with its prey.

“You may have tricked others, but if you wanna trick me, you better become a better actress”, said Lisia.

For a moment, May could swear Lisia was looking inside her mind. She felt cornered, uncapable of keeping her smile anymore. She needed to run away from those eyes, and so she did by looking back at the mirror.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about”, said May hoarsely.

“You ain’t fine. No matter how good you look on stage or when talking to others, I know you ain’t okay”, insisted Lisia.

May remained silent. She tried to focus on her ponytail, but it was hard to untie the ribbon. How did she tie it before? She couldn’t find the knot with her shacking hands.

“I thought we were friends, ya know? Friends talk about their problems with each other”, teased Lisia, trying to get a reaction from May. However, seeing she was still focused on her ribbon, Lisia sighed and said: “You’re still worried about Brenda”.

“I’m not worried about Brenda”, said May resoundingly.

That was the truth. May was not worried about Brenda. She was doing fine. She told herself that every single night. That’s why Brenda never called her after leaving. That’s why she didn’t bother to call her back. She knew her friend was very busy. Brenda couldn’t waste time talking to her and she didn’t want to waste her friend’s time. For what? For telling her about her shows, the ones which didn’t excite her? The city that had nothing to offer to her? Brenda was better off that way. The only one with problems was her, who still couldn’t untie her ribbon.

“You taught her well. You can’t expect her to depend on you forever, ya know?”, continued Lisia.

Of course she knew that. May never wanted Brenda to depend on her. She wanted her friend to be happy and she finally was. That’s all that mattered. She didn’t need to be reminded of that. She just wanted Lisia to stop talking about something she didn’t know about and help her with her ribbon.

“Trust me, you should focus on yourself and leave her alone. She’s fine”, commented Lisia casually.

“I know”.

A suspiciously murmur came from Lisia’s side. She looked at May, who suddenly looked frozen, her hands still on her head. But her fingers were shaking. What she didn’t know is that May had enough. Those words… They touched something inside her, like one of those Pikipek she read about, continuously pecking on trees. “She’s fine”. Over and over and over…

“I know… I know, I know, I know, I KNOW!”.

A loud slam on the dresser, another loud crash from the chair falling on the floor as she stood up quickly. Her hair was a mess after finally removing the ribbon by pulling it, still tied on her hand as she laid her weight on her arms on the dresser, looking down and gasping anxiously. Lisia stepped back. She had never seen May snap like that before.

“W- wow, chill out!”, said Lisia.

“I know!”, exclaimed May again, ignoring her friend. Then, while walking away into a corner of the room, she continued: “I know she’s fine! She’s having fun, traveling around, meeting people, enjoying her family and living her life. She’s fine without me!”.

May stopped for a moment. She needed some breath before going on with her infuriated rambling. But then, she looked at her hand. She was still holding her pink ribbon. The soft touch of the fabric, it brought back memories from the ribbons she put on Brenda on her first day. And that first memory brought along the many others in a rush, like a waterfall falling on the rocks. Suddenly, a stain on her ribbon. A tear, like many others that began falling down her cheeks. When did she begin to cry, she didn’t know, but she couldn’t stop. Powerless, she knelt down on the cold floor and held the ribbon close to her chest.

“But… I… I’m not fine without her”.

It was the first time May admitted that out loud, even to herself. For all that time, she tried to deny it, to hide it. Even though she couldn’t put it into words, she felt an incredible sadness for not being with Brenda.

“I… I miss her. I miss her drowsy face in the morning, how her eyes shine every time she sees a Pokémon… I miss eating with her at cafés and sitting next to her at night in the wild, looking at the stars… I-”.

She could keep going for much longer. There were so many things from Brenda that she enjoyed and all of them were gone. Without them, without her… She felt her life was empty. Void of any happiness she even felt before. She was nothing more than a lump of sadness, invisible to everybody else… except for Lisia, silent witness of May’s breakdown. All that time, she knew her friend felt bad and had a vague idea, but what she just saw… That was a revelation.

“May, I’m sorry. Why didn’t you tell me before? That you love her”, asked Lisia.

May kept sobbing. She was barely listening to Lisia, but a word caught her attention, making her turn around, eyes swollen and full of tears, and look at her friend with confused expression.

“What?”, murmured May.

“Duh, it’s so obvious! You. Love. Brenda”, insisted Lisia.

No, she didn’t hear wrong. Lisia said “love”. A word she heard so many times, but she never thought about. Not until that moment. Love for Brenda. The girl she couldn’t stop thinking about. Without noticing, her face turned bright red and she forgot about her previous outburst.

