Progress was slow, the week was long and every day, after walking-therapy, magic, and reading, I found myself curled in bed trying to tame the ache in my hip. I was glad for the solitude, especially since Chike hadn't bothered me during the passing days.

The morning before we left, I was given more clothes and a few gifts from Yuna and Hawkins. We left with little fanfare, and early in the dawn. Approaching the car was terrifying, it looked like a massive beast hunched on itself and rumbling too loud for my ears. But after an hour inside and seeing the blur of passing scenery; I found that it was comfortable. Even though I could barely see the reigning forest beside a smudged, brilliant, green. I read while Yuna and Hawkins spoke quietly to each other, and eventually fell asleep about halfway to the manor just from the low hum of magic emanating from the seats.

I was awoken by a shake against my knee. Gentle, and followed by a voice calling my name, I hummed disapprovingly. But settled when I was picked up and I could tuck my arms underneath my chest against the warmth. I blinked open my eyes with the different smell eased into my lungs, I shifted to my other cheek to study the old wooden walls, ceiling, doors and pillars, then the stone floor with muted green carpet and reverent decor saturated by history; the silence it held felt careful and welcoming, but also tentative. Hawkins grinned down at me when he saw me staring at him, he angled himself to press his lips high upon my cheek.

"Want down?" He asked. I shook my head.

"Want to see the library or your room?"

"Library." I said, twisting myself outward to look around the mansion better.

The windows were partitioned by square glass, the vast courtyard was guarded by tall, iron fences and hundreds of lilies. They were primarily white, and their fragrance was gentle, a soft welcome settled upon it, and made my hurt ease into a relaxed pulse.

Hawkins entered the vast room. Decorative plants clung to pots underneath green banners embroidered depicting a tower with a set of wings folding around its middle. Hawkins adjusted me when he stepped down onto the main floor from a higher landing, Yuna was following and rubbed down my back as she passed.

"Let's sit over there." She pointed towards a fireplace separated from the raised wooden floor by lowering itself further into a mosaic floor. I was sat on an old leather couch, its smell was plain, but also heavy. The walls were stacked high between two levels, the wood was dark, almost black and dull with age. There were tall rows of thick shelves also stacked with books. Everything was clean, warm, and beside the fire were cupboards.

I looked between the two, who settled beside each other, Yuna had tucked her legs underneath herself, with Hawkins' hand squeezing her knee. "Is it overwhelming?" Yuna asked, smiling at me.

"Big." I replied, turning in my seat.

Yuna shifted closer to Hawkins, speaking softly while I looked around. "When you need a break; come here. We'll instruct the guards to leave you in peace unless requested."

I couldn't suppress my shiver, but nodded regardless. "What are the lessons you have for me?"

Hawkins inhaled looking at Yuna briefly. "It's a tough regime, we have to build up your stamina, magical and physical. We're starting with the latter first, and magical lessons will happen in the evening. Keep working on your casting that I taught you at the mansion, but extend the time of casting. Try to cast for five minutes. We'll be starting next week, do you need more time?"

"No, I want to walk around the world. I…I want to help people."

Yuna tried to repress her smile, Hawkins chuckled with satisfaction that warmed my chest. "Alright, let's get started."

Four years had passed. Two were dedicated to slow progress, the following found actual capability that allowed me to walk, cast, and spar with Hawkins. My magic had grown stronger, the lessons that Yuna had for me were easy enough that she had fortified them with difficulty, by raising the number of how many basic fire runes I could maintain at once. But never allowed me its stronger form—circle magic. It wasn't for the lack of capability, she made it apparent that she had faith in my steadiness; but she was still hesitant, therefore only allowed me to focus on attacking with small bouts of casting.

The magical weapons that I could summon were of particular interest to her. She seemed proud every time I used them to fight her constructs of water-magic.

At first, her demonstrations of how to use my guns were almost painful to accommodate. It always felt wrong to fire them how she instructed; primarily since she only had a crossbow, because the High Council of Ruthar wouldn't allow Alvarians access to any sort of modern guns without a break in a treaty signed during the War of Rings. Which I eventually learned was a catalyst event breaking the Alvarian and Rutharian people across the two continents within The Great Barrier. It was triggered due to something that is still unknown to the books, but many speculate that it was started due to the humans being unable to maintain the power of the gifted rings meant to amplify the power of its user. Which meant that their magic spawned demons, it's common knowledge that Prince Sigurd's family didn't intend it, but their previous monarchs still made the rings.

