December was miserable.

Holiday dinners, office parties, families who wanted tables for twelve with two days’ notice. Every night seemed to produce another reservation somebody had somehow squeezed into a room that was already full.

By Thursday, I had stopped checking the clock unless a ticket required it. I looked through the window while zoning out for a second, allowing myself a moment of peace.

Black hair disappeared through Bella-Donna’s door. I leaned slightly to see past Marco. For a moment I wondered if exhaustion had finally started producing hallucinations.

The door had already closed, but I knew it was him. On a Thursday. Well. That was nice. I went back to work and strangely, the rest of the shift felt a little easier.

Table fourteen still sent something back because apparently ordering lamb medium and receiving lamb medium was not, in fact, lamb medium. Marco dropped an entire container of chopped parsley. Somebody at the front rang in an allergy after the dish had already been fired.

But I was in a good mood. Every now and then, when I passed the window, I looked outside. Nothing. Later, nothing again.

I was waiting for a smoke break. His, not mine. I hadn’t seen him come outside once.

Whatever. I had work to do.

By eleven, Toscana was empty.

The last table left. The front was closed. Stations were broken down and cleaned while everybody wanted to go home. I should have been one of them.

“Geonsu, you coming?”

“In a minute. I want to check inventory.”

I didn’t have to do the inventory that day, but I felt like if I left, the day would have been incomplete.  I found myself scrubbing my station again. It was spotless. I already stayed thirty minutes longer.

By the time I finished, Bella-Donna’s door still hadn’t opened. 

This was getting pathetic. I looked at the clock. 11:14 pm.

“Alright,” I muttered.

Enough.

I pulled on my coat, wrapped my scarf around my neck and put on my beanie. The lights went off one section at a time until only the ones near the back remained.

I grabbed my keys when Bella-Donna’s door opened. There he was.

All that fucking inventory… Worth it.

Then the wind came through the alley. His hair blew across his face, and he lifted one hand to push it back.

My smile faded. What the hell was he wearing? A denim jacket. In December.

He tried to light a cigarette. The lighter clicked while his hands were shaking.

I looked toward the shelf near the back door. We kept a couple of old blankets there for breaks during winter. I grabbed one and threw it over my shoulder.

Now I only had to walk over there. To him. I crossed the alley.

“Hey. Are you not cold out here?” Obviously he was cold. His hands were shaking.

“A bit.” He chuckled.

Fuck. His voice…

“I wanted to smoke one quick, but my lighter is being difficult.”

“Oh, you have a metal rotator one? I hate those.”

Brilliant. Months of occasionally imagining what I might say if I ever spoke to him, and apparently I had chosen lighter criticism.

His long, slim fingers were getting a bit red, especially his thumb from multiple attempts at lighting the cigarette. I wanted to get closer. The light from across the alley came from behind me and fell directly across his face. I wanted to see his face properly. 

“May I come closer to you?”

His eyes lifted to mine. He watched me for a second, not responding.

I realized immediately that may I could mean several things when you were standing in a dark alley approaching a stranger.

“Yes, you may,” he said.

I stepped closer and finally saw him properly. 

Oh, fuck.

The little flashes of metal I had occasionally caught from across the alley belonged to a piercing beneath his lower lip. His eyes were darker than I had thought. There was black around them, slightly smudged near the lashes. The cold had turned the tip of his nose pink. 

And the hair. Up close, there was even more of it. A few strands had blown across his cheek. He pushed them away and looked up at me again.

My eyes could not part. I realized I had been looking too long. Say something. Anything.

“I’m not going to bother you long,” I said. “I just saw you while locking up the place out here, and I knew you must be cold. Here.”

His expression changed just slightly. He reached for the blanket and our hands came close. I was so focused on his face, only his voice brought me back. 

“Thank you,” he said as he wrapped it around himself.

And then I smelled something. Tea. For half a second, I genuinely thought it came from him. But then I smelled the lemon and realized it must have been just tea.

I had spent months looking at this man whenever I happened to catch him through a window, and now that he was standing directly in front of me… His eyes were so beautiful I caught myself staring and looked somewhere past his shoulder. 

