“Oh, and I want to apologize.”

His smile turned into a confused look. He was staring into my soul. I added more details.

“I think I scared you today in the alley between Bella-Donna and Toscana, right?”

“That was you?! How did you recognize me? It was pitch black there.”

He smiled again after I jogged his memory. I realized that he might not have recognized me either time I scared him, nor that night when I gave him the blanket.

“I don’t know, I think your hair…”

“What? What happened?” Nari asked.

I had to explain what happened, not only because I was asked to, but because I wanted to let him know I was not a creep following him around. Just then, my sister reinforced the idea that I indeed looked dangerous. I hoped he understood her humor, but she wasn’t helping right now. He looked me in the eyes and wore an apologetic smile, grabbing his arm and rubbing it.

“Man, I was pretty scared. Can I be honest? I didn’t even see who it was. I just saw the build of the person and was too afraid to glance back fully, I just sped up and slammed the door behind after I stormed into the club.”

I felt relieved and disappointed. I felt better that it wasn’t me personally who scared him, as he seemed receptive to my personality. However, before today, even when I gifted him the blanket, I was still a stranger to him. I was one time the stranger that gave him the blanket and the other time the stranger that scared him. I remembered that I scared him twice today, so I took the initiative to get that situation off my chest as well. I really hoped my sister would not make another remark about my build, but instead I couldn’t believe my ears when he responded.

“Walk past me? You think you can squeeze past me in that tiny alley? I bet you walk in through doors sideways and you wanna squeeze past?”

He even leaned in and smirked at me, then glanced at my sister and started laughing with them and then back at me. I got slightly embarrassed that he saw me as a wide guy but more than that, I had to look down. I had to because when he looked back at me, his eye contact was too intense for me.

He was making small talk with Nari, getting to know one another better. I now knew his main job site, the university he went to, some childhood stories, favorite shows… He really seemed involved in any conversation that was held. If Nari showed interest in something, he would nudge her to tell him more. I never thought he would be this talkative. He would direct some questions to me indirectly, inviting me to join the subjects, but my mind drew blanks. I would answer shortly most times; I liked hearing him talk. He was nicer than I thought, given his intimidating outfits and the way he walked into work, you would think he would be ice cold.

I remembered Ray criticizing his outfit. I sneaked glances at him, my eyes glued to his face each time I tried to look at his clothes. I looked at his jewelry first. He seemed to love silver. His arms were free up to his shoulders. He was fit, his shoulders round. His top had a diamond cut that was showing off the middle of his chest. The top was simple, plain black. It looked very interesting. I must have been too observed trying to appreciate his fashion sense, because I was brought back to reality by hearing my name. My sister called my name and then continued to talk.

“And if it were not for my brother, I would not have been able to study and become a nurse.”

I glanced at Kento but looked away immediately. He was looking straight into my eyes. I had to deflect the attention on my sister; I could not deal with this.

“What are you doing? It’s your birthday, stop. And you would have studied anyhow; dad would have made it work… are you crying?”

She indeed started to cry. I wanted him to stop looking at me, but now I felt bad for getting happy it happened at the expense of my sister’s tears. I had to suppress my chuckle, comforting her like I used to do when we were kids. Comforting is too strong of a word, but this always worked.

“You don’t have to apologize, unless it was something we had no right to know, I don’t mind listening to you or comforting you.”

She seemed to calm down and built a connection to Kento. I knew he would say something after seeing her cry, because I remembered how he comforted his coworker. I wanted to make sure everybody understood that I didn’t sacrifice myself for the sake of my sister. I was never smart enough for school, that was one of the reasons I dropped out in the first place.

“I think she feels bad for being the only one who went to uni. But I didn’t have the capacity to get into or finish uni anyway, so I don’t know why she keeps on bothering me with this.”

“What did you do after high school?” Kento was now turned fully to me, face, body and gaze. I answered shortly, even though I hoped he would keep asking me questions like he did to Nari.

“And how old are you now?”

“I’m 32.” I answered. Only after I said it out loud, I realized I was 9 years older than Kento, yet he seemed even more mature than me when I thought about how he reacted to Nari’s crying.

