He only needed to knock once before the door swung open. Lucius entered without hesitation, scanning the room almost frantically. Ian wasn't around it looked like. And the girls were probably still sleeping in their own room.

He finally looked Gior in the eyes, his own wide and heavy.

Gior was staring at him warily. Waiting for the dam to break, and how Lucius wished he could prove him wrong. Tell him that nothing had happened and nothing was wrong and everything was still perfectly normal between him and Corbin. 

He didn't even have to say anything. Gior apparently found the truth on his face.

He pulled him into a hug, holding him tightly. 

"You okay?" he asked, and Lucius nodded even though he didn't really feel that way. Corbin still had his heart, and he was gone. It was physically temporary, but emotionally he might have truly lost him forever. His chest was empty and everything felt wrong. "Where's Corby?"

"Out for a walk," Lucius muttered. "I fucked up."

"It's fine," Gior said. He held him tighter. "You'll both be fine. Just give it a week."

"Okay," he said, desperately wanting to believe that.

"We can stay as late as late afternoon," Gior said. "But we can leave earlier if you want. Is that what you want?"

"Yeah," Lucius nodded immediately. "Let's go home."

"Alright. Gather your stuff. I'll let the girls know."

It was a quick affair. The second Corbin got back, he took one glance at the group of them and just knew. Gathered his own things and met them at the hotel lobby. Lucius packed their things into Gior's car. Even with the sun peaking out behind drifting clouds, it was colder than it'd been in weeks.

Winter was around the corner. It would bring a devastating chill. Even a ways off, Lucius could see it. It would be the kind of cold you could burn in. Snow perfect to burrow in. Perfect to die in.

Lucius shook the thought away. It was a dreary morning. Murky and gray. Just on the outskirts of what had been vibrant and fun. It could have been a dream. All of it, and that would be fine.

It would have been a good dream. It'd have its ups and downs, but what didn't? Perfection was an untouchable thing. Why should he waste time reaching for it? Why guarantee the disappointment that'd come when he inevitably failed?

"Lucius."

He jumped, spinning around. Elena approached him with arms crossed over her chest, frowning.

"What happened?" she asked.

"Nothing," he lied.

Her eyebrow twitched. "Really? That's the kind of disrespectful lie you'd tell a friend? Is it only Corbin you show your best to?"

Lucius flinched. She was angry, that much was obvious. To be lied to? No, that couldn't be all it was. She'd been clearly upset before he'd even said anything. To have to leave a little earlier than planned, then?

"Why would you say something like that?" Lucius asked, voice quiet. He'd really lost all of his energy. He couldn't get truly worked up if he wanted to. "Do you really think that?"

Elena tilted her chin back, glaring up at the sky. "No. Of course not. It's just... always something with you guys, you know?"

Lucius eyes began to burn. He put his head in his hands. "We're fine, Ellie."

"Is he okay?" she asked. "Are you? What happened, Lucius?"

"It was just a weird night. That's all."

"You didn't sleep with him, did you?"

Lucius didn't justify that with an answer. 

"Ordinarily it'd be fine," Elena said, lowering her voice. "I just don't think now was a good time. Corbin can be... I don't think he was fully back yet, you know? And you deserve something better, too. Something less complicated."

"It happened already," Lucius said, voice muffled by his palms. "I don't see the point in talking about it. We were drunk. It's fine."

Elena grabbed either of his wrists, snatching his hands back. He stared at her through the blur, the twist in her expression. The way she was worrying her lip with her teeth. She'd break skin, that way. It would bleed and every time she smiled, it would sting. 

"Lucy, baby," she cooed. Her lips tilted up just the tiniest bit. "Don't be so sad. It's not that big of a deal. I just wanted to know."

"What's the worst that happens now?" Lucius asked her because he was having a hard time fathoming that, himself. Corbin claimed to have forgotten the worst of last night, but what if the memories returned to him? What if they came back before he could figure out how to save them?

What if he hadn't forgotten at all? What if, for the thousandth time, he was lying?

No. He'd forgotten. There was no other alternative. The morning would have gone very differently, otherwise. Much, much worse.

"I don't know if its as much of a big deal as you all seem to think."

"'You all'?"

"Gior didn't actually say but... you know." Elena shrugged. "We're not stupid. If I'm being honest, we all kinda talked about it. Juliet, Ian, Gior, and I. About if this would finally be the night. Gior said you two were very handsy in the club so I figured there was only one way that was gonna go, really."

"What did Ian say about it?"

"Well. He didn't think it'd go that far. Juliet didn't either."

"And you don't think it's a big deal?"

"Worst case scenario, Corbin needs a week or two to fully process it," she said. "He might be weird for those weeks, but then he'll resettle. Like he always does. And he'll get all sweet again and you'll go all weak like you always do and then you'll do something to make it... real. Like what'd you said in the car. And Corbin will let you because, ignoring that man's many many problems, he very clearly loves you."

There was a quiet fluttering in his stomach. Hope crept up like the sneaky bastard it always was. "You really think so?"

Elena nodded. "I do. Wouldn't say so otherwise."

"What did Gior think, then?"

"Who cares?" Elena laughed, punching him playfully in the chest. "He worries too much. He thought you and I would get into all kinds of bullshit trouble last night that didn't happen, so what does he know?"

"I appreciate you, you know?" It needed to be said. "All of you. I don't want you to think that Corbin is all that matters to me. Or that I care how he feels more than all of you. He's just..."

