“You’re just going to leave? At least give me a hug.”

“Oh…”

He stepped closer and wrapped his left arm around my shoulder blades. My arms reached around his mid-back, and I propped my temple on his collar bone. As I moved my head upwards, the tip of my nose touched his neck. I breathed him in, as he released his pheromones. I exhaled rather loudly. I heard him swallow, then he whispered.

“Kento?”

“Hm?” I barely answered.

My heart pounded so fast I was afraid he could feel it. Before he continued his question, he moved his head and lowered it, talking into my ear.

"Can I kiss you?"

I shook my head up and down, confirming, but I knew he wanted to hear it from my lips. Still in the same position, hugging and his temple still resting on my head, I answered.

"Yeah..."

I pulled back just enough for our faces to meet, but he followed immediately, leaving barely any distance between us. He rested his forehead against mine and brushed his nose softly against mine. His left hand slid lower along my back, drawing me closer and his right hand, that had been hanging awkwardly at his side, finally settled against my waist before sliding to my lower back.

He lowered his head slightly. As he lifted it again, searching for my lips, his nose nudged mine upward. Our lower lips brushed. For a brief moment he hesitated, then leaned in further.

He kissed me once, then pulled me closer and kissed me again. The second kiss lasted longer. Our lips opened and closed, wrapping around each other. When I kissed him back, he let out a quiet breath against my lips. He adjusted his head and leaned in again, this time I could feel his tongue on my lower lip, sliding inside. I responded back with my tongue as fast as I could.

His tongue was probing every inch of my mouth, reaching and sliding on the flesh under my tongue and sucking it. His pheromones invaded my blood stream and shook my throat, my hands spasmed and I completely let go of my bag. I reached for him and clammed my hands on his shirt, touching his chest.

I felt like I took an ice cube in my mouth, letting it melt and then swallowing it the way his pheromones were drowning me. Spicy ginger, cold, wet freshly squeezed herbs were mixing with the taste of his saliva. I swallowed him without second thoughts.

His left hand let go of my back moving to the front, reaching my lower ribs. He traced the back of his hand with constant pressure upwards in the middle until he reached my chin, his index finger nudging my Adam's apple and circling it twice. With his hand close to my face, he took the right side of my pace into his palm while his right hand pressed my lower body against his groin.

„Mmm... Aaah..."

A sound escaped me when he let go for a second of my lips. His breathing was hardened and he took a deep breath before lunging back into my mouth. I barely had the time to breathe or swallow; the air escaped my nostrils and warmed his skin.

He lowered his left hand and parted his fingers, moving towards my neck and under my ear. I tried not to flinch, not wanting him to stop and ask what was wrong, but I still hoped he would not reach too far back and feel the scars on my nape. He instead held the side of my neck and squeezed it lightly, then moved his hand deeper and grabbed at the hair behind my ear. Air made its way between the strands and cooled my scalp slightly as his hand was moving in my hair, trying to settle.

Our pheromones were mixing, feeling both at the tip of my tongue, pushing each other as if trying to win. I was feeling lightheaded from the effects of the bond, body fighting an Alpha that should not be permitted. Today however, my mind won. I felt all my inhibitions dissipate as he started to also make sounds while our mouths were sucking at each other.

„Hmm... Nngh..." Geonsu was moaning, his voice echoing in my head.

He was pulling at my back and letting go slightly, so the movement created friction. I was moving my body along his guidance, pressing my groin into him and lightly rubbing him, teasing him and pushing my erection against his upper thigh.

I could feel his erection through his pants, his penis growing more and more since the first time our lips touched. The way I was sliding up and down moved his erection upwards and downwards as much as it could move, getting an idea of the size. I could feel the heat his penis was letting out and even felt it throb, being pressed against my waist, a bit lower.

He pulled my hair slightly harder, making my head move and pulling me back away from him, our lips now apart. Not for long though, since he followed my head as it moved and started to suck at my lips, aiming more for the lower lip and sometimes missing it, landing on my chin.

