{Humans, hear us, were are going to [INVADE.] We lifeforms from the planet [GLEOP A GLEORP A LEORP] shall invade your planet on X/X/XXXX. What day is it over there? We [STILL DO NOT KNOW], but we will [BE COMING] and we shall [TAKE OVER YOUR PLANET AND MAKE IT OURS.] Why, [YOU ASK], we have [MANY REASONS AND WE WILL OUTLINE THEM RIGHT NOW.]

First off, we have heard for the past [MILLIONS OF YEARS] that [HUMANS ARE VERY MEAN TO EACH OTHER.] That you [HUMANS WILL ATTACK EACH OTHER OVER WHO BELIEVES IN GOD THE BEST] or [WHO IS THE SUPERIOR KIND OF HUMAN.] Which, we as aliens from a [SUPERIOR, MUCH KINDER RACE] think that [YOU HUMANS SHOULD BE NICER TO EACH OTHER] and so we will [INVADE YOU TO MAKE YOU BE NICER TO EACH OTHER.] You will be [MADE TO BE NICE TO EACH OTHER AND HOLD HANDS IN A CIRCLE AND SING A SILLY SONG.]

How could you be mean to one another? Why would you [ATTACK ANOTHER HUMAN] just from being different from [ANOTHER HUMAN WHO] just how happens to [HAVE A DIFFERENT WAY OF LIFE FROM YOU] or [BELIEVES IN A DEITY DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU DO] or [MAY HAVE VARIOUS DIFFERENT OPINIONS FROM YOU.] We are quite astonished by [THE AMOUNT OF VIOLENCE YOUR KND HAS COMMITTED AGAINST ONCE ANOTHER] over the past [MILLIONS OF YEARS] we do not get it [YOU ALL ARE JUST WELL ADVANCED APES WHO SOMEHOW HAVE A HOLD OVER SOCIETY.] So, we have decided that [YOU DO NOT DESERVE THE RIGHT TO BE AT THE TOP OF THE UNIVERSE ANYMORE.]

We [SUPERIOR BEINGS] from a better planet [HAVE MADE THE DECISION THAT WE CANNOT SIT BY AND WATCH WHILE YOU ALL GO AT EACH OTHER'S THROATS.] Where is the peace? Where is the unity? We thought you human valued [INDIVIDUALITY, BEING UNIQUE AND SPECIAL] even though [YOU ARE ALL BASICALLY JUST EVOLVED APES WITH SLIGHTLY MORE DEVELOPED BRAINS THAN THE AVERAGE ANIMAL.] You may have discovered fire, how to make tools and speak with your mouths, [BUT YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY CREATURES IN THE UNIVERSE TO DISCOVER THAT VERY THING.] So, [PREPARE YOURSELVES. SEND YOUR MAGICAL GIRLS, DEMONS, OR ANGELS] after us because [YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO DEFEAT US.] We are the most powerful beings in the universe there is!

So, [LET IT BE KNOWN THAT WE ARE GOING TO BRAINWASH YOU ALL!] You will be [MADE TO BE NICE TO EACH OTHER.] Do we have to power to brainwash you humans? [WE THINK WE DO HAVE THAT POWER, MAYBE.] Do we? [DO WE HAVE THAT ABILITY I THINK WE DO, LAST TIME WE CHECKED, I BELIEVE THAT IS VERY POSSIBLE WITHIN OUR POWERS.] We will stop all those [POINTLESS VIOLENT ATTACKS YOU COMMIT ON ONE ANOTHER.] No more [ARMIES.] No more [WEAPONS.] Just [HOLDINIG HANDS IN A CIRCLE AND SINGING A SILLY TUNE AND GOING LA LA LA LA LA LA.] 

