Felix goes through the next few days almost in a daze. Most of his life had been structured conversations and expected answers and today was no different. No space for him to think for himself. No room for curiosity that didn’t already have a purpose.

Felix glanced down at his phone under the table during another meeting, the glow of the screen hidden between his hands. For a second, he let himself imagine it: one message, unread, waiting for him. Something simple. Something that proved the other night had actually happened and wasn’t just another moment his mind had exaggerated.

Nothing.

He let out a quiet breath and locked the screen again.

Across the table, voices blended together; numbers, projections, percentages, profit margins stacking higher and higher like they meant something tangible. His father’s world. A language Felix had been taught to speak but never fully understood. Everyone sounded certain. Certain about growth, about control, about expansion. Felix just felt tired.

He pressed his hand against his temple, propping his head up slightly, trying not to let his eyes close. The room was too bright, too polished, too structured. He felt so closed in and claustrophobic every time he went into another room with a long table and a projector with numbers he couldn’t even begin to process. Everything in it felt like it had already been decided long before he entered it. Felix often felt like a caged animal at a zoo. Trapped and contained by his family, dancing and entertaining when they say to, going through the same thing every day and every night. It was maddening. 

For  the first time, Felix was thinking during one of these meetings, but not about the quotas or the statistics that were being thrown at him in perfect condensed folders. 

He was thinking about a stranger behind a bar counter and how easily that stranger had started to feel like the only thing in his life that wasn’t planned.  A few hours of being at a bar and having a light conversation and now Felix is constantly thinking about when he can see the man. As much as he was nervous because of his inexperience with talking to normal people, a bigger part of him was excited. The thought of his next move made him almost giddy as the man in front of him droned on about the monthly numbers. Felix had set his mind on it. During their break, he will text Hyunjin. Felix just has to survive the meeting first.

Hyunjin’s days settled into a rhythm that didn’t ask much of him. Mornings came late, usually after too little sleep and too many hours of thinking in silence. The bar took most of his attention in the evenings. It was easier that way; people came in, talked too much or too little, left behind pieces of themselves they didn’t notice dropping. Hyunjin had gotten good at noticing things other people didn’t bother to see.

Not in a special way. Just in a practiced one.

Between shifts, there were meetings he never described in detail. Not because they were secret, but because they didn’t really feel like things that translated into normal conversation. Names, numbers, plans that always seemed to shift slightly depending on who was speaking.

He showed up. He listened. He left when it was over. It wasn’t complicated. 

The rest of his time was quiet. Too quiet sometimes. His apartment stayed clean in a way that felt more maintained than lived in. Clothes folded out of habit rather than necessity. Dishes were done immediately, even when there weren’t many. Everything had its place and nothing really strayed from its designated place. He wasn’t a control freak, but he enjoyed knowing that he had control over his space. Because his life has so much uncertainty, it’s nice to have a bit of control in his own way. He knew being in this life meant some sort of uncertainty and unpredictability. He basically grew up in it. 

He told himself he liked it that way.

On the counter, his phone would light up occasionally; messages from people who expected quick answers, short confirmations, things that didn’t require thought. He replied when it was necessary, ignored them when it wasn’t.

Nothing lingered for long.

Except the memory of conversation he hadn’t expected to care about.

The handsome blonde.

Hyunjin didn’t think about him constantly. It wasn’t that intense.

It was just that, sometimes, in between everything else, he would catch himself remembering the way Felix looked when he wasn’t trying to be anything in particular. Felix had this sort of innocent energy with an edge; Hyunjin had never met someone like him before. Yes he’s met many people that have their own stories, struggles, and strife. Yet something about Felix made Hyunjin want more.

Hyunjin opened their chat once without meaning to.

Still nothing.

He didn’t expect anything.

Still, he left it open for a few seconds longer than necessary before setting the phone down again and turning his attention to the rest of his evening as he got ready for another night shift at the bar.

After what feels like an eternity, Felix’s meeting ends and they all go on their breaks. Felix all but sprints out the door, adrenaline coursing through his veins as he slides into the driver's seat and opens the text thread. He thinks for a moment. He doesn’t want to come off too clingy or weird, they barely knew each other after all, but he wanted to have a conversation and possibly see Hyunjin again. Just the thought of that sent a tingling sensation through his body. He looks at this phone and types something simple and easy. Something to leave open for a conversation, or at least he hopes.

Felix-blondie

Hey uhhh it’s Felix the guy from the bar the other nite 👋

Hyunjin glances down and sees his phone light up, thinking that it’s another client wanting confirmation on something. He goes absolutely rigid when he sees the name on his phone. 

Felix.

Felix messaged him. And out of nowhere! Maybe the blonde was more confident than even he knew. Hyunjin thinks about what to say.

Hyunjin-cute bartender 

Hey sunshine

Felix-blondie 

I hope this isn’t weirdo behavior me texting ya outta the blue. 

Hyunjin-cute bartender 

Not at all blondie, what’s up?

Felix starts typing a response…and then deletes it, telling himself it sounds creepy. He tries again and it sounded worse than the last one. Finally he settles for this.

Felix-blondie

I just wanted to say thank you…for the other night 

Hyunjin-cute bartender 

It was no problem at all honestly that guy deserved to get knocked down a peg or two

Felix-blondie 

Soooo I was thinking….

Felix isn’t sure what he’s thinking honestly. He knows he wants to see Hyunjin again, but he doesn’t want to sound like a desperate man. He starts to slightly spiral as he thinks about different scenarios but he shuts them all down. He doesn’t know much about Hyunjin, but he wants to believe that he wouldn’t be mean to him. Even if he didn’t want to meet Felix, he was proud of himself for taking the first step and maybe this could be a friendship if it didn’t work out. Before he could go deeper into his thoughts Felix phone lit up.

Hyunjin-cute bartender 

Oh boy that sounds almost threatening 😂

Felix-blondie 

Noooooo nothing like that I promise 🫡actually I was wondering if I could take you out to dinner? 

Hyunjin stares at his phone for a couple minutes as he lets this sink in. Felix wants to take him out. Is this a date? Hyunjin hopes so, but he doesn’t want to seem too desperate; despite his confidence, he hasn’t done much dating before. His hands shake slightly as he replies.

Hyunjin-cute bartender 

Sure sunshine that sounds like fun when are you free?

Felix all but jumps around inside his car. Hyunjin wants to go out with him! He initiated the conversation and it paid off! He can’t contain the pure joy and excitement that is leaking from his pores as he responds to Hyunjin before going back into his boring, prepared and predictable life.

Felix-blondie

Awesome! I can’t wait! I have to be in meetings the rest of the day but I’ll message you the details! See you soon Hyunjin 😊

And with that, Felix steps out and heads back into the building, a plan forming in his mind while thinking  how freeing it is keeping secrets from his family.