The door flew open with such force that the dull thud against the wall made the paintings in the hallway tremble. Lucas was standing in the doorway. His black graduation gown was rumpled, and his tie had slipped askew, as if someone had tried to rip it off. But the most terrifying thing of all was his eyes: they revealed a wild, uncontrollable mixture of panic, betrayal, and rage.
Adrian froze in the middle of the room, clutching a half-empty bottle of expensive wine in his hand.

The glass was cold, but his palms were burning from the inside.

"Go away," Adrian's voice sounded hollow, devoid of his usual sarcasm. He was exhausted to the point of madness. "I have nothing to say to you. And you have no business being here."

"Are you kidding?" Lucas stepped inside, his shoulder bumping against the doorframe with a dull thud. He slammed the door shut behind him, cutting off any retreat. "You just quit? I couldn't believe it at first. I ran all over the damn department looking for even one of your things, I…"

"I'm asking you to leave," Adrian interrupted, without looking at the guy. Slowly, as if every centimeter of movement were a struggle, he walked to the window and pulled back the blinds, letting the dim light from a streetlamp flood the room. "Look at me, Lucas. Carefully."

He turned around, and the light illuminated his face: sunken cheeks, red sclera, and stubble that made him look emaciated.

"I'm twenty-eight," Adrian continued, his voice betraying him as it cracked into a hoarse whisper. "I don't have a job. I don't have a reputation. I've got a bunch of problems I can't solve, and a car loan. I can't think straight. I can't think about the future. And I certainly can't explain anything to you. Leave me alone. Please."

"You cowardly bastard," Lucas hissed. His chest heaved heavily. His voice, which a second ago had been on the verge of a scream, suddenly cracked, turning into a faltering, pained whisper. "You're just scared. You always do this. As soon as things get tough, you run away."

"And you?"

"What about me? I'm right here in front of you!"

Adrian was silent. His jaw clenched so tightly that the muscles in his cheekbones bulged. Slowly, he pulled a crumpled pack of cigarettes from his pants pocket. His fingers trembled slightly as he tried to pull one out.

Lucas noticed the tremor. His rage wavered for a moment, giving way to unease, but he immediately suppressed it, taking another step forward.

"You can't even smoke in peace," Lucas said with a bitter smile. "How pathetic you are. The very same infallible Mr. Wayne who lectured us in our freshman year about moral duty and fortitude. And in reality, you just crumbled at the first sign of a threat."

The match struck, briefly revealing Adrian's contorted face. He took a deep drag, blowing the smoke to the side, away from Lucas.

"Do you think this is a game?" Adrian asked quietly. "Do you think I woke up that morning and decided: 'Hey, let me ruin the career I've been building for ten years, just for fun'?

"Then what for?!" Lucas exploded, his hands shooting forward to grab Adrian by the lapels of his shirt. He shook him, forcing him to look him in the eye. "For him? For Noah? I saw you leave the airport with him! I saw his new watch and that smug smirk at graduation! Did you sell out? For what? For a quiet life? So he wouldn't air our dirty laundry?

"Don't you dare," Adrian's voice turned icy. "Don't you dare talk about him. You don't know anything about what happened."

"Then explain!" Lucas shouted, and the tears he'd been desperately holding back all the way here finally glistened treacherously at the corners of his eyes. "Explain to me how a grown, intelligent man ended up under the thumb of an eighteen-year-old bastard?"

Adrian wrenched himself free from his grip so abruptly that the bottle in his hand wobbled, and a few drops of wine spilled onto the floor. He stepped back toward the wall, as if Lucas's physical proximity were causing him pain.

“You want the truth?” Adrian whispered, his gaze becoming glassy and distant. “Fine. The truth is, you were my biggest, most foolish mistake. If I could turn back time, I would never have allowed myself to have a sexual relationship with my former student.” No! No, even before that! I would have walked right past you in that damn club. You’ve brought nothing but chaos into my life, and I’m not about to foot your bills anymore.

Those words hit Lucas harder than any slap. He turned pale, his hands slowly dropping to his sides.

For a moment, a ringing, unbearable silence hung in the room, broken only by Adrian’s heavy breathing.

But then Lucas slowly raised his head. His eyes were growing wetter and wetter.

“You’re lying,” he said quietly.

He took a step forward, gently knocked the cigarette out of Adrian’s fingers, and dropped it into a nearby glass of coffee that had already gone moldy. Then his hands gently but firmly cupped the professor’s face, forcing him to look at him.

“You can tell yourself that all you want, Adrian,” Lucas whispered, his thumb wiping away a wet trail of wine from the corner of the man’s lips. “You can try to push me away, call me a mistake, kick me out the door. But I know you. And right now, you’re lying. Stop scratching your finger.”