And, just so you know [WE WILL TAKING YOUR PETS, TOO.] We hear that you humans are sometimes [MEAN TO YOUR PETS AS WELL.] So, we will be [TAKING THOSE FROM YOU AS WELL.] So, you'd better all be prepared to [SURRENDER, AND NO, WE WILL NOT BE TAKING NO FOR AN ANSWER.] You humans seem to think [THAT BEING MEAN TO YOUR OWN KIND ISN'T ENOUGH, SO YOU TAKE IT ON THE POOR, POOR, INNOCENT ANIMALS THAT LIVE AMONGST YOU.] Well, [NO MORE, ENOUGH IS A ENOUGH.]

You have [X DAYS] we shall arrive [WHENEVER X DAYS BECOME A DAYS!] We still [DO NOT KNOW HOW EXACTLY IT IS YOU HUMANS COUNT] but mark our words [WE ARE VERY CLOSE TO FIGURING OUT YOUR NUMBERPHET, MAYBE.] This is your [FINAL WARNING TO PLAY NICE WITH ONE ANOTHER, OR WE WILL ARRIVE AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT.] We will give you [X DAYS!] That is right [X DAYS.] Goodbye to you, mean humans. Gleep glorp!}

[Current Location: Enig, Sweden, In the Sweet Spot Apartment Complex.]

Staring at the small black cat currently seated on his bed as the late evening rolled around, the sea of questions had once again come back from the grave. Is this really his soulcritter? Maybe he had made a mistake. Surely, he had to have a tail somewhere! Studying the fellow for a moment longer, the fixer upper observed in silence. Maybe it's tucked between those legs of his!

No tail of any sort, the chimera gazed at his own. Alright, little black cat, it's time to fess up! This is his tail, isn't it? So, what now, does he want it back or something? Haha, right, as if he could just make this thing fall off and transplant it back, not happening! Big light purple eyes locking onto him, that spark from within popped off again. Could this kitty be his soulcritter after all? Agh, how should he know!

"Mrow, mrow, mrow, mrow, mrow, mrow!" the black cat shouted.

[Hi again, it's me again, your lovely, amazing, awesome, super duper handy dandy SoulCritter Translator! Aren't I the most amazing translator you've ever seen! I sure am! I sure am! What did our friend, the unnamed black cat say just now? Well, he said, "Why are you still looking at me like that? I'm hungry, feed me!" Okay, tootles! And, remember, I'm the best SoulCritter Translator ever!]

Little black cat holding his stomach, the hyena groaned. Why wouldn't he be staring at him? Hello, he's looking for a secret tail here! He's got to have one somewhere! Sigh, forget it, he should probably go to a local food store and get this guy something to eat. But, what? What time is it right now? Pulling his phone out of his back pocket, his eyes were glued to the numbers.

Twenty hours glued to him, the cat tailed individual sighed in tedium. It's almost dinnertime already. If he goes out now, Pira will probably hunt him down and drag him to the property manager building. Aren't all the soulcritter food stores closed by now anyway? Agh, what should he do at a time like this?! Oh, he knows, maybe he can ask the neighbors? Ick, no way, why would any of the chimeras open their doors and let him borrow their food? Not happening.

Pacing around the room for a moment, the chimera pondered. Maybe he can just make his own food for this fella instead? But, he shook his head at such. Like that would do him any good! As if he even knows the first thing about cat nutrition! What's he going to do? Maybe he can give this guy some leftover dinner or something? They're having duck steak tonight, right? Well, probably. Would he be allowed to eat that sort of thing? He doesn't know, agh!

"Mrow, mrow, mrow, mrow, mrow, mrow!" the little black cat shouted.

[Hi, hello, sup, what's poppin'? Your Handy Dandy Super Useful And Beautiful SoulCritter Translator here! What did the poor, poor, unnamed black cat say just now? Well, he said, "You'd better give me food, peasant! You hear me?! Okay, SoulCritter translator out, peace! I need to get dinner myself!]