After a month of trying to follow Yuna, I eventually asked to create my own lesson plan but continue her training regime with other magics. I found no favourites or proficiencies, there were only a few longer-ranged weapons I could actually use without twisting my leg or cracking the ankle with a jolt. So the sword remained part of my least-favourite but most utilised weapon, primarily because it was the only weapon allowed to the guard of Deunite.

It was about a year into living with Hawkins and Yuna when I learned the importance of their roles as the Baron and Baroness of Anshel Keep, which was a military point a few hundred miles away from the barrier. It was also a blacksmith city, surrounded by mining camps.

There were nights where I sat closer to the perimeter of the mansion, perched upon the high walls of the keep to watch and listen to the timeless chimes of hammers and magic. During summer, Yuna and Hawkins permitted me to sleep outside with a lamp and a book, sometimes they would join me if they weren't too busy with trade or nobility.

Tonight though, I sat with Yuna in the private foyer for a late night lesson, something that rarely happened. But I enjoyed her company, especially when we talked over a cup of tea.

When we were settled she eventually said: "What do you know of dark magic, Raymond?"

"Not much." I answered, "I know it's bad. The books were rather thorough with it but hardly explain why."

"Dark magic is used when the caster intentions harm, it's like wanting revenge when wronged. As an example, when you cast with anger or grief, intent to kill, maim, or grievously injure someone, you are casting with dark magic. If you constantly use it, then your magic will slowly be tainted which can birth a demon." Yuna’s magic called to the jug of water brought with our tea. "We have a few that are recurrent, that are primarily summoned through just using dark magic." She leaned and called to the water around her to offer vague shapes for reference.

"This first one is a Hunger Demon," It looked like a stomach with a mouth.

"This one you’ll be familiar with, a Ghoul." My spine shuddered with disgust as the two-legged monster appeared.

"This is a Wraith. It's also known as a Secret Spiller." It was hard to see but looked like a stick with a cloak.

"This is a Magic Sealer." It was a ball, "it’s an eye that follows you."

"This is a Mimicker. I've personally been haunted by one." It was a little string. "It wraps around and into your ear. They sound like someone you trust."

"And finally, an Anguish Demon." She paused and took a long breath staring at its formlessness, "a few years after the War of Rings, a tower was built. It was a bastion for veterans and those injured in the war. Today, it’s a school of healing." She pulled the water away, seeming to clear her mind. "When I was twenty-four, a demon had attacked the tower, it killed—" I waited for her to collect her words. "It killed every person in the tower, young, old…even children. The demon used their bodies to attack family members."

I studied her expression, the crease in her eyes. The pain was so profound that it left me nervous. "What caused it to be summoned?" I said.

"It’s theorised that it was the combination of stressed healers, the darkness of the tower, people in pain and the old emotions from the war. It was building up and then released."

Her brow was furrowed with grief, and a shimmer of tears tinted the whites of her eyes red. "I’m sorry," I whispered. She cleared her throat and straightened herself, tightly grinning.

She stashed the water back. "As am I. It happened a long time ago though, and the important people made it out," Yuna licked her lips before continuing.

"Do you remember what the books mentioned about helping someone free themselves from a demon?"

"It's not really known how, but being in a relationship or having a strong bond with someone you care for will allow the affected person to form a material bond to raw magic. Thus, making it easier to call them back and then begin the slow effort to help them."

"Very good, did you know that a bonded couple will hardly be affected by dark magic due to the shared space between their minds?" I shook my head, glancing down at the bracelet and ring on her right hand. "If—" I scoffed, "you are ever to enter a relationship with someone, platonic or otherwise. I want you to know; we will still be here for you."

I grinned tightly. "Of course. But, I doubt that I will enter a relationship at all. Considering no man or woman will possibly want to deal with my terrors and trauma."

"If you care enough for someone, you will go to great lengths to be with them." Her smile was strained, but still beautiful. I hated how she seemed so sure of her words.