“Me? Love? BRENDA?”, asked May nervously. “No, it can’t be! I mean, she’s cute, and adorable, and fun, but it’s not that! I just want to see her, be with her, hold hands and…”.

And there was much more. There were so many things she wanted to do with her, much more time she wanted to spend with her. And then, one by one, all those thoughts made her arrive to the same conclusion. The one her friend accurately pointed out.

“I… I love her”, murmured May in shock.

It finally made sense for her. Why the idea of leaving Brenda was so painful. Why her previous dreams no longer mattered if they meant losing her. Why she enjoyed every single second she spent along her. It was love, an intense love May had never felt before. It was a bittersweet feeling, both wonderful and painful at the same time. But Lisia, who couldn’t notice her friend’s feelings, hugged her friend with happiness.

“Gosh, May, that’s awesome! That’s amazing! That’s…”, Lisia interrupted herself and wondered in silence for a second. Then, she shook May gently: “What are you doing here then? Why did you come? You gotta go back to Hoenn right now and tell her!”.

However, Lisia notice something was wrong. May was still kind of frozen, her eyes in shock and teary. But then, they looked sad. That was not the reaction she expected from someone finding out they were in love. There was something roaming in her mind, of that she was sure. She knew May’s mind always went full speed when she thought about something important. What she didn’t expect though was her following words:

“I can’t tell her”.

“WHAT?”, almost yelled Lisia. “What do you mean? Of course you can! You gotta go!”.

“You don’t get it. This changes… nothing!”, exclaimed May frustrated. “She doesn’t need me at all. And also… she probably doesn’t like me that way”.

May looked again at the ribbon in her hands. And once again, all the memories she shared with Brenda came back to her mind, especially those when she first came out. How much she suffered for repressing and how relieved she felt for being herself. Not everybody lived the struggles people like her did.

“Just like there aren’t many girls like Brenda, there aren’t many like me… I know that. Being lesbian, being a girl who likes girls… isn’t that common. What are the chances she likes girls too? What if she’s a girl who likes boys? We never talked about that, I… I don’t know what she feels”, said May with sadness.

“Precisely! She may like you, but you’ll never know unless you tell her!”, insisted Lisia.

“And then what? I… I already helped her. She’s already independent and… free. I can’t do anything more for her. I’d just be following her around, annoying her. What else can I give to her?”, asked May.

Lisia felt pity for May. How could she believe something like that, only deserving love in exchange of something else? She had never seen May so down, and while they were friends, Lisia never had the chance to do something for her. So for the first time, taking May by surprise, she hugged her from her back with all her love and warmth.

“Your love. That’s more than enough”, murmured Lisia with sweet voice.

Still sobbing and with tender eyes, May turned around and looked at Lisia. She was smiling, but in a different way than usual. It was not the smile of a star. It was honest and pure.

“Look, I don’t know much about love, but… When two people love each other, they balance each other. The time you spent together, your company… Sharing your laughs and offering your shoulder to support the other… Those things are precious!”, explained Lisia. “It’s not just about being useful. It’s about sharing who you two are with each other, in both good and bad times. That’s love”.

Beautiful words that May couldn’t fully believe. Brenda was such a wonderful girl. She deserved much more than that. She deserved much more than whatever May could ever give to her. That was the sad reality she had learned during the time she traveled along her dear friend. It was better, or rather easier, to accept such reality. Slowly, May released from Lisia’s hug and stood up.

“It’s okay. It’s better this way. Brenda will be much happier with someone else”, said May with sadness as she walked towards the door without even changing her outfit. Lisia wanted to protest and follow her, but May made a hand gesture, asking to be left alone. However, right before leaving the dressing room, she said: “But… thanks. Thanks for helping me realize”.

May left in silence, like a ghost sliding through a lonely corridor, like a Shedinja left behind by a recently evolved Ninjask. Lisia found herself alone in the dressing room. She felt bad about her friend, but she knew May. It could be hard to change her mind when she was so stubbornly convinced about something, especially with something so important and painful like that.

“May… We’ve been friends for so long…”, began murmuring Lisia. “After telling me all this… you really think I’m gonna sit back and do nothing?”.

Then, Lisia searched inside a hidden pocket in her skirt and took her PokéNav out. After browsing for a bit through her contact list, the screen displayed “Brenda”. A snarky smile appeared on her face before saying:

“Sweetie, you still got a lot to learn”.