“je…jejeje” I took a swing of the glass I ordered at a bar near Michel´s house I don’t want to think about this, maybe there’s some happiness at the end of this tequila bottle, after he told me I stopped thinking, after I told him I loved him my head became hazy I´m not even sure how I got here, but I need to think about what I will do I still need to tell Lisa about this and, “Jeje…jeje…jee” I´ll worry about that later, this is not strong enough I can’t think about his heart, I don’t want to think about it, and the bottle is almost empty “Richi” I heard a familiar voice though the haze I spined in the sit and looked at my friends all of them looking warily at me I smiled lazily “Girl!” I called them over, “Come here, we should have a drink!” I chuckled as they walked. I filled some shot glasses with the tequila and waited for them to grab them, but they didn’t. “Richard… what happened?” Mari asked while I downed one of the glasses, “Oh, you know, just a normal day for dear old Richi.” Bianca sniffed the air around me, “except you don’t drink like this.” I half closed my eyes and forced a smile. “Okay, now can anyone explain to me what the hell is going on?” Lisa asked, “Oh Lisa, Lisa, Lisa, I have been talking to Michel, actually more than talk, we've been hanging out, we hug, we kiss.” My eyes turned sad, and my laugh sounded more like a soft sobbing, “It´s just as bad as your open mouth indicates.” “so is because of that jackass that you are like this! What did he do?” Elise held Lisa in place when she tried to go look for him “you don’t have to go and kill him” I downed another one of the shots “just give him a few days, his heart is sick… right Bianca?” Bianca blinked and lowered her eyes. “What does that mean, Bi?” Mari asked, “I… I read the cards for Richard and… oh god, is he really?”  I nodded, “he is and is just as fucked up as you all think… imagining, I thought, I genuinely, ingeniously believe that he could be back” no more laughter only tears and sobs “that he would stay, but it turned out… he was dying” “I could read them again… maybe somethi-”

“Right… the card.” I don’t know what came over me. I grabbed the final glass and smashed it against the floor “Read me the cards!” The other customers turned around, “Tell me my fortune, Bianca! Tell me that this has a happy ending because I can’t see one!” I walked out of the bar with wobbly steps, followed by the girls' “Richard!” “What? Is this the part where you guys say I fucked up? Or the part where you are all disappointed at me, come one why don’t you just-” I felt the hit and the sting when Lisa´s hand connected to my cheek “you are drunk and hysterical” she said “we would never think that Richard, but you are looking to be blamed for wanting to help someone” Elise added “I saw how he was looking at you whether that was the sickness or his actual change, it is real” Mari noted “I saw danger yeah but I also saw possibility” Bianca told me “now stop blaming yourself because you need to take a decision” I caressed my cheek and nodded “I´m scared and I want to run away… but I… I want to… I want to stay with him, I want to wake up next to him, I want us to walk Mika in the park, I want to watch bad TV shows and laugh at nothing… I don’t know what I would do if he doesn’t survive.” They all walked and hugged me. “We are all scared for you, too. “I´m still upset you didn’t tell me,” Lisa said, “sorry, I was going to, but then this happened.” “I did slap you, so we are even.”