Word peasant coming his way, the hyena gave the cat a glare. Excuse him, what did this kitty say to him just now? Peasant, peasant? Who does he think he is?! First off, there's no caste system here! And, second, the kingdom humans that run this place hardly even look their way! Ah, forget it, he's not going to entertain this for a moment longer! Scribble, scribble, scribble.

 [First of all, I am not a peasant. And, second, I am thinking of what to feed you, alright? So calm down, would you?!] A page from his communication log shouted.

"Mrow, mrow, mrow, mrow!" the little black cat screeched.

[Hello, hi, it's me again, the SoulCritter Translator! What did our pal say just now? Well, I'll tell you! He said, "I'll call you what I want, peasant! Feed me!" Okay, that's all, bye bye!]

[I told you already I'm thinking about what I can feed you, so give me a little while, alright?!] A page from his communication log shouted.

Smart watch beeping, the young adult let out a groan. Ugh, there goes the dinner alarm. Can he just skip that forever? He swears, Pira probably set that alarm on purpose! He'll eat leftovers in the fridge for the rest of the summer, thank him very much. Now, if this alarm will excuse him, he has more important issues to fry here.

Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock.

Pesky racket on the opposite end, the hyena let out a tired sigh. Oh, great, here he is, Pira. He swears, if he's even a few minutes late to dinner, he's right outside ready to come in and pounce on him! Can't he see that he's sitting here, pondering? He'll eat leftovers in the fridge for the rest of his rotting days, thank him very much!

Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock.

"Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof!" Halen barked from the opposite side.

[Hello, hello, hello, munch, munch, much, wooh, scuse me, us SoulCritter Translators here gotta eat too, ya know! What did our named friend say just now? Oh, I'll tell you! He said, "You lazy bum, open up this door right now!" Yup, there you go! Now, I'm going back to my dinner now, buh bye!]

Noise on the opposite end only getting louder, the fixer upper resisted the urge to hop out the window and make a run for it. Why does everyone always have to drag him back to that stupid property manager building every single day? He should have never moved into this place! The second he has enough money, he's outta here and moving to? Well, he doesn't know, he hasn't thought about that yet, probably! Maybe. Ugh, fine, he'll open the door. Click.

Pira and Varg waiting for him on the opposite end of the door, the cat tailed individual let out a barely audible sigh. Look who's here, the uninvited guests to the party! Pesky black dog hopping straight towards him, his earrings had soon been nibbled on. This pest, not again! He ought to buy dog repellent! No, scratch that brother repellent too, while he's at it. Ha, like that'd ever work at any given point, as if.

"Halen, how many times am A gonna have t' tell ya t' stop bitin' on Siorc's things?!" Varg cried in an annoyed tone.

"Woof, woof, woof, woof!" Halen shouted.

[Munch, munch, munch, wooh sorry 'bout that! Me again, the SoulCritter Translator! What did Halen say just now? He said, "I'll eat this lazy slacker's earrings all I want!" Okay, peace!]

"If ya don't knock it off, we ain't practicin' guitar afta work tomorra, got it?!" Varg's tone was urgent.

Pesky dog hopping off of him, the even more annoying obstacle's eyes wandered towards his bed. Eyes glued to the little black cat, the hyena prepared himself to cover his ears. Oh, great, here it comes. Blah, blah, blah, so he's found himself a soulcritter, blah, blah, blah, he found the cat that his tail belongs to, bleep, bloop, bleppo. Don't say anything at all, thanks, he's good.

"So, you found your soulcritter, kiddo?" Pira asked.

"No tail! No tail!" Walker shouted.

"You're right, he doesn't have a tail," Pira said to Walker. "Where'd you find him?"

Sea of unneeded questions floating his way, the fixer upper's eyebrow twitched. Oh, lovely, here come the millions of questions! Can an alien invasion just happen and kidnap all the thirty somethings men across the entirety of Europe and toss them back out unable to ever ask any inquiry of any kind for the rest of eternity? Yeah, right, like that would ever happen. Whatever, if he answers his question, will he put a cork in it? Scribble, scribble, scribble.

