$6.68

That’s all the money I have in my bank account. Noodles and broth it is.

I doom scrolled for too long to ease my depression—cat paws, art tips, cats on glass, a muscular pole dancer—I studied the dancer’s movements; the way his muscles flexed as he held his weight off the floor. I honed in on the serratus anterior muscle. It’s a confusing muscle. I need to touch it with my fingers to help me understand it.

I need to find a buff friend.

Would Tyler help me? He’s not buff, he’s skinny. I doubt he’d take his shirt off for me. God would see, God forbid.

I haven’t seen Tyler much, maybe once last month? He’s been busy with work to establish his dream.

We share the same dream. House, kids. I stay home to take care of the house and kids, he works as a doctor.

That’s…what I want. 

We’re not together—as in dating—which frustrates my mom. She says I’m doing something wrong if he doesn’t ask me out by fall.

I’m dreading the answer I’ll need to give.

Redemption.

That’s what this is about.

                                                                                               ***

“I’m available all week, just let...me know.” I said, as my boss hung up on me.

Asshole!

My hours got cut…again.

I need to convince Aston to give me another commission. Maybe I can contact Venus for some modeling advice, I haven’t seen her since we went shopping four months ago. She went oversees for a bit. France, I think?

I’ll send her a text.

Sai: Hey! How’ve you been?

Maybe she can help me.

I only have a few minutes to get ready. I’m meeting Aston for coffee, and to drop off her commission—and to finally get PAID.

I opened a new tab, ignoring the other forty-seven.

I typed in the search-bar: How to manipulate someo—delete. How to convince someone to hire you?  

…focus on demonstrating how you solve their specific problems rather than just listing skills…

Okay—so I need to solve a problem of Aston’s.

I’ll ask her if she has any issues in her life but I’ll need to say that a different way a way in which I’m not directly trying to pry into her life but wanting to be helpful with some kind of situation she’s in yeah that sounds about right.

I whipped on a white blouse buttoned up to my neck, and some dress-pants. Then left my apartment holding onto the large painting with both my hands. It was wrapped in newsprint for protection.

Just a ten minute walk. I thought about what I’d say to Aston some more. I haven’t met her in person yet, but I’ve talked with her on Foxgram. She’s very meticulous. Very detail oriented. Everything was specific, the pose, the palette, the lighting—I just hope she approves of it. She didn’t say much when I sent her a photo of Charlie—her Great Dane pup—finished, just asked when we could meet.

So, yeah. I’m nervous.

I need her money today. I’m down to $0.48 in my bank account as of yesterday after buying more noodles.

My monthly subscription to Kosmo Night set me back $50. Maybe I shouldn’t have done that.

                                                                                             ***

Aston is a white rabbit with pink slicked back shoulder length hair, and long ears. She sat in front of me with a cappuccino, shoulders relaxed, posture perfect. She investigated the painting, looking closely. I picked at the cuticle on my pointer finger. A dot of blood appeared.

“Beautiful,” she said. “You did a great job on his expression. Did you trace it?”

I looked up with a gulp. So direct. 

“N-no ma’am.”

I’ve never needed to trace.

“Pleasantly done.” 

“Thank you, ma’am.”

“Aston, is fine.”

Her purple-pink eyes made me nervous. They were so firm, so scary.

There was a second of silence, which scared me even more.

Maybe I can make my pitch now? Should I?

Let’s do it.

“Uh-uhm, I would be happy to paint more for you. If… if… you needed it. I-I have a lot of time on my hands, and I really enjoyed working with you. And… And I could give you a discount.”

She just stared at me.

Keep going, Sai.

“Do-do you have any people in your life with an upcoming birthday? Or an anniversary? Or… uh… funeral—”

Why did I say that??

“Scratch that last one sorry, I’m not trying to pry into your life HAHAHAHA.” I swallowed, my mouth dry, and the coffee I ordered is too hot to drink. Do I say more? Was that enough? Was I too loud? I can’t get a read on her, am I annoying her?

She took a long sip of her drink, half-closing her cold eyes. The heat didn’t seem to bother her. She set it down, it was empty.

Impressive.

Her stare, back. “I would like to offer you a job.”

Did I actually do it? Did I convince her?

“O-oh?”

“You are looking for work, yes?”

“Uh-yes ma’a—“

“I’m looking for an artist who isn’t afraid to paint erotic subjects.”

Did she say erotic?

Okaaaay.

Okay??

Okay. Be cool. BOOBS. I can draw boobs, I did this morning. I shouldn't turn down an offer I pushed out of her. Crap, I can’t make it awkward, I HAVE to say yes. Oh, God. What about… my redemption. Would this ruin it?

$0.48

It’s fine.

$0.48

…Yeah.

“That’s not a problem.” I said.

“Great. I’m glad you’re not afraid of erotic work.”

“N-not at all.”

“I’ll send you an email with the details. When can you start?”

“NOW-now, I can start now…that’s fine. Fine.”

She carefully wrapped the painting back up. Then stood. She was long, tall and wearing a tan suit.

I jumped up, fumbling as my foot became intimate with the chair legs. Aston waited for me to correct myself. I met her stare with an awkward smile. She held out her hand to me and I shook her firm grip.

“Thank you for your business, Sai Meadows. I look forward to working with you.”