My penis was letting out some pre-ejaculate, but my slick was wetting my underwear. Since the moment he touched my lower back, my glands were letting more and more out. My hole started to twitch, and I felt like his pheromones were pulling at the skin around it, as if pulling it, stretching it to get a point of entry.

I let go of him for a second and wrapped both of my hands around his neck, supporting myself better, as his vicious and powerful mouth and hands were fully dominating me. I felt like I was being tossed around by waves, the way he would either move his fingers in my hair or his right hand would move around my lower back. He would slow down at times, kissing me slower and his tongue traced mine in its entirety in my mouth, while his right hand lifted and only two fingers would stroke my spine.

His pheromones were now completely emptied onto my body and inside my being. I let them enter, getting goosebumps and feeling my feet melt. He started to get more excited, becoming more daring. If he at first was nibbling at the tip of my tongue or lightly scraping his teeth on my lips when we broke apart for air, now he was biting the middle of my tongue and my lower lip, pulling at it while making a „mmm" sound, devouring me. Hearing him make sounds pleased me so much, my hole started to clench. I could feel the entry get softer and softer, ready for penetration.

As good as his kissing was and noticing my body did not react negatively, the thought of penetration I had on a whim while we were so intimately engaged took seed and made me worry. Would that be possible? I seemed to make progress, such close proximity and even kissing being possible, whereas two months ago my body had mixed reactions. However, sex was different. If our relationship progressed, it would be expected, not only by him but also by me. I wanted it. Would that be possible?

Just when it started to feel too much for me to bear, either because of the thoughts that bloomed in my head or because of the kissing, he pulled back and sighed, resting his forehead against mine again and looking into my eyes.

It was the first time he hadn’t broken eye contact, his gaze fixed on mine as we were both catching our breaths, faces flushed and lips glowing in the streetlight from all the licking and saliva. His hand let go of my hair long ago and started to stroke my cheek, but not long after it went to the side, putting the front pieces of my hair behind my ear, repetitively, as if the pieces of hair were stubborn and would not hold the place he assigned them. Still standing in silence, his hands dropped and grabbed mine, pulling them up closer to him and finally resting them slightly under his chest. I could feel his heartbeat indirectly from where he placed my hands. His heart was beating so fast it was pulsing through his whole upper body, making me feel like it traveler through my hands, along my arms and dissolving into me.

We were both calmer now and as if hit with the realization of how animalistic we just kissed so openly in the street, we looked down and chuckled quietly, as if afraid of being caught laughing. Before he let go of my hands and departed, he whispered.

"Good night."

"Mister Becker? Dr. DeMarte will see you now." 

"Thank you."

I knew my way around the office well, but her secretary always accompanied me. I told her a year ago to call me Kento, but she just smiled and continued with "mister Becker". I walked into the room and closed the door behind me. I sat in my usual chair and waited for Teressa to enter. My appointment was spontaneous. I was feeling better these days. Teressa entered after I waited for 3 minutes. 

"Hi, Kento. I was surprised to see the appointment. You usually come only 3 times a month. Let's start somewhere else first. How have your symptoms been?" She smiled warmly at me while sitting down across from me.

"Better. I still have not nested since Christmas day. And compared to last time, I don't get so anxious anymore."

"Better how? You were here... two weeks ago. Describe the changes or why you think it's better."

"My scents are separating. When I release mine, I don't feel his around my neck."

"Good. You mentioned you had mixed reactions to Alpha pheromones; did anything change since then?"

"Umm... Last week, I... Yes, I responded positively."

"So, I assume scent sickness is also less? How is the phantom pain?" she inquired.

"Yes. But phantom pain is still like last time."

"Okay, Kento... What brings you here today, specifically?"

"Can I do it? How?"

"I'm sorry? What is it?" She asked confused.

Two years ago, I was still having panic attacks every week. I couldn't sleep through the night. I couldn't go into heat without ending up in the hospital. Back then, the clinicians talked to me about treatment options and long-term plans. I barely listened. I was busy trying to survive the next day. One of them told me that, if I responded well to therapy, there could be other options later. It was time. My fingers tightened around the armrest.

"How can I break the bond?"

 End of Volume I