[How am I supposed to know if he's my soulcritter?! Look, I found him in a box by the meat market and decided to take him home because he said I have his tail, or whatever! Which, I'm starting to think might have been a bit of a mistake!] A page from his communication log shouted.

"Did ya feel anythin' when ya saw him?" Varg asked. "Lika spark?"

Question coming his way, the young adult blinked. He felt a spark, right? Quick, come on, tried to remember. Film reel in his brain, play back! Ah, yes, there it was, the scene of the crime when he found this guy! Mrow, mrow, mrow, mrow, you have my tail, take me home! Pop, pop, pop. Well, he supposed he felt something, maybe. Who knows?

[I did feel a spark, I think.] A page from his communication log responded.

"Well, I guess he's the one then, kiddo," Pira responded. "Congratulations. So, have you thought of a name for him yet?"

"Mrow, mrow, mrow, mrow, mrow, mrow!" the little black cat shouted.

[Heya, me again, your lovely dovely SoulCritter Translator! What did our unnamed friend say here? Well, "Peasant's family, feed me! I know you got the goods!" Okay, bye, bye, gotta dash!]

[I haven't thought of one, alright?! I'll think of one tomorrow before I leave for work! Can you stop asking me questions?! I need to think of what this guy can eat!] A page from his communication log exclaimed.

"I'll order a rush delivery of food for you in the morning, for now, he can eat with us," Pira responded. "Come on, kiddo, it's time for dinner. I made the duck steak you brought home."

"Mrow, mrow, mrow, mrow!" the little black cat shouted.

[Hello, hello, your awesome super cool SoulCritter translator here! What did the little black cat say? He said, "You'd better feed me thirds or fourths, peasant's brother! Okay, tootaloo!]

Grr.

This little!

Trudging off towards the property manager building, the young adult crossed his fingers. Please, don't let Natalie and Coiote be back from work yet. The mall's open until nine, right? And, Natalie had a lot of back orders to deal with, didn't she? Pretty please, don't be here! Extra pairs of eyes wandering towards him, he sighed. They're here, alright, how lovely!

"Swork here, Swork here!" Soiree cried.

"I can see that, Soiree," Coiote said, yawning. "How much longer until I have to go back to work?"

"I thought you get an hour, dearie," Natalie said.

"I do, but sometimes I have to go back early when it's busy, you know?" A yawn.

"Swork got new friend! New friend!" Soiree shouted.

"Wan, wan!" Opalene exclaimed.

[Hi, hi, your friendly SoulCritter Translator here! What did Opalene say? She said, "Friend, friend!" Okay, bye bye!]

Buzzing nonsense ready to throw him up a wall, the young adult seated himself furthest from everyone else. Oh, wonderful, they all already saw his possible soulcritter. Incoming, a million questions! Can he just eat his duck steak and rot in his bed until morning? Thanks, he'll do that in three, two, one. But, as he prepared himself to chow down, an entire portion of scraps had been wolfed down, in seconds.

"That little one sure is hungry, dearie," Natalie said. "So, what's your soulcritter's name?"

[I haven't thought of one yet.] An electronic voice said through his smartwatch.

"That's a shame, dearie, you should think of one soon," Natalie said between bites. "This fella looks like he could use a cute little bowtie that goes with his eyes! Why don't you swing by my shop tomorrow?"

[I have work tomorrow. You know that.] An electronic voice said through his smartwatch. Can he just, he doesn't know, melt into the floor? Thanks.

Biting into his duck steak, the young adult groaned as the huge purple eyes looked straight at him. Alright, alright, fine! He can have a little more, got it? He'd better hurry and eat his portion before he doesn't have any more for himself! That's definitely about to happen, isn't it? Probably, eyes glued to him, he lifted himself up from the table.

Excuse him for a second, let him breathe here.