Monroe walked down the aisle in her white dress. She looked down at herself as she did, she wondered why she had chosen a white gown. She hated it. In her hand was a bouquet of red roses, she loved roses but red was her least favorite type of rose. She looked around as she walked down the aisle, the whole scene seemed wrong. They were in a church, she could have sworn they had booked a different venue for the wedding. She thought churches were too stuffy and she wasn’t particularly religious, neither was Darcy.

She looked at the altar and there she saw Darcy, he was wearing a white tux with a red bowtie, again, not a color Darcy usually went for. She tried to ground herself by counting her steps as she reached the altar. Once she reached him, Darcy smiled at her. But Monroe did not find comfort in his smile, his features were not right. He began speaking as color drained away from his face. “I love you and I want you—”

Finally, his face morphed, twisting and rearranging wildly as she took a step back. It was not Darcy anymore, it was Dave. “In sickness and in health, Monroe.”

Monroe dropped the flowers as she stared at him in shock. Dave leaned in, bringing his head close to hers. “You are my sickness.”

Monroe turned to run but was pulled back into Dave’s space when she realized her arms had been cuffed and chained to Dave’s. She was at his mercy. “Did you ever consider that I was normal before I met you?”

Suddenly Dave wasn’t wearing a tux anymore, he was wearing an orange jumpsuit, something a prisoner would wear. Dave brought his hands up to his chest, they were cuffed. “You did this to me Monroe.”

Monroe glanced down and found the chains had disappeared, but she did not run. Instead, she tried to reason with him. “I never wanted this to happen. You were supposed to move on!”

Dave’s hand traveled to Monroe’s waist, pulling her close to his chest. “How could I ever move on?”

Tears began collecting at the corners of his eyes. “How could you ever move on.”

Monroe hated the sensation of him touching her body. She placed her arms on his chest and pushed back against him, creating distance between them. “I will move on! I have moved on! You do not define me! You were only a small part of my story! One day you will be nothing but an unpleasant memory!”

Dave reached out and grabbed her violently by the mouth. “You keep telling yourself that. You know you belong to me. Now and always. You’re my girl.”

Monroe watched in horror as his mouth aggressively clashed against hers, forcing a kiss on her.

“No! No! I don’t want this!”

Monroe shot up from her bed, screaming as tears overflowed. “NO! NO! NO!”

Darcy’s eyes flew open as he watched Monroe scream and scratch at her own face. Darcy held her arms, gently shaking her. “Mon! Mon! Monroe!”

Monroe opened her eyes and saw Darcy, her nightmare seemed so distant now that she was seeing Darcy, the real Darcy. “Mon, it’s only a nightmare. You’re safe.”

She sighed with relief as she tried to steady her breath. “Oh…”

“Are you okay? You scratched yourself.” Darcy said tracing a finger over the lines on her face. It wasn’t deep, the wound would probably disappear in a few minutes.

Monroe leaned against the headboard, clasping her hands together as she spoke. “Honestly? No. But I will be.”

Darcy began getting out of bed, gently trying to coax Monroe to join him. “Come to the kitchen with me. I’ll make you some tea.”

They walked together in silence as they made their way downstairs. Monroe sat at the table as Darcy put on a kettle. He waited for the water to heat as he searched for some chamomile tea. Once the water was sufficiently hot, he poured it into a mug. “You know, you could always talk to me about it. I know it’s not the same as talking to a therapist. But I’d be willing to listen.”

Darcy placed the mug in front of her, setting it down on the table. He took a seat beside her as he waited for her to speak. Monroe shifted in her seat, and after a moment, she decided to open up to Darcy. “I guess I never really talked about Dave with you…about the way things were when we were together. I always steered away from the subject because I felt stupid. I didn’t like the person I was when I was with him. I was different. I was far from perfect, but Dave…Dave was a lying, cheating, abusive scumbag.”

She blew at the tea and took a small sip, relishing the warmth and earthy flavor of the liquid. “I was a broken, bitter person. He would come home with hickies on his neck, smelling of other women’s perfumes. He would say. ‘Come on, you know you’re my girl.’ And I believed him. I believed I was his girl, even when he was unfaithful. But that did not stop the pain, and it did not stop me from reacting to it. I would call him names; I would insult him. It was the only way I knew of evening the score.”

She paused for a second, lost in the memories. “We…would go to bars and he would hit on other girls in front of me. It’s like he was testing me, trying to see how far he could go. Instead of leaving him, I would drink myself into a stupor. He would simply leave me there. He always figured I’d make it home somehow; he didn’t really care if anything happened to me. But if I didn’t come home the next day, he would act like he was worried. I didn’t understand it. If he was truly worried, why leave me there? I was nothing but a mean drunk whose boyfriend cheated on her constantly. I was a doormat.”

Darcy tried to calm himself. He didn’t want to look visibly angry; he didn’t want to react emotionally when Monroe was bearing her soul to him. She continued. “He loved diminishing my accomplishments. When I graduated from university, he told me I had wasted my time. He told me I would never make it in the industry, and I would just end up as someone’s coffee girl. He had so much contempt for my choices.”

“He even hit me once. I had called him out on his cheating, and he drunkenly slapped me. I felt so betrayed. I punched him in the face. I think if I had not done that, he would have continued to hit me. It was rare that I stood up for myself, but when I did, he would not push back. Always the coward.” Monroe heard the words coming out and it was almost as if she was having an out-of-body experience.

Darcy grinded his teeth, he never could have imagined just how horrible Dave had been to her all those years. Monroe took another sip of her drink. “There were so many moments I could have walked away. Moments I should have walked away. Like when he threatened to kill me. A regular at our bar hit on me, Dave had left me hanging for hours, when he finally arrived, he saw the patron a little too close to me. I had rejected him, but Dave was still jealous. I didn’t understand how he could ever feel jealous over me. When we got home, he told me that if I ever cheated on him, he would kill me. I was actually so messed up, that the threat didn’t alarm me. I just brushed it off like it was nothing. I didn’t walk away.”

