Felix woke up with his mind all sorts of messed up and tangled. He went on a date. With Hyunjin. They had kissed. It was the most perfect night he has ever had. It’s the most free he’s ever felt. He felt like the animals in Madagascar, running wild and finding their true selves. But his life is no movie. There is no cut to black or intermission. Just a cage. And his father being the zoo keeper; giving him scraps and making sure he looks presentable for the people gawking at him through the bars.

Felix knows that as much as he wants to see Hyunjin again, it would just hurt more when he says goodbye. But he can’t help himself divulge a little bit more before having to cut it off. He wanted as much as he could before it got stripped away from him. His dad may not be able to pick him up out of the sandbox, but he could still cause more pain than anyone ever knew. 

So Felix didn’t text. Not really. He answered when Hyunjin messaged first, but he didn’t want to initiate the contact. He started going into Club 143 when he could. He wanted to see Hyunjin, even if it was from a distance and they were talking casually. He desperately needed to be in his presence to breathe properly. There was one night he felt extra brave and stayed later than usual. They had a casual conversation, but it felt intimate and Felix wanted more of it before he let it go.

Now it’s this.

Whatever this is.

Something softer than it should be. Something dangerous in a way Felix isn’t used to. His jaw tightens.

If my father finds out-

He cuts the thought off before it can fully form, but the damage is already done. He knows exactly how it ends. He’s seen it before. With that girl at the playground. With Hongjoong. With anyone who even looked at Felix without his father’s permission. People who matter becoming leverage. Weaknesses being carved open and exploited until there’s nothing left but consequences for Felix. Hyunjin wouldn’t stand a chance against his father’s wrath.

Felix’s fingers curl slightly against the table.

You’re going to get him hurt.

The words settle heavy in his chest, impossible to ignore. Because this isn’t just proximity anymore. It’s attention. It’s patterns. It’s Felix walking in and immediately searching for him like something in his chest depends on it. It’s Hyunjin’s smile when he looks at Felix and how it’s different than when he smiles at anyone else.

Felix forces himself to look up again, and immediately regrets it. Hyunjin’s closer now, leaning over the bar as he talks, that same easy smile still in place.

It does something to Felix. Something unwelcome.

He shouldn’t be smiling like that because of me.

But he is. Felix knows he is. And that’s exactly why he has to end it. Tonight. Before it turns into something harder to walk away from. Before Hyunjin starts expecting him to stay. Before Felix starts wanting to. His throat tightens slightly.

Just walk out.

He could. Right now. Leave the money on the table, disappear before Hyunjin even had a chance to get him alone. If Hyunjin got Felix alone, Felix would agree to anything he asked. Hyunjin spots him and starts moving toward Felix.

Felix doesn’t move.

Because the truth is, Felix wants his attention. He wants to see him. Just once more. One conversation. One moment where he can pretend this isn’t already over.

You’re weak.

The thought is sharp, familiar as if he could still hear his father saying it to him every night before he was sent to his room. Felix huffs out a quiet breath, shaking his head almost imperceptibly.

And he just might be. Maybe he is weak.

Because instead of leaving, he stays. And he watches. He watches the way Hyunjin moves between people, the way he listens, the way he cares in small, effortless ways that don’t fit into Felix’s world.

He watches like he’s trying to memorize it. Like this is something he’s about to lose.

I can end it after tonight.

A lie. He knows it the second it forms.

Because if Hyunjin looks at him the wrong way, if he smiles, if he stays, if he makes it feel easy again, Felix might not walk away at all. And that would be worse than anything his father could do.

Felix drags a hand over his face, exhaling slowly as he finally lets his eyes lift again. Hyunjin is already looking at him with curiosity and determination on his face. And there’s that moment; that quiet, dangerous pause where something unspoken passes between them. Something that feels a little too much like being seen.

Felix’s chest tightens.

This is it. End it. Push him away. Make it clean. Before he gets closer. Before he matters more.

Before Felix forgets how to let go.

Hyunjin starts walking toward him. Felix doesn’t look away. And somewhere, deep down, beneath the fear and the logic and everything telling him to run, there’s a small, traitorous part of him that thinks;

If he asks me to stay… I won’t be able to say no…

Hyunjin didn’t trust easy.

He couldn’t afford to.

Trust, in his world, wasn’t soft or forgiving; it was a liability. A crack in the armor. The kind of mistake that got people hurt… or worse.

He had built everything he had on that understanding. The bar, the connections, the quiet control he maintained over every corner of his life; it all depended on him staying sharp. Detached. Untouchable. And then there was Felix.

