Chapter 17 - Clean Slate

Part 1/5

Ren tapped his fingers on the desk, desperate for something to calm his mind. He'd tried to listen to some music, but gave up when he started confusing the composers. Which was absurd. But that's how loud his thoughts were.

He stared out of the window, not really seeing anything. His mind was far away. Focused on the marks that had been left on the tanned freckled skin he had failed to protect. 

Not that Ren had any clue of where Yuki was, considering he was being mercilessly kept in the dark.

He huffed harshly, throwing his back against the backrest of the chair. His head hurt from the lack of sleep in the last two days. Why hadn't Yuki told him anything yet? Ren had spent the whole weekend so anxious, he’d nearly asked Kai for Yuki’s address. But he figured that would be too invasive. Yuki probably needed space. Even if it pissed Ren off to no end.

“Watanabe!”

Niko stormed into the classroom, his face a dark scowl. It was shocking to see. Ren had never known Niko to yell. At least not that madly. 

Slamming his hand on Ren’s desk, Niko stared down at him, looking as though he might cry. “How could you not tell me?”

Ren blinked repeatedly, trying to make sense of those words. “What are you—”

“About Yuki!” Niko raged. His whole body shook “You knew, right?” 

The outburst caught the attention of the few other students who had already arrived.

“What are you talking about, Niko?” Itsuki asked, seeming very concerned. Taiko was right beside him.

Ignoring Ren, Niko turned towards them. “After the fireworks, Yuki was attacked.”

“What?!” Itsuki and Taiko exclaimed together.

The class began to stir around them. Several people stared in their direction. Ren sighed, uncomfortable at being the center of attention. 

“Niko,” he tried to calm his friend. “I don’t think—” 

“You know what he said to me, Ren?” Niko turned around and slammed his hands on Ren’s desk again. “No wonder you came alone. He expected me to know. I didn’t. And in return, I only made things worse for him.” 

Niko’s hazel eyes were troubled, glassy as he probably replayed what had happened that night. 

“But you knew. Kai knew.” Niko put extra emphasis on his boyfriend's name, making it clear he was far madder with him than with Ren. 

“I didn’t know much,” Ren admitted, stomach twitching with a wave of nausea. “I just knew he wasn’t open to talking about it and Kai was afraid he would shut himself off if he was forced.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Niko said firmly. “I’m his friend too, Ren. If he is being bullied or we need to worry about fucking stalkers when we are out together, I should know.” 

“No one thought they would stalk him, Niko. Not even Yuki himself,” Kai said with a solemn voice as he approached the group. 

Walking up to Niko, he attempted to place an arm around his boyfriend's shoulders, but was shoved off. The rejection hit Kai hard. His expression was so painful, Ren felt bad for him.

“I’m still mad at you! Both of you!” Niko snarled. “And since when does Yuki think things through? You're his best friend, Kai. You know he would downplay anything that was going on.” 

Kai and Ren exchanged looks. They knew Niko was right. Even if their relationship had been stormy so far, Ren knew how much effort Yuki put into being okay. He had known there was more than what Yuki had let on. 

It was why he’d told Yuki he would defend anyone in need. And why he had been worried sick all weekend. 

Kai took in a shaky breath. “I didn't want him to push me away again.”

It hit Ren, in that moment, how close Kai and Yuki really were. The night of the confrontation, Kai had been enraged, furious at the whole thing. But now Ren could see, Kai wasn't mad at Yuki for keeping things from him. 

Kai was mad at himself.

“Kai, we talked about this,” Ren tried to reassure his friend. “There was only so much we could do unless Yuki—”

“So, you two did talk about this before,” Niko concluded. “You talked to Ren, but couldn't talk to me? Did you think I wouldn't care? Or that I’m so useless I cannot help a friend?”

“Of course not!” There was panic in Kai's voice. “I just didn't want to stress you out with everything. I-I, I thought...”

As surprising as it was to see Niko so worked up, lashing out at Kai just like he did back when they declared themselves “enemies”, Ren should’ve seen it coming. Just like Ren, Niko was not the type of person to stay quiet when someone he cared about was in danger. 

Yuki deserved good friends like Niko. Ones that wanted to protect him from that kind of threat. No wonder Yuki’s feelings for Niko probably still existed.

Ren pressed his lips together, trying to focus on the present situation.

“I don’t care what your reasons for not telling me are. I should have known about it! And you’re both aware that Yuki and I don’t talk much outside of the four of us being together.” Niko shot Ren a ferocious glare.

At that, Ren frowned. He tried to keep calm and understand Niko’s side. But the way he was being looked at when his mind was already so full of worry for Yuki, made his patience slip. “I agree you should have known. But don’t go putting it all on us.”

As much as he liked Niko and didn't want to be a bad friend for him, Ren couldn't stand the unfairness of his words. Kai, especially, didn’t deserve to be hurt like that. 

“We didn’t do it because we don’t trust you or because we disregard your feelings. It wasn’t our secret to tell.” Ren sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Kai only shared it with me because he thought I could help ease some of Yuki’s stress.”

