After work on Friday, Darius met Kat at the animal shelter, and they caught a movie. It was a light-hearted feature, and Kat was enjoying it, until Darius slid his arm around her shoulders.

The movie kept playing, but Kat sat frozen. She didn’t know if she was making a strange face, but Darius’s eyes slid over to her, and he immediately withdrew his arm, clearing his throat and muttering an apology. Kat spent the rest of the movie scolding herself, and by the time the credits rolled, she was desperate to leave the theater. The chilly night air brought a much-needed reprieve from the crowded, stuffy building.

Darius weaved a path through the crowd, parting them like water. Once they’d broken away from the mass of people, Kat could stand it no longer.

“Darius? I need to talk to you,”

 “Did I do something wrong?” He looked so stung that Kat’s heart dropped to her shoes.

“No! It’s not you, I swear, it’s me.” She picked at the hem of her hoodie.

Darius stopped short on the sidewalk, rounding on her. “Is it JD?”

Kat’s courage unraveled, tangling in confusion. “Is what JD?”

“Is that why you’re breaking up with me?” he asked in a low, severe voice.

“Breaking up with...?” Kat stammered, blinking rapidly as she processed what he’d said. “Darius, no! Oh, my gosh, no! I’m not breaking up with you!”

“You’re not?”

“I’m not!” Kat shifted her weight from one foot to the other on the sidewalk. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to give you that impression! I... I just wanted to explain why I’ve been so weird about holding hands and hugging and... and about what happened in the movie theater,” she blurted.

He nodded, wordless and attentive, while Kat squirmed. She took a deep breath and the words tumbled from her lips in a rush.

“I had a bad experience in high school that kind of ruined physical contact for me. I want to keep dating you, though. I like you, and I really enjoy spending time with you. I just can’t get physical right now. Is that okay?” She spilled the words out and looked up at him with wide eyes.

A dawning understanding came over Darius’s face. “That’s why you don’t-? I had no idea. What happened?”

Kat couldn’t look at him. Maybe she shouldn’t have said anything. But no. Jonas’s advice was good and fair, and she would follow it, even though it was eating her up inside. Darius deserved honesty, even if it clawed at her like brambles. Her face closed, shoulders drooping. How was she supposed to do this?

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked,” Darius said, immediately trying to placate her.

“No, it’s okay.” Kat chewed her thumb and stood up straight with an effort. “You deserve to know. Basically, a guy in high school wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer when he asked me to a dance and got aggressive about it.”

The memory was sharp and clear as broken glass.

He’d yelled at her and started dragging her to his car when she’d said no. And when she’d screamed, he’d slapped her. Kat had always been petite, but at that moment, for the first time in her life, she’d felt small. The realization had left her paralyzed, not from pain but from sheer powerlessness.

Cami had come in clutch at that moment, showing up out of the blue to stop things from going further.

Kat’s hands shook, and she hid them inside her hoodie pocket so Darius wouldn’t see them.

Darius met her stare, and she looked away, intimidated by the intensity in his eyes. What if he didn’t want to see her anymore, because she couldn’t handle cuddling or kissing? As much as she wanted to change, the thought of romantic physical affection still made her queasy.

“What was his name?” Darius asked suddenly, his tone oddly hollow.

People parted around them on the sidewalk, oblivious to the scene playing out.

“The name of the guy in high school?” Kat asked.

“Yes. What was the jerk’s name?”

“Uh, Mariano,” Kat grimaced, wondering why he wanted to know. “After that night, I never saw him again. I think he got expelled,” she said doubtfully. “Maybe he turned his life around. I don’t know.”

She hated the quiver in her voice.

Darius stepped closer, and Kat turned to stone.

“I’m so sorry that he did that to you,” he said softly. The steel vanished from his voice.

“It’s not as bad as you’re probably thinking, but it was a... difficult time. Since then... all of the,” she waved her hands vaguely, “grabbing and stuff, it really gets to me. It’s worse when I’m not expecting it. I... can’t handle touch very well.”

“Not even hugs?” There was a note of raw disappointment in his voice. “You’d rather I didn’t touch you at all?”

Sadness swelled inside Kat for both of them. He was always trying so hard to make sure she was happy. She wanted him to be happy, too. Maybe she could try harder. Practice? She could practice. She felt safe around him, and he hadn’t pushed, and she wanted to give this a real shot.

“No,” Kat forced herself to meet his eyes. “I want to try to get better. Maybe not all at once, but we can practice. Maybe I’ll get used to it.”