 “Oh, you look older though.” Romina didn’t waste a second to snap.

I never saw that as an issue, so I laughed it off. Kento didn’t seem surprised that his friend would be so direct but also didn’t seem to negate her observation. He laughed along. I wanted to know if I looked old to him as well.

The cake arrived and now the conversation died down. Nari and Romina seemed to have other plans just the two of them, because they excused themselves.

“Thank you for picking up the tab, brother!” Oh, yeah. She’s still my little sister. As I took my card out, she snatched it and ran away saying. “And thank you for your credit card!”

“Oh, that’s a nice birthday present.” Kento said while smiling and watching them leave hand in hand.

“I didn’t tell her I’d pay though… or gave her permission to take my card.” I was dumbfounded, because she hadn’t done something like this in a while. I would have paid anyway, but now she took my card. What if he wanted to order more? Do I have enough on me? He laughed instead and offered to pay or at least split it. I paid myself. I didn’t want to make him feel indebted, but if he did, he could buy the beers next time. So much I even told him.

I saw him leave for the restroom. I didn’t know if our time together ended or was coming to an end, so I waited for him outside the restroom. If he didn’t want to go to a second location, I wanted to at least say goodbye. As I was questioning whether I should ask him for his number to keep in touch, seeing we got along well and worked next to each other, I heard a door slam. I looked up and saw Kento exit the restroom. I didn’t know why he slammed the door; he looked fine. But then he looked at me. In that moment, his eyes got big and his lower lip opened slightly. He looked anxious.

“What’s wrong?” was the only thing I managed to ask him. I instinctively felt unwell as well.

Someone came out of the restroom, trying to catch up to Kento, screaming behind him. I didn’t even get the chance to hear what he was screaming about because I stepped between them in an instant. As I stepped up, Kento stood still and was now behind me, but before I passed him, I sensed a pungent and disgusting smell. Did this fucker just expose him to his pheromones? Even if you cannot take medication or have an issue with regulating yourself, it’s your responsibility to step away and cause no harm. I was so angry I don’t even remember if I said anything.

Until police arrived, I kept the guy in place. I could not speak to Kento, as he was talking to who seemed to be the manager, but at least I shielded him from the people trying to pry into his business and the aggressor. We stepped outside and the police took our personal information. He did look anxious to me, but more than that he looked tired but not too shaken up. Was this not the first time he experienced this? The police took off and didn’t even offer him medial help. Useless fuckers.

“Are you feeling better? Need any medication or go sit down somewhere?” I didn’t know exactly what he needed, so I wanted to ask him.

What he himself needed specifically, because I was not ignorant. He must want to get rid of the smell and take some calmers. I stepped back. I could feel my previous anger turn into a different sensation inside my brain and I started to emanate pheromones. Why? My suppressants were supposed to hold longer…

“I want to shower. Clean myself up… …”

I could hardly hear the rest. I tried to keep my cool to put him at ease. After he told me he lived in Washington Heights, I could not stop myself thinking about his state and how even sending him alone in a taxi was not a good option. What if the driver was an Alpha? Then what? What if he passed out before he got home?

“Would you feel comfortable coming over at my place? I live in East Village, it’s closer. Would you feel comfortable going to my place to shower?” was the only thing I could offer him. I hoped it was enough. He agreed to come to my place, so I called a taxi. I knew he was going to be safer with me. When we get to my place, I need to give him the new towels, shampoo… Does he need new underwear? I don’t want to ask him, he might feel embarrassed.

“Are you an Alpha?”

I’m such an idiot! Why did I assume he knew I was an Alpha? He couldn’t sense me because of the suppressants. He just got assaulted and I didn’t mention to him I am an Alpha? I could only be honest and make sure he didn’t feel unsafe. I couldn’t even look him in the eyes. I was so ashamed.

“Yes. Are you afraid?”

“Dominant?”

I fucked up big time. He must feel like I am taking advantage of him. I had to take back my offer to go to my place…

“Yes, dominant… Listen, Kento. I am so sorry. I should have told you beforehand.”