Darcy felt bile rise in the back of his throat. All the signs had been there, but Dave had worked so hard to blind Monroe, to make her submit to him, that she missed them. “He was a serial cheater. And he always had the same excuse. ‘I’m a man, it’s the way I was built. I can’t help myself.’ I started believing him. Maybe he was wired differently. Maybe cheating on me dozens of times was just what it took to be with him. But I didn’t want to pay that price. Every time I thought about leaving, he would bombard me with affection. He would beg. He would tell me he would never do it again. His half-assed apologies were all it took for me to take him back.”

Darcy swallowed hard. He was vibrating with barely contained anger. Prison was too good for Dave. Monroe’s eyes began watering. “He never respected me. And I never respected myself. I was so pathetic and now…a part of me feels bad that he’s in prison. I feel somehow responsible. Like our relationship was so bad that it drove him to do what he did. Like…what if it’s my fault?”

Darcy tried to keep his tone even, but his anger got the better of him. “No Mon, he tried to kill you. Nothing can justify that.”

Monroe shrunk in her chair as she spoke. “Maybe I deserved it.”

Darcy took her into his arms, hugging her tightly as he spoke. He never wanted to hear her say those words again. “Don’t ever say that. I know I didn’t know you back then, I never got to know the person you’re describing but I know you now. I’ve never known such a kind, gentle soul. You didn’t deserve the way Dave treated you. Now or back then. You are not perfect Monroe, neither am I, but it’s okay. You taught me that.”

Monroe was fully crying as she melted into Darcy’s touch. “You know, when we first started dating, I was afraid. You were so kind. You were so respectful. No one had ever shown me that type of kindness before. I didn’t know what to do with it. I was sure I didn’t deserve you. You were too good for me.”

Darcy laughed as he pulled back to gaze into her lilac eyes. “Funny, here I thought I didn’t deserve you. But now I know we were made for each other. I love you. I love your virtues. I love your flaws. I’m just very grateful for your existence.”

Monroe leaned in and planted a kiss on his lips, her message clear; I am grateful for you too.

***

               Monroe went through her clipboard as she ran through the information for a final time. She was sitting on her cream couch; Darcy watched her from the kitchen table as he held a newspaper in his hands.  She smiled. “I think that’s all. I’ve finally finished planning the wedding.”

Darcy smiled as he adjusted his glasses. “And with three days to spare.”

Monroe got up and walked over to him, taking a seat across from Darcy. “When this is all over, I’m going to send Val a fruit basket as a thank you. I couldn’t have done this without her.”

Darcy’s eyes scanned the newspaper as he spoke. “Wedding planner and my best woman. She’s certainly been very helpful.”

Monroe reached across the table and touched Darcy’s hair, slightly brushing it back with her hand. “You know, I miss your long hair already.” Darcy had cut his hair in anticipation of the wedding.

“I know but I wanted to look presentable for the wedding. Besides, I can always grow it back if I want to.” He told her as he smiled.

Monroe got up from her seat, and sat on Darcy’s lap, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. “You look handsome either way.”

They began kissing but were interrupted by loud knocking that came upon their door. They both got up from their seat and made their way over to the door. When Monroe opened it, they found Mario on the other side. “Apa?” Monroe asked him, feeling a little confused. Mario didn’t really visit her. “What are you doing here?”

Mario watched her through knotted brows. “Mija…your mom passed away last night. She asked me to tell you that she was sorry and that she loves you.”

Monroe’s face was blank. She heard her dad speaking but she could not comprehend his words. Her mother had always had terrible timing. She held out long enough to die only three days before her wedding. Monroe would laugh at the irony if she wasn’t so emotionally bankrupt.

“We’re having a memorial service for her tomorrow. I would like you to be there and say a couple words.” Mario said to her softly.

Monroe was quiet for a moment. Blinking slowly as she tried to comprehend what he was saying to her. “No. No, I’m not going to do that.”

Darcy watched them nervously from behind as Mario spoke. “Monroe please, she was your mother and now she’s dead. This is the least you could do for her.”

Monroe leaned into her dad’s space, poignantly enunciating every word she spoke. “I don’t owe her shit. I am getting married in three days. I don’t need this right now.”

Mario felt frustration at Monroe’s inability to cooperate. “Come to the memorial service or I won’t walk you down the aisle.” He threatened.

Monroe felt the pang of betrayal hit her straight through her chest, but externally she did not emote. “Then I’ll walk by myself. You are no longer welcome to our wedding.”

Mario regretted his words immediately. “No! Monroe, don’t do this!” He begged, but Monroe had had enough. She slammed the door in his face and walked back to the kitchen, placing her hands on the table as her head hung between her shoulders. Darcy watched her carefully. “Mon?”

She turned to look at him, her face was still unemotive, it sent chills down Darcy’s spine. This is how Monroe got when she began shutting down. “I’m okay. This…was just unexpected.”

He walked over to her and hugged her, trying to comfort her as best as he could. “I’m sorry your dad did that to you.”

Monroe sighed. “I’m done letting my father walk all over me. First, he ambushed me with that woman, and now this? I’m done. I’ll just walk down the aisle by myself. He never agreed with this wedding in the first place. It’s better this way.”

Darcy’s grip on her tightened. He admired her so much. “You are so strong Mon.”

She looked up at him as if she was trying to gauge whether or not he was being truthful. “Really?”

“You’re the strongest person I know.” He told her through a smile.

The tension she was carrying melted away, her face became soft as she eyed him. “Thank you.” She said, embracing him once more.