She hesitated and then held out her hand to him. Darius reached over and lightly took her fingers, rubbing his thumb across her skin.

“You’re sure?” He checked as she shuddered.

“Yeah. Yes. Does that mean that you’re okay with things moving slowly?” Her heart beat harder as she waited for his answer.

“I’m fine with that,” he said gently. “I want you to be comfortable, and frankly, I’m just relieved you’re not breaking up with me.” His face turned pained. “Mmm... But, ah, your nails are digging in a bit-“

“Oh, crickets. I’m sorry.” Kat said, mortified. She tried to relax her hand with minor success. Her skin was clammy and unnatural against his, the sensation worsening the longer she focused on it.

“Would it help if I wore gloves, too?” Darius asked, guiding her to resume walking.

“Then we’d both look like edge lords. I only wear these so I don’t scrape up my hands.” They fell into a rhythm after a few minutes, adjusting to each other’s stride.

“You should consider wearing a helmet and kneepads, too.” Darius gave a single laugh.

Kat made a face. “You’re trying to distract me from the hand-holding.”

“Yes.”

“It’s working. Are you insinuating that I scrape up more than my hands? How dare you. I am a very skillful novice free runner.” They left the street, continuing their stroll through the park, leaving behind the sound of cars and the bustle of strangers who were also enjoying the pleasant spring evening.

“With a fresh scar on her cheek,” Darius whispered.

“A small scar, and you know that one wasn’t my fault. I didn’t even know glass could bounce like that. Thanks again for scaring that guy off, by the way. That could’ve been dangerous for you.”

Her face clouded, thinking how he’d hit that man.

“Even if it had been, I’d do it again. I’d die for you, Kat.”

Kat’s toe snagged on the sidewalk, but Darius’s hand stopped her from hitting the pavement. How could he just say stuff like that? She studied his determined expression and realized he wasn’t simply saying it. He meant it.

“Th-thank you, luckily, that’s not necessary. I’ve made it nineteen years so far without a single death, you know. I haven’t even broken a bone! Perfect track record. So no body armor needed.”

“...It would have prevented the road rash on your knee...”

Kat gaped at him. “How’d you know about that?”

“There’s blood on your jeans. You jump around on walls and ledges. Two and two...”

She looked down. Tiny blots stained the knee of her jeans. Two days ago, she’d slightly miscalculated a pop vault and scraped it on a wall.

“All the walking probably split it again. Bumblebees and badgers, you noticed that in the dark?” She stared at him, incredulous.

Darius shrugged.

“Okay, fine, so I have a few mild war wounds, but nothing serious,” Kat confessed.

“Yet.”

Kat elbowed him, leaving him looking startled and mildly delighted.

“I’ve only had one concussion, and that was when I was six, FYI!” She insisted.

“You’re only proving my point.” Darius tapped his forehead with his free hand. “Helmet. Knee pads. Actually, in your case, maybe bubble wrap and full body armor.”

“That’s ridiculous. Who ever heard of someone wall jumping in Kevlar?” Kat sniffed.

“I’m just saying you’re the most accident-prone person I’ve ever met, by far.” He shook his head.

“Yet, somehow, I am still alive and have never broken a bone.” Kat reminded him haughtily. “And all that without armor.”

“...But with a lot of bandaids.”

“Yes. A lot of them. And antiseptic.”

#

Darius walked Kat to the door and they said their goodbyes. She went inside to find Cami lying on the couch, holding her phone above her face, waving one foot back and forth while the paint on her toenails dried. A pack of candied almonds sat on the coffee table, and a silent commercial flashed brightly on the TV.

Kat was mildly surprised to see her cousin at home at this hour, then remembered that she’d been home more than usual since breaking up with Nate. Kat set her keys in the bowl by the door and braced herself for the inevitable onslaught of questions.

“You’re back late.” Cami didn’t look up.

“Darius and I caught a movie.”

“Since when do you go to movies?”

“I guess... since I have someone to go with.” That one had not been on Kat’s list of questions she might have to answer.

“What am I? Chopped liver?”

The annoyance on Cami’s face was tinged with a smirk. Kat looked carefully but saw no offense, only teasing. “I thought you didn’t like movies?”

“I don’t.” Cami yawned. “But I like doing stuff. Staying in is horrible.” Cami scoffed and loudly crunched an almond.

Kat’s eyes followed the motion, and she came over and picked up a couple of stray almonds that had fallen onto the carpet, bringing them to the kitchen garbage.