“Oh, and here…” I took out my lighter as I remembered his red thumb. “Take this. Have a good one!”

I turned toward the street before I could find another unnecessary reason to stay.

I had spoken to him. Finally.

Months of seeing him pass the kitchen window, and apparently all it had taken was one freezing Thursday, a blanket and a shitty lighter.

He was nice.

That shouldn’t have surprised me after what I had seen of him, but it was different when the smile was directed at me. His voice was softer than I had imagined. And his face—

Yeah.

I was already several streets away from Toscana when I started thinking about what I might say the next time I saw him.

Maybe ask how his shift was. Ask if the blanket helped. I could offer him a cigarette.

Maybe— Wait.

I didn’t know his name. Fuck. I hadn’t told him mine either.

How the hell had I forgotten the one thing I had wanted to know for months?

We stood there talking. I had given him a blanket. I had given him my lighter. I had apparently found enough words to criticize the engineering of his, but “Hi, I’m Geonsu” had somehow escaped me.

I started walking again, considerably less triumphant than before.

It was fine. We worked next to each other. I would see him again. I could introduce myself then. Like a normal person the next day.

“Geonsu! Delivery screwed up. We only have half the order of veal.” Cony approached, looking anxious. “Do we pull the special?” she asked. “It’s your call.” 

I looked toward the prep we had already done. I really didn’t want to. Everyone had put work into getting it ready, and there was nothing wrong with the special.

“Tony might have enough. But I need to go get it now, he closes soon.” I was already moving to grab my jacket. “I’ll go pick it up. Marco, you are in charge!” I exclaimed. 

By the time I left with enough to cover the missing delivery, I was watching the time more than the pavement. Saturdays could turn without warning, and I had already been gone longer than I wanted. 

I was almost back at Toscana when somebody ahead of me turned into the alley. I recognized the hair first.

I smiled before I could help it. I hadn’t seen him since Thursday. He was several meters ahead of me, walking toward Bella-Donna. For a second, I considered calling out to him.

Then his head turned slightly. He looked back. I thought he recognized me, but instead his pace quickened. Maybe he was late.

We continued in the same direction for another few seconds. Then he looked back again. This time there was no mistaking it. He started walking faster.

Much faster. I stopped smiling. Was he trying to get away from me? Before I could decide whether I was imagining things, he disappeared around the corner toward Bella-Donna.

I kept walking. Well. That was strange. I shifted the veal higher in my arms and went inside Toscana.

I washed my hands and put the jacket back on. The next hour passed quickly. Veal. Pasta. Risotto. More veal. I reached for the salt and dropped the pinch in the risotto. After I plated everything, I put the spoon in my mouth and had a visceral reaction. I must have already seasoned the plate, because it was so salty, I needed water. 

“Ah! Shit.”

“What?” Marco asked.

I frowned and pushed the pan away from the fire. I stared at the ruined risotto. I don’t make mistakes like that. 

“Take over for me. I need ten minutes.” 

Marco looked at me. “What? Seriously? Now?” he asked, holding the shrimp pan away from the fire while talking to me. At least one of us tried not to mess up the food.

“Yeah, take over..”

“Okay. Guys, hold back the chicken for table twelve. I need…”

I stepped away. I went into the restroom to wash my face and cool down. Marco seemed to manage the kitchen well enough for me to stay away longer.

I walked out of the restroom and headed towards the door, wanting to get some fresh air as well, when Chris called out to me. 

“Geonsu!” He smiled. “Did you take a blanket from the front?”

We had so many I didn’t think it would be noticeable one went missing. And I didn’t think it would be such a big deal. 

“Yeah. Why? It’s not missing. I know where it is…” I couldn’t finish talking because Chris pulled a blanket from one of the chairs in the back. “Yeah, I took one of these. What about it?” 

“This is the one you took.” He smiled at me.

“What?” I genuinely didn’t understand.

“ Coffee Guy brought it back just two or three minutes ago.”

“He was here?!”

“Haha! Yeah, man. He just walked out… Hey!”