"You'd be surprised there might already be someone willing to 'deal with you'." I grimaced, they were encouraging, but to imagine myself with anyone was difficult. I knew what I wanted, and I've read enough romance novels to know that they hardly interested me. But I couldn't help but feel a want for something, to be held, kissed, adored, touched, it was there, but there was no one to fill the role I wanted.

"I do want to propose something for you," I tilted my head to listen. "In about a week—there will be a gala. It's a recruitment phase and a proposal to anyone sixteen or older to see if they are capable enough for High Shield training. I say this, because High Shields are most likely to be travelling outside of their city."

"What is the gala for?" I asked.

She shuffled with a light sniff. "Parents primarily—to ask questions, donate, and see who will be with their children for two weeks during a monitored training camp. Which will test skills then simulate the life of a High Shield."

"And I should participate?" Yuna hummed with my question.

"I highly encourage you to, but you don't have to. The Anshel Household hosts the event, and Hawkins and I can possibly request Prince Chike—"

I couldn't hide my grimace. "No, I'll do the test, and show myself at the gala. I assume this is my big reveal?"

"Yes, we also disallow magic to be shown by the recruits. It prevents discrimination."

I lifted my brow, disbelief causing Yuna to huff. "Oh neat, I'll try not to shake anyone's hands or breathe on them then." I said, grinning when Yuna smirked.

"They'll be fine. Exposure therapy is nice for them." Yuna said, looking out up at the vast sky.

"I will worry for you during the next two weeks."

"It'll be fine. I can write for you." I said.

She shook her head, leaning on her fist. "I'd rather talk, if that's alright." I nodded, pulling my longer hair over my shoulder, it had grown in length down to my mid shoulders, it was soft and a pale white with a set of bangs peaking from the edge of my hairline to my jaw. My eyes also remained grey, with my pupils lighter than what was considered normal, luckily my vision was fine. My frame was smaller, thinner despite having put on weight over the years. I also hadn't grown much but the weight of my leg had been easier to manage with training.

"Yuna, when will I be able to try circle magic?" I said when the silence was long enough.

"Soon actually, possibly this week since you've shown excellent control of your magic."

I left when I drank the rest of my tea. Returning to my room for some reading and to journalise my day; it was a nice routine I established that calmed the night terrors, which had lessened over the years. But never in severity, it was a boon I could never remember what I dreamt about. Although, the anxiety they brought come nightfall occasionally made me stay up later than what my schedule allowed.

When morning brightened my room, I met with Hawkins and Yuna for breakfast. Then I joined the former in my normal lessons, he took me to the training hall instead of his comfortable study. The vast hall was pure stone, broken up by windows lacking in glass and a thatch roof, it always faintly smelled of damp soil.

Hawkins had stopped in the middle of the room and from a little pouch of seeds; created two chairs. "Firstly," Hawkins said, "Raymond, what is a rune?"

"They are the base instinct of casting. Thought turned into action, it is a connection between magic and ourselves." I reiterated for the hundredth time.

He nodded, pleased. "Good, now circle magic is specifically a want manifested. A want to hold fire at a bigger capacity, a want to create a golem to obey. Circle magic can be dangerous because it is a complete attunement to magic itself, your concentration isn't enough, you must truly, honestly, wish your actions to be true. Otherwise, it will wholly fail or backlash upon the user and consume their magic."

"It makes you susceptible to dark magic." I realised with an inhale.

"Exactly. We are going to start small, there is no correct way to cast circle magic when independent; other than you must want it to be true." I nodded with his explanation, and with a dry swallow I imagined a golem. It was a manifestation of the caster's will, a conjured need to fight, protect, or build. The books mentioned it feeling like a split of the mind, like a reminder to check the stove.

It was easy, almost like a big stretch shuddering down my spine. When I opened my eyes, I was greeted by a brilliant smile from Hawkins and the warm heat of a formless fire standing in front of me, it might have had arms, or legs, but the silhouette was continuously changing. I stared while wanting it to walk away from Hawkins and light a fire upon the ground.

I could feel Hawkins twitching, his pride ebbing off him with awe. "Excellent." I heard him whisper just as I let go, I exhaled sharply from my held breath, releasing the spell.