How could I even explain myself to him? Say what? Trying to convince him is going to make me look like an insane pervert. The image from before of Kento turning the corner to avoid me hit me like a brick. Did he feel disgusted with me? Would he start avoiding me again?

“No need to apologize. I am asking because I am also dominant. If we are going to your place and sitting in the taxi, you might have a hard time being next to me. You are already leaking. Are you okay?”

He’s asking me if I am okay? Wait, we are going to be sitting next to each other in the car?

“Wait, you still want to go to my place?”

“Yes. Is the offer not on the table anymore? I don’t want to impose on you.”

“No! No! You are invited. And don’t worry, I’ll buy inhibitors. I promise.”

The taxi was so quiet, I was afraid to even swallow. Kento sat beside me, his head resting against the window. He looked exhausted. The sourness of his scent still lingered in the air between us, making my chest tighten with guilt and worry. I focused on breathing evenly. The suppressants had started wearing off an hour ago. Usually that wasn't a problem, but tonight every time I glanced at Kento, I could feel them pressing against the back of my throat. I turned my face towards the window. Not now. The last thing he needed was an Alpha filling the taxi with pheromones after what happened. A faint trace escaped anyway. I couldn’t calm myself down. If I didn’t start releasing them slowly at least, I was afraid I would pump them out too fast and cause him harm. How the fuck could I even dare ask him to release them now?! But I had to.

“Kento… Can I release some? I don’t want to affect you even more than what you have already been through.”

“Yes. It might be better, because right now I hate the way I smell. Can you cover mine?”

Okay, okay. That I can do. I can control myself well enough for this. A few minutes passed before I heard him move.

“Geonsu? Can you… let out more, please?”

Every instinct told me not to. He had spent the entire evening distressed. The idea of influencing him in any way made me uncomfortable. He looked more relaxed than before so maybe I was indeed helping him? If that was his wish, I didn’t want to make him wait.

“Yes.” I answered.

His scent lingered in the back of the taxi, stronger now than before. It seemed like he was answering to mine. I found myself breathing a little deeper without meaning to. I just sat there wondering why the person I worried most about seemed determined to make things harder for me. The citrus carried a slight bitterness, like fresh orange peel, while something cool and damp softened the edges.

We didn’t speak until we arrived at my building. I opened the main door, and we went up the stairs to my apartment door. I opened the first door just fine, but now the closer we got to my apartment my hand started shaking. I almost didn’t insert the key right in the keyhole. Was my apartment clean? That was not such a big issue. I had to open the windows as soon as possible to let my pheromones out.

While he was taking his shower I headed to the corner store. I picked up some necessities for him and headed to the pharmacy. I had suppressants at home but no rut inhibitors. The chance of me going into rut was low, but I didn’t want to leave it up to chance.

When I came back, he was finished with his shower, so I handed him the stuff I bought. He wanted to change into the bedroom, so I let him in. While he was changing, I tried to come up with a way for him to get safely home. I had to work tomorrow and sleep. I had to ask him if he was comfortable sleeping over. If not, I would drive him home myself.

“Listen, it’s getting very late. I don’t want to send you home alone though. I’m on the edge after what happened. But I also have to go to work in a couple of hours. I can offer you the bedroom to sleep over, and I will sleep on the couch. Would you be comfortable with sleeping over?”

“You can have the bedroom. I don’t mind the couch. It’s your home after all.” He responded.

He might as well mean that, but I don’t want him to sleep in the open. He might feel the need to Silent Vigil and if that is so, he should not be on the couch.

“No, I think you should sleep in the bedroom. You need to rest well and not feel anxious. You will feel more protected sleeping. So, is that a yes?” I was still waiting for an answer to my invite.

“Then, if you insist. I’m not going to turn down the more comfortable room, hahaha!” he smiled and still didn’t answer me. I was not pleased with the way he responded to questions.

“No. I meant, are you okay with sleeping over? You didn’t answer me that.”

“Yes.” He answered, looking at me surprised. Why did he look at me like that?