He trailed off, trying to find the right word. Elena nodded, grinning. 

"Unique," she finished for him. "A special case. I know, Lucius. I get it."

"Good."

She glanced over his shoulder and her grin vanished. "Speak of the devil. Hey, Corby! We haven't talked today, have we?"

Lucius didn't even turn. Just looking at him would be a lot right now.

"Hey," Corbin said. He sounded like his average if still tired. Low and just a step above monotone. "Morning. Good time last night?"

"Fuck yeah," Elena said, deceptively chipper for all of the tension Lucius could see in her shoulders. "Here for Lucy?"

"Yeah. Just need a few minutes."

A few minutes could feel like hours. That could be very positive or very bad. Lucius ducked his head, rubbing at his forehead as he stared at the ground. He imagined sinking into it. Becoming and feeling nothing. 

"Alright," Elena said. She pat him on the shoulder as she passed him by. 

Then it was just the two of them. Not fully alone— not really. He didn't look, but he could tell they were being watched. From a fair distance, but he imagined they were still being watched closely. Like watching a bomb tick slowly down.

Corbin stepped around him. Lucius watched his shoes stop in front of his own. 

"Lucius," he said. He still didn't look up, but that was fine. A second later, Corbin held something out in his field a vision and his eyes widened.

A flower. A sunflower, to be exact. Lucius's gaze shot up immediately.

"There," Corbin whispered, and then their lips were pressed together. It was brief. So soft and so innocent. Like the first time, except they had more experience now. They knew how each other's lips felt. They knew how to make them fit so perfectly together. Corbin pulled back first, laying their foreheads together. "I saw it when I was walking. Growing out of a crack in the ground. It reminded me of you. So damn stubborn and so damn bright."

Lucius closed his eyes, sucking in a shaky breath. "You're giving it to me?"

"Obviously."

"Why?"

"You had a good time, didn't you?" Corbin asked. His hand had come up to hold him at his nape. "Last night— this entire trip— will be a good memory, right? Even if it wasn't all... good. Even if I—"

He cut himself off. He didn't continue.

"What wasn't good? Even if you what, Corbin?"

If you asked Lucius, everything had been great up until the very very end. What else could Corbin possibly be talking about? What was he missing?

"You were right," Corbin said. "I know I can be difficult—"

He cut himself off again.  

"Is this an apology?" Lucius asked. "What are you apologizing for?"

"You didn't answer my question," Corbin breathed out. He stepped away, looking at him more fully this way. "Years from now, will this trip be a fond memory?"

His lashes were gathering tears, clumping together. It felt as if his throat was closing up. He barely found the voice to ask, a stupid smile growing on his face, "why wouldn't it be? That was one of the best nights of my life."

He realized only as he said it aloud how true it was. The good and the bad. It all involved Corbin, and every moment spent with him was miraculous. It was such a wondrous thing they'd ever met at all.

Corbin could've been anywhere in the world last night, but he was with him. He could have kissed anyone, but he kissed him. He could have taken anyone to bed, but he'd chosen him. His presence, his affection, his passion— the hate and love alike— were such nebulous things. They were so rarely given. 

"I didn't ruin it?" Corbin asked, voice weak. He was still holding the sunflower, clenching tightly at the stem. 

Lucius practically fell forward to kiss him again. This time, he lingered. Held him hard and kissed him harder. Corbin made a sound against him that Lucius devoured, greedy. Greedy to be kissed and held and loved. 

Corbin had never actually said the words, but this is what it felt like. It had to be. Nothing else had ever felt so strong. So utterly and painfully encompassing.

"Lucius," Corbin murmured against his lips. He looked at him with lidded eyes, shadowed and leery. "What happened last night?"

Lucius shook his head. Corbin had been right. 

They didn't have to talk about everything.

"Nothing happened," Lucius said. "It doesn't matter. It's not important."

Corbin inhaled, harsh and deep. He stepped out of his hold and deliberately put the sunflower into his hand. 

"Alright," Corbin whispered, looking away from him. "I'm gonna do one last check."

"Are we okay?" Lucius had to ask. 

"Nothing happened," Corbin said, throwing his words back at him. He turned his back, walking back toward the hotel. "Why wouldn't we be?"

Lucius watched him go, feeling wrong footed and not quite sure how to correct it.

A week, Elena had said. Maybe two. He could be patient. He could wait for years if he had to. He'd done it once and he could do it again.

He looked toward the sky again. It might rain. The clouds looked dark enough for it, or else they might simply pass them by. Hold off until another day.

He wiped the tears from his cheeks. They were going home. Stepping away from fantasy and back into reality. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't uneasy about it. The world could cut so deep, tear into flesh and bone alike and leave scars that'd last a lifetime. Corbin carried so many of those scars, but he also still, always, carried his heart.

Nothing could break like a heart, but it seemed his might last another day. No matter what happened with the Angels— no matter the damage the world might do to either of them— they would have each other. They'd be each others salvation or damnation, and Lucius would have it no other way.

He twirled the sunflower between his fingers. It faced the sun, hidden though it could be. 

He'd shine as bright as he needed to and welcome the dark he could not exist without. Light needn't destroy dark or dark light. They'd only trade shifts like the sun and moon. On even the darkness of nights, the sun was certain to rise again. 

He'd be there to find the light.