“How about introducing me to a friend at work?”

“Friend?”

“I’m being generous assuming there’s even one human willing to put up with you.” And if that human exists, I’d suspect them to be an extraterrestrial body conducting an experiment on humanity’s ability to make life harder for themselves. This guy can take it easy if he just follows what I say, but he’s stubborn and set in his ways. He’s hired me, but he doesn’t trust me. He doesn’t mind sharing information as long as he can control the flow of what I’m allowed to know.

I don’t work around other people’s restrictions like that.

I need him to relinquish control of the steering wheel if he doesn’t know how to drive the car.

“Why do you need to meet my colleagues?"

“I don’t. It’s your family that I need information on,” I pinch the bridge of my nose to fight off an oncoming headache. “-but if you’re so against me speaking with them, then do a trial-run with someone unrelated!”

“I see. So, that’s what you were trying to say…”

“Was that not obvious?”

“I don’t infer from context. I’m a lawyer. You have to be direct with me and state your intentions clearly.” I lean my head against my palm and press my middle finger against my temple. 

“Zhulong, are you being difficult on purpose or are you a natural at it?” 

“Is my request too difficult for you to follow?”

I’ve never met a more infuriating human being in my entire life. I hunch over the table with my head in my hands and sigh. I’m getting a migraine split down the middle of my brain. It feels like a surgeon has slipped a scalpel straight through my prefrontal cortex.

By sheer luck or coincidence, the waiter brings us the bill, and I pull out my debit card to pay for our beverages. 

“Is everything alright, Karma?” I know this kid, but I don’t have time or energy for niceties, so I’m unceremoniously rude by accident. 

“Yes, don’t worry about it.” I regret it immediately and try to salvage it, but I’m not sure I’m doing a good job. “Sorry, everything we were served was lovely. I’m just a bit fatigued.” It doesn’t look like he’s upset. If anything, he looks more worried than bothered with my offputting tone. He holds the card over the machine until it lets out an audible beep.

“If you’re tired, I can bring you some water,” I wave at him to stop him mid-sentence. Unless he knows how to get rid of an annoying, growling puppy, I’m afraid he can’t help me.

When I move to take my card back, a gloved hand reaches for it faster than I do and snags it from the waiter. Has the poor kid not suffered enough talking to us? What the hell is this man doing?

“Hey-!” I snap and snatch the card from Zhulong’s hands. The waiter seems incredibly apologetic for letting it happen under his watch, even if he couldn’t have predicted it. I’ll be sure to leave him a good tip next time I visit. Who does Zhulong think he is? He may not look like it, but he’s far more suspicious than anyone living in this neighbourhood when he acts like that. If it wasn’t for his suit and tie, he’d be viewed as a criminal. “-do you do kleptomancy on the side? This isn’t the first time you’ve stolen something of mine.”

“Lux isn’t your legal name.” Is that all he wanted to check? Was he suspicious of my identity? He’s already paid me. It’d be too late to back out now, even if I was a scam-artist.

“Congrats, you can read. If you wanted to prove your literacy, you could’ve started with the menu.” 

“Why is your first name Lucia?”

“Why is your first name Noodle?” It’s been years since anyone called me ‘Lucia’ so the sound of my own name gives me a weird ick. 

“It’s Nuri.” No sense of humor, this one. “Lucia is a girl’s name. Why would your parents name you Lucia instead of Lucius?”

“Because my parents hated me. Satisfied?” I shove my card into my wallet and make a mental note to only bring out cash around him. Better keep my ID and my passport in the office so he doesn’t try to pickpocket me again. I can’t exactly leave my debit card behind, so I’ll just avoid using it when I’m with him.

“I didn’t think ‘Karma’ was actually your family name. It’s unusual.” I grab my pack of smokes and bite the end of a cigarette to pull it out of the box. Seems like I need to buy a new one already.

“It’s not my family name. It’s my surname.” It takes a second for the lighter to spark a flame. I might need to refill it soon.

“You’re married?” I take a drag and blow smoke into the air. I feel calmer already.

“No.”

“Then, why do you have a different surname from your parents?”

“Look,” I point my cigarette at him, and he leans back to avoid the smoke. “-do you want a candlelight dinner where we share our tragic backstories, kiss and live happily ever after, or do you want to stop a murder?”