I pushed the door open and went outside. I saw him standing there, smoking. I could only see him in profile. I wanted to call out to him, but I stopped. I didn’t know what to do.

“Oh, no wonder I didn’t see you back there. How are you doing today?” It was Ray.

“Ray, I cannot talk right—” 

“Huh? Marco is in charge back there. Haha! I thought something was not right, so I came searching for you. Huh, I almost thought he was wearing something sensible today,” Ray mumbled. 

“What?”

“Look at that… I mean, look at him.” 

As I wanted to take a step forward, he stubbed out his cigarette and went inside. I wasted time. 

“What? I think he is a server, like you.”

Ray’s face was contorted and now he spoke more clearly.

“Huh? Don’t compare us,” Ray chuckled. “Have you ever seen me wear stuff like that?” 

“No, you’re just looking at the wrong thing,” I sighed, already annoyed. “Besides, have you never flirted with customers for more tips?” 

I wanted to go back inside immediately, already tired of the conversation. I turned toward the kitchen.

“What? Where are you going?” Ray asked.

“I think they need me inside. You can stay longer though.”

I walked back inside and picked up the blanket. Well. What was I supposed to do with this now? He had brought it back. I folded it and returned it to the others before going back to my station. I managed not to oversalt anything else.

By ten, I was ready to leave. Nari had organized a small get-together for her birthday, and for once I had an excuse to abandon everyone else to closing.

“Thank you,” I said, pulling on my jacket. “And don’t leave my station looking like shit.”

Marco looked offended. “Just go and shut up.”

I laughed and did.

Nari had invited Romina, whom I had only met briefly once before, and somebody Romina knew. That was about as much information as I had gotten out of her. Nari wasn’t shy, but she kept her circle small. I was glad she was doing something for herself.

I closed the door behind me and started toward the bar.

I hadn’t even made it out of the alley when I saw somebody standing farther ahead, looking down at his phone.

Coffee Guy. Again.

After the way he hurried away from me earlier, I wasn’t particularly eager to repeat the experience. He was standing almost directly in my path, though, and stopping in the middle of a dark alley until he left seemed considerably worse than simply walking past him.

So I kept going. I put my hands into my pockets and gave him plenty of room. Maybe he would recognize me this time.

The closer I got, the less likely that seemed. He was still looking at his phone. Then he looked up.

His eyes landed on me. He stepped backward. I stopped, but he ran away. I stood there watching him disappear around the corner.

What the fuck?

For a few seconds, I genuinely didn’t know what to do with myself. Once was easy enough to explain. Maybe he had been late. Maybe I had imagined him speeding up earlier.

Twice was harder. Apparently he was afraid of me. That realization sat badly.

Thursday hadn’t felt like that. He had let me approach him. He had taken the blanket and my lighter. He had smiled at me. 

Then today he returned the blanket and ran away from me twice. I rubbed a hand over my face.

Alright. Whatever I had misunderstood, I wasn’t going to make it worse by chasing after him and demanding an explanation.

I continued toward the bar. Hopefully Nari had ordered beer. I could use one.

I spotted her almost immediately when I walked inside. Romina was sitting with her, and Nari’s face brightened when she saw me.

I smiled and started toward them. There was somebody else at the table. Long black hair fell down the back of his chair.

I slowed. No. There was absolutely no fucking way.

“Geonsu!” Nari stood to hug me.

“Happy birthday or whatever, sis!”

I hugged her and tried not to stare over her shoulder. I greeted Romina next. By then, I had run out of people to look at.

I turned toward the third person. Coffee Guy looked back at me. It was him.

Something warm spread beneath my jacket. I had spent half the day wondering why this man kept running away from me, and now he was here. At my sister’s birthday. 

Close enough that I could finally see him properly without a dark alley or a kitchen window between us. His eyebrows were even darker than I remembered, and his gaze felt heavier now that it settled directly on mine. 

Fuck. I smiled before I could stop myself and looked down at my hand as I introduced myself. I couldn’t keep staring at him like that. 

“Kento.” He took my hand and smiled back. “Nice to meet you.”