I should have known better than to go down that alley, but the idea of being late made me shudder. The bar, Fox Heat, a few paces away thumped with music.

I tossed the used rag in a nearby garbage can with half a mind to keep it since it touched Kosmo… but I’m trying to keep some dignity here.

I regretted it.

Kosmo was fiddling with his phone near the road, the box at his feet. How is he not sweating? I made my way to him.

He wore leather everything. Jacket, pants, belt… Is his underwear leather? Is he even wearing underwear? My eyes dropped before I could stop them. Away. Then back. Then away. Aaand back. Shit. I was staring. At his bulge. At Kosmo’s goddamn bulge. God, I’m so inappropriate… Does he ever struggle to fit it into his pants? While it’s hard, I mean. I chewed on the inside of my mouth. 

“Alrighty, I paid ya.”

I snapped my eyes up worried he noticed, but the building had his attention.

“T-thanks—ah, s-soooooo… what’s Blood Bite?” A secret sex club? Can I join?

His eyes flicked to me. “My band.” His voice slightly raspy, but warm.

“You’re in a band??” My voice a squealing pig. Tone it down. He’s never mentioned anything about a band in his interviews. It must be a secret-ish. Nothing a little research can’t figure out. Oh—his expression changed—his interview face… the face that everyone gets. Why am I surprised? It’s not like he knows me. It’s not like we’re friends. I’m just some random girl who got her bodily fluids on him.

I want him to remember me.

Would he… remember me?

“Yeah.”

“What kind of music do you play?” Look at his leather. You know the answer, Sai.

“Rock.”

“R-right. Duh.” I motioned at his attire. “Dumb question, I guess.” I’m doing SO great.

“I mean, we play other shit too,” he crossed his arms. “It’s just, our main thing.”

“R-right.” I couldn’t keep my eyes on him. The ground felt safer, especially since he wasn’t trying to steer the conversation at all. I’m the one asking all the questions. I must not be interesting to him and that thought bummed me out so much. But who can blame him, look at me. I’m gross. Nasty. Compared to the women he fucks on a daily basis, I’m a nobody to him.

Just a nobody.

“What do you listen to?”

I quickly met his eyes, “I-uh, like The Cult.” Then away. Back.

“No kiddin’?” His eyebrows raised hardly a millimeter. “I didn’t expect that.”

“I-I’m sorry.”

“Nothing wrong for liking what ya like.”

“Right, s-sorry.”

Stop. Saying. Sorry.

His lips curled up a millimeter too. I think.

“Well, Space Energy, I better go.”

I cringed at the name. “R-right. Uhm…”

Quick heels clicked on the pavement behind me. I ignored it thinking it was just a passerby.

“Sai?!”

I flinched.

“Woah, I didn’t mean to scare you lady!” Venus stood next to me all dolled up. She wore a huge smile, and a tight orange dress that sparkled hard. Her squirrel tail bobbed around playfully as she placed her weight on one hip.

“I didn’t know you knew Kosmo!” She said to me.

“Oh—I-I don’t.”

But she does?!

“And here I thought he made a friend.” Venus did a little dance to pull her dress down. “Ugh, this fabric.” She glanced at Kosmo, “And let me guess—you’re cold.”

He folded his arms against his body.

He’s cold?! It’s eighty-degrees AND humid.

“You’re insane.” Then she looked at me. “Did you ask your mom about Saturday?”

“Oh, y-yeah. I’m free.”

“Perf—GOD what happened to you?” Venus grabbed the arm I was using to itch my face.

There was dried blood on my hand. It stained my blue fur, and gross-looking gashes covered my knuckles. 

Kosmo glanced over as Venus held on.

“Fuckin’ drunk.” He muttered.

“Excuse me, what drunk?” Venus asked.

“U-uhm.” My ears fell as the walrus’s face appeared in my head.

This is just another punishment. I won’t let it get to me.

Venus clicked her cheek. “Let’s get you cleaned up in the bathroom. Come with me.”

Venus pulled me by the elbow toward the bar, but… I didn’t want to leave. What if I don’t get to talk to Kosmo EVER again? Can I… just touch him somehow?

“Wait!” I said, trying to sound calm and failing. Venus stopped.

I looked at Kosmo, my heart speeding up.

His eyes were already on me.

“Uh, t-thanks… for saving me.” I smiled.

“Sorry you had to go through that shit.”

Should I shake his hand? Give him a hug?

Heat filled my face as I reached my fist out and smiled. “Uhh—random fist bump?”

My heart pounded full force. This is it—I’m going to touch him!

He reached up with his free hand but immediately dropped it. “Probably shouldn’t, don’t want to hurt ya.”

Nononono!

“Oh, right, sorry.” I busted a laugh so awkward God would die if he were watching me—because apparently he is. “H-how about a handshake?” My heart was beating on overdrive. The heat spread to the tips of my ears—steam might have been coming out of me if I were a cartoon.

He reached up and gently gripped my hand. A cute grin grew on his lips. I could feel his warmth. His sturdiness. His—

He let go.

I’m never washing this hand again.

I couldn’t help the smile on my face when I turned around. Venus definitely noticed because she gave an eyebrow-raised-smile at me before leading me into the bar.

We peed, then moved to the last sink by the wall putting some distance between us and the other furs in the bathroom.

Venus shook her head in disgust after I explained what had happened in the alley. “What a piece of shit!”

“I’m just relieved Kosmo was there,” I hesitantly scrubbed away the dried blood. “He’s so… strong.”

“Yeah. You’re not allowed in alleys anymore.” Venus ran her fingers through her long ginger hair. It just about reached her butt. “This area can get sketchy. Gotta be careful. I’ll drive you to your car.

“Oh, thank you.” I dried my hands with some paper towel. “Sooo, how do you know… Kosmo?”

“We’ve been friends for years. We kind of ‘embraced-the-suck’ together when we first met and we’ve been close since. He’s a super sweet guy. And, he’s cute, all my friends like him.”

“Cool, cool. Yeah, he’s super nice.” My face started to burn. “He’s um, super cool.”

Just stop talking.

Venus smirked. She glanced down at my shoes, then back up to my face, and said, “You’re really not trying to impress your guy at all tonight.”

I couldn’t hide the frown on my face.

“Sai, look. The Fox Light sucks. But you should dress how you want to feel. Which should be confident, not… whatever this is… buuut, I like your new haircut, it’s edgy.”

I patted my newly exposed head-section. “I almost cried when the lady shaved it off.” The fur where my hair used to be was soft, and thin, like on the rest of my body. Weird how they can shave some of it yet not all of it.

“Well, it fits your emo-vibe.” 

Venus gave me some fashion advice, then drove me to my car.

“Text me when you get there, you got this!” she said, out her car window as I got into my four-door.

She drove away.

Right.

I got this.