“......Alright.”

“What? I was joking.” I’m not having dinner with you, not even if you’re the one paying.

“What do we do after I introduce you as my boyfriend?”

Hang on, is he actually going to accept my proposal? I was trying to use the door-in-the-face technique to persuade him to talk, but if this keeps going I might actually have to slam a door in his face.

“Lucia?” I never thought hearing my own name would feel so alien. I don’t want to hear it again.

“You will call me ‘Karma’.” No one calls me by my given name. No one even knows my given name except this bastard.

“If we’re supposed to marry, don’t we have to be on a first-name-basis?”

Wow, that brain of his works very selectively. What happened to not inferring context from my statements?

“Then, call me Lux. Forget you ever saw my legal name.” 

“Is that what your colleagues call you?”

“My colleagues call me ‘boss’ or ‘chief’,” I smirk and blow a cloud of smoke in his direction. He frowns and waves his hand in front of his nose to disperse the smell. “-you can call me ‘boss’ too, but we’d have to explain that I’m the dom in the relationship.”

“The dom?”

“Nevermind,” I put out my cigarette in the ashtray and grab my things so we can head back. It’s not even easy to make fun of him when he’s so clueless. “-I’ll let them infer from context clues.” It was impulsive of me to light a cig when I knew I was going to be writing in my notepad in a moment.

“Is that it for today?”

Did he really just ask me that…?

“Oh, you sweet, spoiled, pampered child…” I click my pen and start a list. “-you don’t get to clock out of this partnership until it’s finished or you’re dead.” 

Whichever comes first.

It looks like my client has finally resigned to his fate, and he doesn’t look too thrilled about it either. Yeah, well, if I have to act as his boyfriend, this isn’t going to be a walk in the park for me either. I’m lucky that my building is so close by, because the awkward silence would have been unnerving during a longer walk.

“Boss,” Seito approaches me the moment we step inside the office. Whatever’s on his mind, it must be urgent for him to seek me out at the entrance. “-Sir Kiranovic requests your presence.”

Ah, damn it.

Kiranov. Another infuriating man that cuts down my life expectancy each time we meet.

“Is this about the land?” I pinch the bridge of my nose and sigh when Seito takes a moment too long to answer. That alone already tells me what I need to know.

“It seems so.” A curious set of eyes peek over my shoulder and invade my personal space without a shred of remorse. 

“Who is Kiranovic?” I shove my hand against my disobedient pomeranian’s face and push him back into his own breathing-space.

“No one. Can you relay a message for me, Seito?”

“Yes, boss. What message should I deliver?”

“Great. Tell him,” I grab my upper-arm, bend my elbow, and flip him the middle finger. “-this is all he’ll get out of me.” I don’t have to look Seito’s way to know he’s knitting his brows together in exasperation. 

“....May I request you to express yourself in a more dignified manner?”

“No. This sends the clearest message.” I wave for Zhulong to step into my office, and it takes him a moment to catch his bearings. Or maybe he’s just trying to find an excuse to listen in on our conversation. “I’m sick of seeing them flock around my business like vultures. If we give them an inch, they’ll only get more aggressive.” 

“Very well. I’ll let Sir Kiranovic know you’ve rejected his proposal.”

“No, flip him off.”

“Boss…”

“I’m telling you. It’s effective.” Seito’s sigh brings a smile to my face.

“How does this look?” Seito repeats the hand gesture exactly as I’ve shown him, and it makes me chuckle.

“Perfect. As expected of my favorite employee. You’re dismissed. Let me know what sort of face he makes before you kick him out.”

“Will do, boss.” he bows his head and takes his leave through the back-door. He knows not to let Kiranov into the building because once that man sets foot inside this office, it’s a pain in the ass to get him to leave.

“So, you are able to smile after all.” I turn to look towards my client, and immediately lose my spirit. Well, happiness is much like cherry-blossoms. Incredibly fleeting.

“You give me no reason to smile. Be kind to me and I’ll smile at you, too.” I head into my office and kick the door shut so I can snap at Zhulong in private if he annoys me past what I can tolerate.

“Have I not been kind?” I see he’s planning on speed-running to his downfall today. At least he’s considerate enough to save me some time.

“Paying me isn’t being kind.” 

“Trusting you with my case isn’t kind?”

“You don’t trust me with shit.”