Niko snorted with disdain. “And how would you—”

“Easy now, Niko,” Itsuki interrupted, patting his friend’s shoulder. His voice was calm but firm. Niko’s nostrils flared as he averted his furious gaze to the other side of the room. “The important thing is Yuki's okay. He is okay, right?”

“Physically, yes. But mentally…” Kai said quietly.

“He's not physically okay either, Kai,” Ren said, tightening his fists. “His hands and knees were all scratched and bleeding.”

Kai’s jaw clenched. He turned his head forward, hiding his face from the others. “He's probably got more than a few bruises then. He bruises too easily.”

“Was it anything serious?” Taiko asked. 

Taking a deep breath, Ren turned to him. “Yes. He was able to calm down afterwards, though.” He decided it was better not to mention Yuki going to his place, since he didn’t know if sharing that information was okay. “But I am worried. I’ve been trying to text him over the weekend and, when he replies, it’s always short and very vague.”

He let out a low huff as he remembered the few text messages he had gotten from Yuki. Without thinking, he fished his phone out of his pocket and checked their thread for the millionth time. It had nothing new. His eyes wandered through the very frustrating conversation, if he could even call it that.

May 28 - 11:28 pm

Gorgeous asshole: Just got home. Thanks for calling a car for me.

Ren: Glad to know you’re safe.

Ren: Try to get some rest, okay?

Gorgeous asshole: Ok

May 29 - 9:15 am

Ren: Morning! How are you feeling?

Ren: Were you able to sleep?

Chibi: Yeah. I’m fine. 

Chibi: There’s a lot to deal with right now. I will text later.

May 29 - 1:35 pm

Ren: It’s way later already.

Ren: How are you doing?

Ren: Talked to your family about everything?

May 29 - 2:09 pm

Ren: Yuki?

Chibi: Things are being taken care of. 

Chibi: My dad has everything handled. 

Ren: Okay. Let me know if you need anything.

May 30 - 9:05 am

Ren: Morning, Chibi.

Chibi: Seriously, in text too?

Ren: So that’s how I get you to respond. 

Chibi: 😑

Ren: Are you gonna tell me anything or do I have to beg?

Chibi: 😏

Chibi: I like the idea of you begging.

Ren’s stomach had flipped at that message, just like it did again now. But he’d decided not to indulge Yuki’s nonchalant behaviour.

Ren: I’m serious, Chibi. How are you? What’s going on?

Chibi: How can I take you seriously when you call me Chibi?

Ren: You’re really not gonna give me a straight answer?

Chibi: 😋

Ren: I’m worried about you.

Chibi: That’s a first

Ren: A first? Are you serious?

Ren: Just… please, don’t keep things to yourself.

Chibi: I’m not, don’t worry. 

May 31 - 6:22 am

Ren: Morning, Chibi!

Ren: You’re not going to school today, right?

He hadn’t gotten an answer to that so far. With a low growl, Ren locked his phone and tucked it back into his pocket. He looked up at Kai and asked with concern, “Has he told you anything, Kai?”

His friend only shook his head, without turning to them. He was clearly affected by what had happened. The purple bags under his eyes showed he’d been as restless as Ren for the last couple of days. And Niko fighting with him must have only added up to his stress.

 “See, you guys totally should have invited me,” Taiko declared loudly. “I would have beaten those bullies to a pulp.”

“One of them had brass knuckles, Taiko.” Ren sighed. “They would have destroyed you.” 

“Says the idiot that punched a guy when he was leaving!” Niko complained. “I hope Yuki laid into you about that.”

Ren remembered the look that Yuki wore when he was screaming in Ren's bathroom. How he shook after he thought of the worst. The few tears that escaped when Ren tried to calm him back down. 

“Is there anything we can do to help?” Itsuki asked.

“Maybe we can do something about the bullies?” Taiko suggested. “I mean, there's got to be something we can do.”

“Not really, especially if Yuki won't even tell us everything that’s going on.” Kai rubbed his palms against his eyes. “I’ll try and call him at our next break before he gets to class. Maybe we can at least learn if he's feeling better since the whole incident.”

“Wait. He’s going to school today?” Ren asked, alarmed.

“I don’t know,” Kai admitted. “But he has two classes later this morning.”

Niko chimed in, still grumpy, “He told me he is going today, like an idiot. What is he thinking, when the guys who attacked us are from his school? He has got to stop pretending he’s okay when he obviously isn’t. I’ve been telling him that since we met.”

“Fuck,” Ren cursed to himself, ignoring Niko’s animosity. “What’s the name of his school?”

“Kōritsu Kōkyō,” Kai answered, finally looking back with a frown. “Why?”

Before he could think, Ren was on his feet. He grabbed his school bag and turned to Niko. “You stop this nonsense of fighting with your boyfriend. I guarantee you he’s feeling way worse than you are. You two sit down and have a decent conversation,” he said bluntly, before storming out towards the door, ignoring the calls from his friends.

“What are you doing, Watanabe-kun? Class is about to start,” their teacher stated when Ren almost ran into him.

“Sorry, sensei, but I have something really important to do right now. I promise I’ll catch up on everything later.”

Without waiting for a response, Ren was out of the classroom.