And indeed, all this time, Adrian, holding the wine bottle by its narrow neck, hadn’t stopped rubbing his fingers together. They had turned so red that it seemed blood might spurt out at any moment.
Adrian tried to turn away, but Lucas held him back.

“Let me go,” Adrian exhaled, and there was no force in his demand. “Lucas, please. Go away. Before it’s too late.”

“It’s already too late,” Lucas replied, his forehead brushing against Adrian’s. “I’m not going anywhere. Not until you confirm or deny your relationship with that little minx. Please.”

After a brief silence, Adrian spoke:

“He said he’d tell the university administration about you and me so we’d both get the punishment we deserve.”
“I know that.. I was with you back then,” Lucas interrupted quietly. “But tell me about now. What connects you two now? Please, Adrian, I really need to know this. My chest is bursting with this heat; I can’t stand this uncertainty any longer.”

Those words broke through his last, barely holding defense. Adrian looked at his hand, covered by Lucas’s palm, and felt a hot, salty tear roll treacherously down his cheek. He turned away sharply, staring out the dark window to hide it from him.

“There’s nothing between us,” Adrian whispered, and his voice finally shed the last traces of its forced firmness, revealing an excruciating pain. “He found a way to hit me where it hurts the most. He mentioned my parents by name. He talked about my younger brother, who’s only just gotten back on his feet after a severe drug addiction and rehab and is trying to build his own business. He promised to destroy everything my family has built over the years if I don’t go along with him.” He promised to destroy your family. But I… I asked him to let me go, and after I got on my…

“That’s enough, I get it…”

Those words hit Lucas with such force that he was momentarily speechless. All his rage, which had been building for weeks, flared up instantly. Adrian hadn’t betrayed him. Adrian had sacrificed everything to protect his loved ones, driving himself into a corner.

This bastard made a man ten years his senior crawl on his knees before him?

“I’ll kill him.”

But before that…

Lucas slowly but firmly wrapped his arms around Adrian’s waist, pulling the emaciated body toward him. He could feel the professor’s tense muscles resisting the embrace for just a split second before finally giving in. Adrian exhaled, a long breath that encapsulated all the horror of the past month. He let his head fall heavily onto Lucas’s shoulder.

The young man’s heart felt as if it were about to burst out of his chest.

“You’re a real, stubborn idiot,” Lucas whispered. He buried his fingers in Adrian’s hair, gently massaging his tense scalp. “Did you think I’d let you take all this crap on yourself? Did you think I wanted that kind of sacrifice?”

Adrian remained silent, only clutching the fabric of Lucas’s shirt convulsively with his fingers, clinging to him as if he were his only anchor in a raging sea. His shoulders trembled slightly, betraying quiet sobs.

“We’ll get through this,” Lucas said firmly, kissing Adrian on the temple, right where a tense vein was throbbing. “I won’t let that bastard ruin anyone’s life. Not mine, not yours, not your family’s. We’ll make it through. Together.”

Silence hung in the room.

For some reason, Lucas’s words brought Adrian back to his senses. He gathered all his remaining strength and pulled away from the guy. Setting the bottle on the table, he sat back down on the couch. His back straightened, his shoulders tensed, and his gaze, which just a second ago had been full of pain, was once again shrouded in an impenetrable veil of weary cynicism.

“What ‘together’ are you talking about?” Adrian’s voice sounded as even as ever. “Didn’t I tell you that I don’t want a relationship? Not with you, not with anyone else.”

Lucas froze. His hand, which had just been gently running through the professor’s hair, fell limply at his side. Disappointment slowly crept across his face. He looked at Adrian, trying to find in his features even a hint of the vulnerability he’d seen just a minute ago. But sitting before him was Professor Wayne.

“Do you really think so?”

“We both know perfectly well how this will end. Neither of us is capable of being faithful, Lucas. We’ll just destroy what little is left of what we once had. We should each hold on to at least a grain of positive memories of one another.”

Those words were really supposed to put an end to it. They were supposed to make Lucas turn around and walk away, preserving the last shreds of his dignity.

But instead, something inside him snapped for good. The thin thread of self-control snapped with a deafening internal crack.

“What the hell are you talking about, positive memories?!” Lucas yelled.

He lunged forward, closing the distance in a split second, and his hands convulsively clamped onto Adrian’s shoulders, forcing him to finally look him in the eye. In Lucas’s dark, dilated pupils, the familiar mocking mask was gone.

“Do you think I’ve been running after you all this time, putting up with your insults calling me a ‘little boy,’ giving you stupid toys, and going crazy with jealousy, just because I had nothing better to do?! I don’t care about anyone else! I don’t care about all these people I can’t even remember! I only need you! I like you, do you hear me?! I like you! And I hate myself for it, but I can’t just turn it off like you’re telling me to!"

Fuck, do I really love this man?