Hyunjin exhaled slowly, standing behind the bar as he wiped down a glass that didn’t need cleaning. His eyes drifted, against his better judgment, toward the far end of the room. Felix was there. Like he always was since their first date. Not causing trouble. Not drawing attention. Just… existing in a way that felt too deliberate to be accidental.

Hyunjin had noticed it days ago. Felix slightly inserting himself into little parts of Hyunjin’s life. Hyunjin found himself glued to his phone, almost excited waiting for the blonde to text him. He still hasn’t set up the second date he promised. But he knew Felix would be there while he worked and he planned to ask him tonight. Hyunjin wanted nothing more than to keep the blonde safe and near him at all times. That alone should’ve been enough for Hyunjin to keep his distance. It wasn’t. Instead, he found himself watching him. Studying him.

The small things, at first. The way Felix preferred the corner booth. The way he always sat facing the door. The way his eyes flicked to every new person who walked in; not obvious, not paranoid, just… aware, prepared.

“Your eyes are going to burn holes into him if you keep staring like that.”

Hyunjin didn’t look away. “I’m not staring.”

“Right,” the bartender, Seungmin, muttered under his breath.

Hyunjin ignored him. Because the truth was, he wasn’t just watching Felix anymore. He was waiting for him. And that was the scariest and most exciting thing Hyunjin has ever felt before. Hope.

Felix felt like the light at the end of a tunnel. A beacon of positivity in Hyunjin’s world of control and unpredictability. Felix always looked to anybody passing by like he was carefree and innocent. Hyunjin, being very observant, noticed when Felix was feeling anything but. There were moments; brief, fleeting ones where something else slipped through. Something unguarded. Something that didn’t belong to the version of him Hyunjin knew he should be wary of.

Hyunjin had seen it last night. Felix had stayed late. Later than usual. The bar had emptied out, leaving just the two of them and the low hum of music in the background. They’d talked; really talked for the first time. Nothing important. Nothing dangerous. Just… things.

Music. Stupid stories. A half-finished argument about whether pineapple belonged on pizza. It was easy.

Hyunjin dragged a hand through his hair, forcing himself to look away. That was how it started. That was how people got comfortable. And comfort got you killed in Hyunjin’s world.

He knew better than to blur lines with someone like Felix. Someone who hadn’t been burdened by life. Someone who had options for his life. Someone who got to choose his future. Hyunjin should’ve cut it off the moment he realized that. Instead, he found himself stepping out from behind the bar. Moving toward him. Like he didn’t have a choice in it.

Felix glanced up when he approached, something unreadable flickering across his expression before it smoothed into something lighter.

“Are you staring again, or should I be flattered?”

Hyunjin huffed a quiet laugh, leaning against the table like this was normal; like this didn’t feel like stepping into something he wouldn’t be able to walk back from.

“I think you like the attention.”

Felix rolled his eyes, but there was something softer there. Something that lingered just a second too long.

And there it was again.

That crack.

That version of Felix that didn’t quite fit the rest.

Hyunjin should’ve left it alone. He didn’t.

“There’s this place,” Hyunjin said, before he could stop himself. “Down the street. They do these painting classes. Drinks, music… something different.”

Felix blinked, clearly not expecting that.

“Painting?” he repeated.

Hyunjin shrugged, suddenly aware of how ridiculous it sounded. “Yeah. Figured you might want a break from… whatever it is you do when you’re not here.”

There was a pause. Hyunjin almost took it back. Almost laughed it off, turned it into a joke, pretended he hadn’t just invited someone he didn’t fully trust into something that felt dangerously close to personal. But Felix didn’t shut it down. Instead, he tilted his head slightly, studying him in that quiet, careful way he had.

“Is that your way of asking me out?” Felix asked, slight teasing and amusement in his voice.

Hyunjin smirked, even as something in his chest tightened. “I mean I was already going, but it would be better with a certain sunshine’s company. Sooooo what do ya say?”

Felix hummed, but there was the faintest hint of a smile tugging at his mouth.

Another pause.

Then-

“…What time?”

Hyunjin didn’t answer right away. Because that was it. That was the moment he should’ve reconsidered. Pulled back.

Remembered who Felix was; or at least, what he represented.

Danger. Complication. A risk Hyunjin had no business taking. Instead, he met Felix’s gaze and said, “Tomorrow night.”

And just like that, he let his guard down. Not completely. But enough. Enough to know this wasn’t just curiosity anymore. Enough to know that whatever this was becoming… it wasn’t something he’d be able to control. And despite the fact that he had control over every aspect of his life, he was willingly giving control to someone else. That power switch made Hyunjin both scared and exhilarated.