“You two set a date yet or what?”

“Very funny.” Kat blushed and transferred a dirty dish from the counter to the sink, idly cleaning up to help herself think.

“Well, you guys are practically glued together.” Cami taunted. “I’m surprised you haven’t talked about it.”

Which reminded Kat of what she and Darius had talked about. She finished clearing the counters and grabbed the broom from the pantry, full of nervous energy.

“...Cami?”

“If you’re going to brag about how great tonight went, do me a favor and shut up.”

Kat almost swallowed her question entirely, but Cami went on.

“Spit it out, kitten. You look like somebody stole your lunch money.”

She squeezed the broom handle, wondering if she should even ask. She’d asked Jonas, but Cami was her cousin, the only other woman in her life that she was close to besides her grandmother, and with her being busy getting ready to move to the retirement home, Kat didn’t want to bother her.

 “How do you know...when... when it’s right, with a guy?”

Cami’s eyebrows shot up and then lowered into a scowl, and Kat knew she was in for it.

“When they don’t ditch you for some Gucci-coated, money-waving— ” Cami cleared her throat and suppressed a sneer. “When they treat you right.”

Kat went quiet, turning the word over in her head. What did ‘right’ mean? How did it feel, and what did it look like?

Cami sighed and sat up on the couch to gesture more freely. “The right guy should make you feel special. Valuable. One of a kind. He’ll give you what you need, and he definitely won’t break it off with you after you’ve sold your car to pay off his gambling debt and saved his sorry, pathetic excuse for a—”

Kat started sweeping again, slowly, while Cami finished her language-filled tirade. Beneath the anger, she could sense a deep hurt from her cousin. The only other time she’d seen her like this was a couple of years ago after she’d broken up with her last boyfriend. Then she’d vanished without so much as a text. Three weeks later, she’d returned, acting like nothing had happened.

“And why are you asking, anyway? Did he do something to you?” Cami’s sharp tongue was aimed at her again, and Kat hurriedly shook her head.

“No, no. But it feels like Darius and I are getting more serious, and-”

“Were you two getting handsy in the movie theatre?”

Kat’s pity seeped away. “No. But I did talk to him about why I’m not okay being physical.”

“’Cause you’re a hecking prude?” Cami sniped, then seemed to notice the look on Kat’s face. “It’s the alcohol talking. You told him about that thing that happened at prom?”

Kat nodded from the kitchen.

“Take it from me, kitten. Don’t let a few jerks ruin your love life. Or any part of your life.”

Kat wavered, then set the broom aside and perched on the arm of the couch. Cami had moved away from home at a young age, too. But unlike Kat, she’d left to get away from a dangerous ex who’d gotten violent with her. Cami had responded by buying a baseball bat and leaving town. Even wounded by Nate’s disloyalty, Cami held herself with confidence and fire.

“How’d he take it, then?” Cami wanted to know.

“Umh, pretty well, I think. He said he’s alright with taking things slowly.”

“Geez, he must be as prudish as you. Not a deal-breaker for him, then, clearly.”

“No. He invited me to dinner tomorrow at a place called Bonito or something?” She tried to remember exactly what he’d said.

Cami’s eyes sparked with new interest. “Bonetti’s?”

“That’s the one.”

Cami cursed and got up off of the couch. “Ugh, sometimes I hate you. Bonetti’s is the best Italian place in town. You’ll need to dress nice, and I mean nice. You can borrow one of my shawls, and I’ll do your hair.”

Kat blinked. She believed her cousin. Cami made a point of checking out all the premier eateries, from food trucks to fine dining. “Thank you..!”

“I’m tapping out.” With an elegant stretch and a hair toss, Cami headed toward her room.

“Wait, uh, Cami. Are you doing okay? After the whole Nate thing, I mean. You’re not going to leave or something, are you?” Kat clamped her mouth shut when her cousin stopped in the hallway to give her a baleful stare.

“Oh, please, chickadee. I’m not going anywhere.” She rolled her eyes, then paused. “Bijou, Miranda, and I already had a very cathartic bull session over the whole thing. That said, you’d better bring me back some leftovers tomorrow.”

 “Of course, Cami,” Kat promised.

She padded into her room and tugged her closet doors open, scrutinizing her wardrobe options for something that would look nice with a shawl. Dinner at Bonetti’s with Darius! She wasn’t sure what tomorrow would bring... but she was excited to find out.